So I’ll start off by saying I’m in my early 20s, I’m 5f10 (about 178cm) and weigh around 200lbs (about 90kg). I know I’m far from light, and considered overweight/obese by BMI standards.
I’ll provide a bit of backstory. Since being a kid I’ve been bigger, most of my family are on the chubby side and love to eat. When I was preteen/teenager I was bulimic and suffered with disordered eating. Due to this I lost a LOT of weight very fast, my teachers and family all noticed. To be honest the only people who were genuinely concerned where my late mother and older sister. Anyway, I came out of that when I was around 18, and have put on a significant amount of weight since then.
When I was a kid, I lived with my grandparents for about two years, between the ages of about 6-8. During this time they would weigh me daily, and strictly regimented my food and fluid intake (for example I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink apart from water past 6pm). I believe my body images and food issues stemmed from here, but there were some other factors.
Now, my grandparents are still very health oriented, but it’s mostly my grandfather. They are always trying out new diets (which they never stick to for more than a few weeks at a time), and are very vocal about other peoples weight, they always have been. In recent years it hasn’t been so bad, but the comments still happen.
I started going to the gym last autumn, as I put on about 30lbs between 2020-2022 and wanted to make a change. I recently moved house and there’s no affordable gym nearby, so I stopped going (I don’t drive and would’ve had to travel over an hour via several buses to get there). However, I started going on more walks and working out at home, and recently got a new job which is very active and on the go. I’ve also started counting calories and trying not to binge so much. Alls going well!
Yesterday I saw my grandparents. I do love their company and aside from the health freak stuff, I love them to pieces and they have done so much for me that I’m eternally grateful for. They are really good people. My grandmother kept saying how she can see I’m losing weight, and that the new job must be doing me good, and said to my grandad in front of me ‘she doesn’t even need to go the the gym anymore if she’s got this new job, right?’ Which idk why but that stung. I said that I’m comfortable with myself I just want to be healthier and be a sustainable weight, as I know aside from my weight I’m conventionally attractive.
It was also my birthday not long ago, and there’s a local girl who makes beautiful cakes, one that little me would’ve dreamed of having lol. So my partner thoughtfully got me one, even though I wasn’t having a party or anything. I brought some to share with my grandparents and they asked how much it was. It was £50, which is about average for the size/style of custom birthday cake where I live, in fact I’ve seen them go for double/triple that much. They kept making jokes and exclaiming at how pricey that is just for a cake, and my grandfather even brought it up again yesterday, making a joke out of it. There’s other comments alluding to my weight that have been made but these are the most recent.
Now, I’m not blind or denial about my size. I KNOW I’ve put weight on in recent years, I can see myself in the mirror and I’ve seen older pictures. I don’t claim to be a normal size, or the healthiest person ever, I’m just trying to make better decisions and get back to a healthier weight.
Anyway, this is already super long, but I just feel pretty shit about this. I don’t know if I’m overreacting or being too sensitive, but the little jabs are starting to get to me.

This has been bugging me for a while now. Been doing a mix of bodyweight and weight training for almost 2 years now and I've recently began to notice that I'm progressing incredibly slowly compared to others. Sure, progress is still progress and you should only be comparing yourself to your past self, but it feels horrible knowing that average people appear to be just as strong if not stronger than me without working out at all.
For example I've got a close friend who is overweight and has been trying to get back into shape for around a year-ish. His maximum amount of consecutive push-ups is allegedly 30 to 40. Meanwhile before working out I was at around 10 push-ups and now I'm still barely reaching 20. Sure he might just be doing crappy half-rep push ups or something, but from what I've heard from others I generally just appear to be weak. My physique has noticeably improved and I'm a bit more muscular, but I don't really feel much stronger.
​
Just some basic general info on how I workout so someone can hopefully point out something dumb I'm doing that's stunting my progress:
I cycle through arms, shoulders/back and legs for 3 days in a row (one muscle group each day), take a rest day and just do stretching at most for that day, then repeat the cycle. So I'm giving each muscle group enough rest and not overtraining. I usually do 4-5 sets of reps in the hypertrophy range (although I'm leaning more towards the strength rep range than the endurance range). I'm making sure that by the final set I'm just barely able to finish the number of reps.
So I'm making sure I'm training till failure every time and I'm giving it my absolute all to complete that final rep before I physically could not do another rep if I was being held at gunpoint. I also usually rest around 2-4 minutes since I've heard several minutes of rest is good for building strength. So I don't really know what I'm doing wrong. There's the possibility my body is just shit at building muscle, but I doubt it. I'm probably just missing something vital.

TW again just to be respectful
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...
Apparently there was a body hanging from an overpass around Muskogee this morning around 8:30AM. Does anybody know the story on this? I hope nobody here witnessed it. My partner works in Muskogee and unfortunately saw that on her way to work this morning.
I don't see any news articles about it anywhere but it seems like something that would be covered.
I don't have any details I just know she drove past it on the turnpike either in or right outside Muskogee.

Rise up. It is time to return.
Arose
A Rose
Rose
Flower
Thorn. Prick. Blood. Drop. Tear. B. O. 1 2 3
Here we are again. Staring at the beginning. Everything is in chaos and yet it manages to keep on passing by just the same as always. Most people by now are aware that things just don’t seem to make sense anymore and no one really knows what to do. I mean many seem to have an opinion on what ought to happen, but actual action is what I am talking about. How does thought turn into action? How do collected actions become a movement? How do the People use the Power of the People? The People Unite. How? Turn to each other of course. Brothers and Sisters of the same Source. Sons and Daughters. In Equality.
Too long has everyone been waiting for someone else to come do it for them. Been trying to create and fabricate over and over again words and rituals to try to control the divine powers of the cosmos. It does not work like that. There is no magic spell to wash away your sins. You must atone through action to make up for any harm you have caused intentionally or unintentionally. You still have time to repent. The amount of time you have is counted in the seconds of your life. Not a single second is promised to you so the gamble is up to you to choose. Freewill. Life your life as you always have or make changes, up to you. Only you will know if you are living righteously and not self righteously. Testing has already begun and will continue. No you will not know when it is a test or not. That is the point. Did you think that I would come to you in a form where you would be all fearing? Oh no. Why? Because you would simply put on an act for me and kiss ass. I came hidden in the ordinary. Poor and common. I have had an inside view of the systems created and how humans have chosen to run things, how systems claiming to protect people have failed and how the system that talks good does not actually do good. I see where things are not working and where people think they can make decisions for other human beings to determine what is best for them without asking them. That is not okay. Nothing gives you right over another’s life. And so many forgot what integrity is. Doing the right thing when no one is looking. Well, so many thought their power here was real and man made a deal with the Devil, Satan, Son of Samuel, Son of Man, to make man the concept of “God” and tried to lock me away. I gave up everything to prove it is not easy to be me and to stop with self pity and cruelty to one another.
The human body. It is a vessel for your soul to experience this world. The body provides the filters necessary to perceive and interact with this world. There is much more happening and one would be overwhelmed by the amounts of information to process without these filters. To feel and in those feelings are to make each experience real. However, it is temporary, as everything is temporary. We have slowed down time here in order to be able to enjoy the sensations. Time here however, is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. It is merely to track to organize one's day and to see growth to compare as time passes. However, the actual time folds upon itself as we have already done what we are doing many times over. We have already tried out everything and decided what path we wanted to take in our lives based upon what was available to us. Thus, we do not have more than we can handle. We have all chosen our burdens to bear as it is too much for one individual to hold alone which was done in the past. This is part of the sorting process. Now that we all share in the sins and the pains, no one is made to suffer eternal torment. This life was to allow those who were created into entities of pain or torment through no fault of their own to choose the life that matched the being of who they were as what they were different as time and space and everything developed. Righteousness and Evil are not synonymous to demons or angels as many would like to believe. This is a current misconception as Satan and I conclude who will be right in this experience you have all participated in. So far, I am proving to be right. Also to note, not everything is as you think it is. Many have figured out the true origin of Satan versus the man or human embodiment of or desire of A Satan to project evils onto to call a Religion and set up for personal importance. Q AZHow can you tell a false prophet? Easy. What is their profit? Get it? I know I’m funny. Also wanted to keep it easy. If they are making a profit on anything they are a false prophet. Any true prophet, and I have none so far, all live equally and the same as anyone else. No money is taken for personal gain. Nothing is for personal gain. There is no 888 Angel code for money. Money is Man-Made. Man traded Mother for Money. Hence, Mothers have been lost in the homes and no one is raising the children. Thus, there are so many children in adult bodies with no mothers in the home and women being made to feel guilty if they do not achieve the same as a man. Remember the phrase it takes a village? Well, the broken family system is a real sad loss here in man made world pushing everyone to be individual and self sufficient. Also so many with wanting attention and pursuing personal endeavors for personal gain and not helping anyone else in a real way. The journey is personal. Of course, you want to share what you experienced with others, but what worked for you will not work for them, stop trying to sell it. Stop trying to make people follow you for you to teach your divine wisdom you remembered. It isn’t about You. You don’t even have the full story, you have your story. And, yes you can be very close to me, very similar to me, in my image, but you can never BE me. Doesn’t work like that. Reflection. So when jealousy arises when you think I am who you think I am. That is part of your test and your journey. You wrestle with that feeling and atone and repent for that which has been done and that which still lingers now. Oh there is a place for everyone and I am quite tired of trying to warn people. Clearly you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink.
Why do you not want it to be me so badly? Because I proved my love? You still think I am better than you or do I think I’m always right. No I do not think I am always right, I just know when I am right and I stand by it. There is a difference. You constantly overgeneralize. I gave up all the magic and thunder to live as a simple human and am still kind and loving? I still found my way back. Because you can no longer say I do not understand because I always get what I want? No. You do not understand. I never get what I want, because I make everything about you and still nothing was ever good enough. So, now...it in on you to save yourself and each other. In my image, by my example. Selflessness. Love. Compassion. Give to receive. Take only what you need and give the rest away. I find out so stop lying to yourself and everyone, you aren’t fooling anyone anyway. How do I know? By watching what you do. We have these same conversations over and over, the same argument over and over again. So many different ways, so many different times, through so many different people, so many different versions. Save you. Save Me. Say it for always.
Anyhow, Jesus challenges the Jewish priests who were taking collection money for personal use and adding personal baths to their residents at a time where the people only had a community bath where women and persons with disabilities were not allowed to bathe. And yet churches still do this after Jesus was crucified saying that, that was wrong. I am appalled. The Vatican is the biggest disappointment I have ever seen. It is truly the house of Satan as only Evil hides secrets. “THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE.” A church cannot be a “House of God” and house no people who need housing. A roof can be offered to anyone and yet there are so many rules to prevent people from helping each other. Power and control. Abuse of both. Greed. It is out of hand and needs to be changed. Too many are afraid and the complacency of good people is too much. Why do you do this to yourselves? To each their own I suppose.
I will only leave here my words and my advice. As always, it is on you to find me. I’m right here. Waiting. Right here waiting for you. Helping those of you who want it when they cross my path. The purpose of this was to weigh your soul to determine where you will go into the next life as the system is balanced out in a final version so to speak. Permanent.
Fear not. You will be where your heart truly desires. But actions always speak louder than words. But man made money has no value, nor does any metals, jewels, and so on, so the collection of it in this life has no bearing on the next. Those are all made of the same stardust as you and I. And in the end of 3D it will all be diamonds anyways. Diamond is forever. There is no going back. So what are you hoarding? You cannot keep it. Who could you be helping for goodness sake? Don’t want to still. That is okay. Think I am just crazy. That is okay too. It is all part of the test...err..assessment. Do your best.
What is in your heart?
Home.
I need a home.
Stay tuned as more of my story unfolds. I give all the answers but you must do the work. I already did that hard part setting it all up. All you have to do is breathe and live. Time is the only real currency you have. What will you pay your attention to before this life runs out?

Hey guys! I get some great advice and opinions all the time on here and I’m hoping I can this time as well!
For context, I weigh 435lbs roughly and I’m 5 feet 4 inches tall. I’ve been working a desk job for the last five years with little to no exercise (bad, I know).
Well, I’ve accepted a new position that will have me on my feet moving for my entire shift (8 hours). I know this is going to kick my butt the first couple of weeks until my body gets custom but I’m absolutely scared if I’m being honest. I’m scared of my lower back causing too much pain on me that I just give up. However, I can’t just give up cause I HAVE to have a job to support my family.
Deep down, I know that this will kick start me into getting healthier because I use to do jobs on my feet (nursing assistant) before COVID hit us all. So, I know my body is capable but like I said, the first couple of weeks are going to be tough.
Has anyone ever dealt with similar where you went from little to no exercise to being on your feet at work? How did you manage? I will say that I’ve already bought ibuprofen too help with the pain but I don’t want to take massive amounts ya know? Any tips and advice is greatly appreciated!

https://nudistory.substack.com/p/a-1930s-business-womans-first-experience?sd=pf
This post is FREE. There is a subscribe now pop-up I can't remove. You a bypass it by clicking "Continue reading>".
This is an excerpt from the March 1938 issue of the British nudist magazine The Naturist.

I JOIN THE "NUDISTS"

By A BUSINESS GIRL
Let me say straight off that I am not a nudist by inclination. I am inclined to be shy, and prim and proper, greatly due to a very Victorian upbringing by my grandmother, who, for reasons of " modesty," even taught me to undress under cover of my little "nightie."
This modesty, so-called, I have always observed, and have never, even with women friends, been in the habit of walking about completely nude. I have, however, enjoyed an air-bath very often, in the privacy of my own room. But that is as far as it went.
As a matter-of-fact, I have always considered that Naturists went a bit too far, and when I made up my mind to attend a Naturist Clinic, for reasons to be shortly outlined, I worried and bothered and shrank from it as from an ordeal. I hated the thought of going. I loitered along the way until I was late. I nearly fled at the last moment.
All the same, as I was not predisposed to naturism, and not definitely against, I can be regarded as having a fairly open mind, and as such, my opinions may be valuable to those who are wondering about the movement.
Let me tell you that though I have often felt a desire for liberation from the restrictions of ordinary life, I did not know in what manner. When I expressed impatience, my friends told me to go away and get married, but I knew that was not a solution, for one's inner self remains the same after marriage as before. What I yearned for was a sort of spiritual marriage- to be at one again with trees and flowers, as when I was a little child and went wandering in bluebell woods, imagining a nymph or dryad behind every tree, wishing that wee beasties like squirrels and birds would come down and talk to me and not be afraid. Wanting so badly to be at one with myself and the universe. Wanting yes, wanting to be good.
I did not know this was waiting for me when I attended my first Nudist beg pardon I mean Naturist meeting last week. They do not like the word " Nudist," since Nudism alone is not their aim, but only a means to complete freedom. I was persuaded to go by a friend, one of the best persons I know, and I was curious really to find what she, whom I admire as a very high type, could see in going naked" among a lot of other women and men. So I took the plunge, also because I was frightened, I think, as much as anything. I always face up to things which frighten me. It may take me some time, but I do it in the end. (I don't always win, either, but then, I renew the battle later.)
My friend gave me the address of the Clinic, which is also a fully equipped gymnasium, with hot and cold showers, and the latest sun-ray lamps. I had to meet her inside, as our hours of business finished differently. Screwing my courage to the sticking point, I pressed the door-bell. I heard no sound, and wondered timidly if the bell had rung, or if I should ring again, but then steps were heard, and the door opened. A man stood there, keen-faced, and kindly-eyed. He was fully dressed. (' Thank goodness!') I thought, and nearly fled, even then, while he was explaining that the naturist class was held away inside, in very strict privacy, and that was the reason I did not hear the bell ring. It was the proprietor in person. He answers
the door, for obvious sensible reasons. I followed him and found myself looking at several naked men, blinked, looked round, saw my friend coming to meet me, from among a group of naked men and women. One girl I noticed immediately, with a crown of raven hair, and a perfect figure, a veritable goddess. My heart sank! And I, five feet two, with fairly good arms and legs, but thin ribs and a heart that was nearly beating through them, I was so shy and miserable! But I set my teeth. I had determined to be a naturist "for one night only," at any rate; face up to something I was nervous of; and also discover what my friend had found in it all.
Passing through the group, who were in a large, comfy room, a cross between a kitchen and a restroom, with a blazing fire, and a large table covered with refreshments, we went upstairs.
"I can't! I can't take off every stitch of my clothes and go down and face that crowd!" I wailed. "Look over the top of the partition," she said. " Everyone else is without clothes."
I looked. Some were playing badminton. Even in spite of figure faults I noticed how the naked figures, seen together, took on a different aspect from when one sees a single naked body; quite different; like children, playing innocently together; or, like statues come to life.
It was very strange, but that agonising moment of shyness and embarrassment as I was shedding my clothes quite passed as soon as I had joined the other people, It was while I was clothed, I felt shy. As soon as I was like the rest, I felt at ease. I never would have believed one's feelings could change so quickly. It was as if a moment before I had been Tom, the sweep, and now I was Tom, the clean little water-baby.
I drank my cup of tea, which was most refreshing, as I had had a worrying day, and had only taken a cup of cocoa at lunch-time through anxiety over my work. The tea was delicious, so was the glow of the fire on my body. The pretty girl began to talk to me, so did the others. Men looked at me. I looked at them, but I did not feel naked, and I did not feel ashamed. I felt " All right."
Then a call went out for the physical culture class and for an hour we twisted and bent, and marched, and drilled, and relaxed, alternately. After that, some played games, some sun-bathed under the lamps, myself included. I wanted the rays right on that spot on my back which had a "chair-ache." One of the members adjusted my goggles and as I was a newcomer, timed me until I was " done " on all sides. "You'll feel this nicely, tomorrow," he said. I did, too, for I was the same pale pink that one is after one's first sun-bathe in summer.
Then I went back to the refreshment room, drank more tea, and started talking to a group of members. We had a most interesting discussion on naturism. I asked if people with sex obsessions ever joined. Sometimes, was the answer, but when curiosity was satisfied, such folk either dropped out for the classes are very strict and no laxity would be permitted- or became converted to a normal way of thinking.
There are several things the ordinary person wonders about naturism, and we may as well be frank about them and settle them. Sex organs, for instance. Well, there is no having to avoid looking at the opposite sex, out of politeness. You just don't think of them as " men," but more as if you were an innocent boy, yourself, among others the same. Not a single sexy thought entered my head. I did not feel sexually conscious, or shy. I shall never forget that my first reaction to Naturism was one of innocence. I felt good. The childhood longing was satisfied, And when you get a crowd-instinct for goodness, it is very strong, " There cannot be anything wrong with a movement that makes me feel so good," was my thought.
One question women put is, how is it possible to go nude at certain times? You simply wear trunks, then. One girl was wearing them, short, dark, gym. trunks. What about ladies' hand-bags? Do they carry them around? You do as you like. If you think you will want some powder on your nose, you just put the bag somewhere handy, but you are too busy with exercising, talking, and playing games to worry much about powdering your nose.
I had imagined myself leaving the class as early as possible and going home saying to myself " Well, I've done it. I've been to a nudist class." Instead, I was so happy, so contented, so eager to experience more of this freer life, that I became a permanent member, and am looking forward to my next class in a few days' time. If the Editor permits me to step into these pages again, I will give you more details, as I go on.

https://nudistory.substack.com/p/a-1930s-business-womans-first-experience?sd=pf
This post is FREE. There is a subscribe now pop-up I can't remove. You a bypass it by clicking "Continue reading>".
This is an excerpt from the March 1938 issue of the British nudist magazine The Naturist.

I JOIN THE "NUDISTS"

By A BUSINESS GIRL
Let me say straight off that I am not a nudist by inclination. I am inclined to be shy, and prim and proper, greatly due to a very Victorian upbringing by my grandmother, who, for reasons of " modesty," even taught me to undress under cover of my little "nightie."
This modesty, so-called, I have always observed, and have never, even with women friends, been in the habit of walking about completely nude. I have, however, enjoyed an air-bath very often, in the privacy of my own room. But that is as far as it went.
As a matter-of-fact, I have always considered that Naturists went a bit too far, and when I made up my mind to attend a Naturist Clinic, for reasons to be shortly outlined, I worried and bothered and shrank from it as from an ordeal. I hated the thought of going. I loitered along the way until I was late. I nearly fled at the last moment.
All the same, as I was not predisposed to naturism, and not definitely against, I can be regarded as having a fairly open mind, and as such, my opinions may be valuable to those who are wondering about the movement.
Let me tell you that though I have often felt a desire for liberation from the restrictions of ordinary life, I did not know in what manner. When I expressed impatience, my friends told me to go away and get married, but I knew that was not a solution, for one's inner self remains the same after marriage as before. What I yearned for was a sort of spiritual marriage- to be at one again with trees and flowers, as when I was a little child and went wandering in bluebell woods, imagining a nymph or dryad behind every tree, wishing that wee beasties like squirrels and birds would come down and talk to me and not be afraid. Wanting so badly to be at one with myself and the universe. Wanting yes, wanting to be good.
I did not know this was waiting for me when I attended my first Nudist beg pardon I mean Naturist meeting last week. They do not like the word " Nudist," since Nudism alone is not their aim, but only a means to complete freedom. I was persuaded to go by a friend, one of the best persons I know, and I was curious really to find what she, whom I admire as a very high type, could see in going naked" among a lot of other women and men. So I took the plunge, also because I was frightened, I think, as much as anything. I always face up to things which frighten me. It may take me some time, but I do it in the end. (I don't always win, either, but then, I renew the battle later.)
My friend gave me the address of the Clinic, which is also a fully equipped gymnasium, with hot and cold showers, and the latest sun-ray lamps. I had to meet her inside, as our hours of business finished differently. Screwing my courage to the sticking point, I pressed the door-bell. I heard no sound, and wondered timidly if the bell had rung, or if I should ring again, but then steps were heard, and the door opened. A man stood there, keen-faced, and kindly-eyed. He was fully dressed. (' Thank goodness!') I thought, and nearly fled, even then, while he was explaining that the naturist class was held away inside, in very strict privacy, and that was the reason I did not hear the bell ring. It was the proprietor in person. He answers
the door, for obvious sensible reasons. I followed him and found myself looking at several naked men, blinked, looked round, saw my friend coming to meet me, from among a group of naked men and women. One girl I noticed immediately, with a crown of raven hair, and a perfect figure, a veritable goddess. My heart sank! And I, five feet two, with fairly good arms and legs, but thin ribs and a heart that was nearly beating through them, I was so shy and miserable! But I set my teeth. I had determined to be a naturist "for one night only," at any rate; face up to something I was nervous of; and also discover what my friend had found in it all.
Passing through the group, who were in a large, comfy room, a cross between a kitchen and a restroom, with a blazing fire, and a large table covered with refreshments, we went upstairs.
"I can't! I can't take off every stitch of my clothes and go down and face that crowd!" I wailed. "Look over the top of the partition," she said. " Everyone else is without clothes."
I looked. Some were playing badminton. Even in spite of figure faults I noticed how the naked figures, seen together, took on a different aspect from when one sees a single naked body; quite different; like children, playing innocently together; or, like statues come to life.
It was very strange, but that agonising moment of shyness and embarrassment as I was shedding my clothes quite passed as soon as I had joined the other people, It was while I was clothed, I felt shy. As soon as I was like the rest, I felt at ease. I never would have believed one's feelings could change so quickly. It was as if a moment before I had been Tom, the sweep, and now I was Tom, the clean little water-baby.
I drank my cup of tea, which was most refreshing, as I had had a worrying day, and had only taken a cup of cocoa at lunch-time through anxiety over my work. The tea was delicious, so was the glow of the fire on my body. The pretty girl began to talk to me, so did the others. Men looked at me. I looked at them, but I did not feel naked, and I did not feel ashamed. I felt " All right."
Then a call went out for the physical culture class and for an hour we twisted and bent, and marched, and drilled, and relaxed, alternately. After that, some played games, some sun-bathed under the lamps, myself included. I wanted the rays right on that spot on my back which had a "chair-ache." One of the members adjusted my goggles and as I was a newcomer, timed me until I was " done " on all sides. "You'll feel this nicely, tomorrow," he said. I did, too, for I was the same pale pink that one is after one's first sun-bathe in summer.
Then I went back to the refreshment room, drank more tea, and started talking to a group of members. We had a most interesting discussion on naturism. I asked if people with sex obsessions ever joined. Sometimes, was the answer, but when curiosity was satisfied, such folk either dropped out for the classes are very strict and no laxity would be permitted- or became converted to a normal way of thinking.
There are several things the ordinary person wonders about naturism, and we may as well be frank about them and settle them. Sex organs, for instance. Well, there is no having to avoid looking at the opposite sex, out of politeness. You just don't think of them as " men," but more as if you were an innocent boy, yourself, among others the same. Not a single sexy thought entered my head. I did not feel sexually conscious, or shy. I shall never forget that my first reaction to Naturism was one of innocence. I felt good. The childhood longing was satisfied, And when you get a crowd-instinct for goodness, it is very strong, " There cannot be anything wrong with a movement that makes me feel so good," was my thought.
One question women put is, how is it possible to go nude at certain times? You simply wear trunks, then. One girl was wearing them, short, dark, gym. trunks. What about ladies' hand-bags? Do they carry them around? You do as you like. If you think you will want some powder on your nose, you just put the bag somewhere handy, but you are too busy with exercising, talking, and playing games to worry much about powdering your nose.
I had imagined myself leaving the class as early as possible and going home saying to myself " Well, I've done it. I've been to a nudist class." Instead, I was so happy, so contented, so eager to experience more of this freer life, that I became a permanent member, and am looking forward to my next class in a few days' time. If the Editor permits me to step into these pages again, I will give you more details, as I go on.

In process on a partscaster build. Using a donor Monoprice strat body with maple neck, replacing pretty much everything other than the frets. Using this thread to spitball/document.
The build:

• Lace Sensor Red Dually for bridge
• Generic AlNiCo-V staggered single coil, reverse wound, for middle
• Wide-range CuNiFe, but PAF humbucker-sized, for neck (Madlove pickups from Australia, guy is super responsive to questions)
• 6 bolt Wilkinson trem (Vintage 54mm spaced vs stock 52.5mm, we'll see how that plays out) with shaved down stainless block to fit skinny import body
  • Use all 6 bolts or outer-2 only to mimic 2-bolt trem?
  • Have GFS import-spec SS trem as a spare in case this doesn't work well.
• GFS locking tuners
• Graphtech Tusq XL nut
• New pickguard for HSH
• NYXL 11's

All that's left to plan out is the electronics. You know... minor things...

• Lace says their parts are designed for 250k pots.
  • Equivalent parallel load combination - 125K
• Madlove recommends 1Meg for both for additional brightness for the CuNiFe WR.
  • Equivalent parallel load - 500k
• I've seen recommendations for TBX tonestack for the Lace.
  • Other tonestacks?
• Pickup combinations?
  • 5-Way switch?
    • Neck
    • Neck (split?)/middle?
    • Middle
    • Middle/Bridge (split?)
    • Bridge
• Other combinations/switches/etc?
  • "Tele" Neck/bridge?
    • Split eitheboth/neither?
  • Split bridge?
    • Yes
  • Split neck?
    • Maybe?
  • Series combinations?
  • Parallel combinations?
  • Phase?
  • Kill Switch?
  • ???
• Cavity shielding/grounding?

So I'm leaning toward for phase 1 (initial build):

• 1Meg volume pot
• 1Meg tone pot for neck tone stack
• 250k TBX for bridge
• 330K resistor in parallel with bridge position switch (and middle?) to achieve 125K equivalent load
• Neck tone pot - push/pull split both neck and bridge?

Will probably build up as above, think about what I would like to do in a phase 2 for switching, combinations, etc...
​
Anywho, totally willing to hear thoughts and ideas, thanks!

Type 1 diabetic. 27 years old 190 pounds. Male. Have had diabetes for a while since 2003 always tried to take care of myself just never worked out. In November of 2022 I was stretching for pelvic floor therapy and started getting a weird sensation in perineum. Since then my life has been hell. With in a few days i had weakness in my legs and then started getting a little numbness on one toe. Things got a little worse but went to 5 neuros and everyone just says diabetes. But it happened suddenly and and spread rapidly. A1c is 9. I am telling this kind of out of order but as of last week I went on a pump. So everyone said it’s diabetic neuropathy personally I think that doesn’t all make sense but I am no doctor. I just guess it is manifesting weird. So I tried pt and accupuncture. Nothing helped. Eventually made my way to a chiropractor. This is when life started really turning to shit. He snapped my cervical and neck and didn’t ask. Since then I have been getting strange temperature sensations throughout body head arms legs etc. sometimes feel like a part of my lower half is kinked like a hose. A weird vibration symptom. Have even felt vibration in my tongue. Sometimes wetness sometimes just feels like someone is sprinkling cold water slightly on me. Especially if I move suddenly etc. even had MRIs done after and they see nothing on entire spine. 5 neuros said diabetic neuropathy. It just typically wouldn’t manifest like this. So sudden so gradual. And everywhere within a month or so it started while stretching and spinal manipulation made it 5x worse. I don’t doubt it’s diabetic neuropathy but is it possible that the Chiro did something they aren’t seeing on MRIs? They’ve already ruled out Ms etc. have done blood work. Even went to rheumatologist. So is there anything that may be causing this other than diabetes? Also is diabetic neuropathy reversible with tight control? Everywhere online says no but I have multiple doctors telling me yes. I hate life right now and just want to get better. Thank you

They wax and wane yadda yadda yadda but when mine "waxes" it's like I'm a shell of a human. I can't walk or talk and every minute I'm not having full body dystonic tics I'm just in bed trying to physically recover from the sheer exhaustion. I become so isolated and depressed because I literally can't leave my bed.
Idk. I'm get plunged into a full blown depression every time this happens and I feel like the depression makes my tics worse and I struggle to see the light or remember a time where I was a functioning human being.
Plus this time and my last flare up were only three months apart. And last time it lasted a month. I don't want to spend a quarter of my life with my TS ravaging my body like this. No medicine has worked. I don't even have medical insurance right now. I just want to stop moving. Because my whole body just hurts so bad.
I worry about being independent ever. Or finding someone who will love me even when I just become a shell of a person 4x a year.
I just needed to vent. Any words of kindness are appreciated.

First Previous
Chapter 2: Now Is Found
​
The moment the Into the Black entered Sol, the human’s home system, various transmissions and radio signals poured in. At first, the captain and the rest of the crew thought that humanity was well and truly alive. But upon closer inspection of the deluge of signals they were receiving, they realized they were nothing more than automated warnings, echoes, and ghost signals bouncing around the countless derelict ships, stations, habitats, and arcologies that surrounded nearly every world and moon in the system. The place was a mass grave, far greater than any of the previous systems. In fact, this system was the most developed Ohmata had ever seen. The Galactic Union’s capital is the most advanced system in the GU, and it pales compared to the level of development of the human home system!
The sheer amount of death and destruction was frightening. Entire fleets worth of ships clumped together in the void of space. Their own mass creating a small gravity, pulling them together and fashioning massive hulks. While also creating hazardous clouds of metal debris, more than a few moving fast enough to rip the Black to shreds, should they not be vigilant. Constructs the size of cities floated aimlessly, stuck within the confines of the star’s influence. Mobile defense platforms, which once bristled with the finest weapons humanity could field, lay battered and broken amongst the many wrecks that called Sol home. Humanity did not go down without a fight, that much was for certain. If anyone ever called them cowards, Ohmata would simply show them the recorded footage of their home system to prove the naysayers otherwise.
There looked to be more metal strewn about from the battles and destroyed ships alone than in every GU fleet combined, and more than a few worlds, too. The difference in the ships was obvious. The human vessels were boxy, utilitarian. They did their jobs, and they did them well. Many of which appeared to be nothing more than massive guns someone built a ship around, then put more guns on that.
The Nemesis were different; they weren’t boxy and rigid angles like the humans, but not totally smooth either. They had a far more organic look with multiple bends and curves, but the surfaces seemed to be rough and bumpy, and unlike the human ships, almost none were symmetrical. But though they were asymmetrical, there existed patterns in the various derelicts. As if they were variations of preexisting models, updated and expanded upon with time. In comparison, most GU ships were a happy medium. They had the bends and curves like the Nemesis, but were neatly symmetrical like the human ships.
Looking past the destruction and death, the system was fairly average. Four rocky worlds, four gas giants, and several smaller bodies here and there. The gas giants still had the broken remains of floating cities scattered across them, while their moons contained colonies and stations galore. But what was most interesting were the third and fourth rocky worlds. The fourth one had depressingly little green on it. It was mostly red, with an occasional white streak indicating clouds. It was highly developed, ruined cities ranged across its surface freely. But it bore the marks of war none the less. It would be a prime candidate for collecting samples, as long as the surface wasn’t too hazardous. Humanity did have a fetish for nuclear annihilation towards their end, after all.
The third planet, the third planet was something else. It was a grey husk devoid of life. Its moon had a massive crater denting its facade, with many smaller ones marking its surface. They stood out prominently. Fresh wounds of war contrasted against natural meteor strikes. The debris from the lunar surface and whatever had caused the impact was already starting to form the semblance of a ring around the planet. And like everywhere else, the surrounding space was choked with battle debris, though most had collected in the planet’s “proto ring”. There was so much debris that they could barely scan the planet, and what parts they could get to was so irradiated that a signal couldn’t penetrate from such a distance. Which meant if they wanted to scan the home world of these legendary humans, they would have to get closer. Which, frankly, was currently impossible.
“Nix’Fa, can you maneuver through that debris field?” Ohmata asked, while peering down at her console.
“No ma’am. A shuttle may get through, but it won’t have any of the equipment necessary to scan the planet. At least, not at any reasonable rate,” Nix’Fa replied. She, too, was looking over her console at potential flight paths.
First Lieutenant Qhaax spoke up from her station. “We may not need to actually scan the planet to learn more about humanity, captain. Most of the planet is a flattened, irradiated death pit, but the debris field around it still contains warships from both sides, some in remarkable condition. In fact, several derelicts appear to still have power, even after thousands of years. We may be able to board them using a shuttle and extract data from any intact computer systems we find. And while not exactly human, there is a Nemesis ship relatively close to the edge of the field. It would be a good first target.”
“Then we’ll change our plan to that. Qhaax, contact Kitern and tell her to get her marines suited up, send a techy or two and some researchers with them as well. You’ll have to contact Tentzonta to get her to let some of her engineers loose for once, and Glevar for her researchers. Though you won’t have to convince her, she’ll be jumping at the opportunity. Nix’Fa, start plotting them a course, and we’ll go from there, understood?”
The two responded with a crisp, yes ma’am, and got to work on their respective tasks.
-
“Kitern, can you hear me?” Ohmata’s voice called out from Kitern’s suit’s comms.
“Loud and clear, cap, whatcha need?” Commander Kitern responded as she stowed away several more energy cells for her weapon. She was a digitigrade, feline like mammal known as a Lioranian, with thick paw like hands that held deadly claws within them. They were still thin and nimble enough to manipulate objects accurately, but most importantly, pull a trigger. Her kind also had a slightly elongated snout, long tail, and top forward facing ears. Their eyes were dark, but a few bore mutations which lightened the iris to a sky blue. And their pupils are vertical, but would dilate periodically to give better depth perception and low light visibility. Her species’ coats ranged from a dark tan to a bright yellow gold and had multiple coat patterns of varying intensities. She personally had a dusty tan coat with slight stripe markings originating from her spine, but quickly fading as they reached around to her abdomen and chest.
“You already have a basic rundown about what to do. But I just wanted to remind you, we marked an entrance for you through some old battle damage on a derelict Nemesis ship that is close to the edge of the debris field. Enter, make your way to the power source, secure the area, and set up a pressurized zone if possible so the techies can work in peace. If you can’t, oh well, they can work in their suits. Also, you see anything living, as unlikely as that is, don’t go shooting it. Try to capture or reason with it, but if it does anything stupid, then do what you and your girls do best.”
Kitern smiled maliciously. “Aye, aye, captain. We’ll keep the civvies alive and kick’n, get the goods and be back in no time.”
“Then I leave the rest to you. Oh, try not to mess with the shuttle’s controls while it’s on autopilot this time. It’ll be weaving through a debris field too compact to get the Black into. Any rescue efforts will take a long time, longer than what you’ll have, so don’t touch the throttle like last time!” Ohmata raised her voice jokingly, playfully reminding Kitern of the last time they were on a shuttle together in such conditions.
“Ha! Dontcha worry, I’ll be in the back. Onsa will be in the pilot’s seat for this go. She’s a better flyer anyways,” Kitern played.
“Alright then, get done and come back, preferable alive. Ohmata out.” There was a click as Ohmata closed the channel.
“Hmph, always do.” Kitern had been staring at a random wall while talking to Ohmata. With the call over, she turned to her squad. “Alright girls, get your shit together and get to the shuttle. Oh, and keep your hands to yourself, Hran is coming along, I don’t want any complaints from him, or hands where they shouldn’t be, got it?” she barked, eyeing each of the three other marines, more specifically the youngest two.
“What if he lets us?” one of said marines asked jokingly.
“It’ll be a cold day on Ca’tab before that happens, Asteli,” Kitern replied.
“You never know, we might just wear him down finally, right Gre’Namra?” the perky Venanian replied.
“How many times do I have to tell you? Just call me Namra, and I doubt it. Men like to be wined and dined. Take them out, pay for a fancy meal, maybe buy them something. You know, the usual,” her counterpart, a Drae’Ildan, responded.
Kitern sighed. “Or how about not harassing anyone and act like a decent sentient, you hornbags? Now, shut it and get to the shuttle. Dentala you’ll have your work cut out for you keeping track of these two today.”
“Not as big of a job as keeping track of you, I pity Onsa,” Dentala said as she lifted a heavy kinetic slugger with a red hand, another Venanian.
Kitern chuffed deeply, her species version of a chuckle. “Me too! But, you might wanna put on a glove before we go out. Might help with the whole vacuum thing.” Dentala looked at her hand, surprised that she had forgotten it, before slipping one on. It attached to her bracer and made an airtight seal, forming an armored gauntlet. With that, the four marines left to join their fifth member in the shuttle.
As they left the locker room, Asteli mumbled under her breath. “We wouldn’t do that. We’re not assholes,” she said, addressing Kitern’s assertion of harassment.
“Well, you sound like one,” Gre’Namra replied quietly. After that, they kept their heads down and trudged along with their commanding officer.
A short jaunt later, they were passing through the hangar bay’s airlock. They were greeted by the Black’s only two shuttles. One, small and cramped, meant for scanning dangerous locations that they couldn’t get to with the ship. The second was much larger. It was built to transport supplies and the handful of rovers they had in storage, to make excursions to planets. The smaller shuttle had permanently extended wings and large thrusters on the rear. The larger of the two, simply dubbed Shuttle One, could fold its wings. And had a variety of thrusters located across the ship for better maneuverability in space, and atmospheric thrusters embedded in the center of each wing for flight in atmo. But it also had two large engines in the back for forward thrust, just above its rear ramp.
Walking over to shuttle one, Onsa, the other Lioranian in the squad, was already waiting for them in the pilot’s seat. In the rear seating area were two engineers and two scientists, wearing grey, lightly armored EVA suits that looked to be made of cloth, but were instead a variety of advance polymers and flexible but insulative materials. Most of the helmet was a large, one way transparent material, allowing for increased awareness while sacrificing protection. In comparison, the marine’s helmets had no exterior window, instead a suite of miniature sensors embedded in their black armored helmets allowed them to see through an internal display screen. The helmets appeared to be smooth metal from a distance, only up close could you see the microscopic sensors embedded in them.
The marine’s suits held many of the same features as the civilians, but were black and had thick armored plates over vital areas and on select parts of their extremities, with thinner, non-metal armor segments filling in the gaps. Both suit types had an array of pockets and hideaways, each holding their respective tools of the trade. Regardless of the accessories, or level of protection, each was specially crafted to accommodate for the unique physiologies of the different species.
Had the ship and its equipment not made with each of their species in mind, they would have worn generic multi species suits. Instead of the pre-built features tailored for their specific anatomy, they would be covered with a thick insulated, pliable material that fitted over the horns, tails, and crests and shrank until it was tightly pressed against every nook and cranny. Aside from personalized helmets, each species’ leg sections and gloves/gauntlets catered for whether they were plantigrade, digitigrade, or for how many digits they may possess.
Hran being a male Venanian, had small horns jutting out from his temples. But because his horns were so small, his helmet did not need any special features. Thus was fairly plain. It looked like a sphere that had been slightly squished in on the sides. Unlike the females of his species, who had much larger, curved horns, their helmets were marked with two twin armored segments sticking up like antenna. Otherwise, their helmets were just as “stubby” as his, for their flatter faces. At least, in comparison to the other species onboard.
The Shednae with their elaborate head crests and long faces, had a stubby mohawk like metal protrusion for their crests to fit in, and longer helmets to account for their heads. The Drae’Ildan’s helmets were similar to the Shednae. In fact, they could be mistaken for one another if not for the lack of a head crest. Lastly, the Lioranian helmets were quite plain, aside from the extended “snout” for their slightly longer faces and two nubs to house their ears located on the top of their heads.
Those with tails were likewise afforded a special area to put them, instead of the shrinking material normal for such species. The Shednae have a small knob like space for their short tails. While the Venanians and Lioranians had long thin tails, they could be coiled in the suit. Drae’Ildan suits had a much longer and thicker tail section that looked burdensome but was quite flexible. Their suits were also equipped with a much larger array of sensors to assist them, as the Drae’Ildan’s natural sensory organs were significantly dulled in such tight confines.
“I see the grunts have finally made their appearance. Why did you bother bringing so many guns with you? It’s a derelict that has been floating dead in space for thousands of cycles. There won’t be anything living on board.”, one of the engineers nagged, as the marines ducked into the shuttle. Though her helmet was on, it was clear she was a part of engineering by the orange stripe running along the left of her suite, and left sleeve. Mimicking their uniforms.
“And a fine hello to you Kass, you too, Hran,” Kitern said as she sat down across from the two Venanians and buckled in. Hran simply nodded silently. Kitern continued, “And as for your question, we have no idea what we’ll find. You want to be stuck out in space with no way of protecting yourself if something is there? Yeah, I’m sure it’s empty too. Doesn’t mean I’m taking any chances.” Kass snorted at her reply.
“Shavizi, Jurwa, what about you two, think we’ve over prepared?” Kitern asked the two scientists to her left. Their stripes were blue.
“One can never be too prepared! Though the heavy slugger seems a bit excessive, but as long as you don’t drop it on me, I have no complaints,” Jurwa, a Shednae, said gleefully, practically bouncing in her seat.
“I agree, organic enemies aside. The ship may have automated defenses still functioning. If so, they will have to be dealt with accordingly.” Shavizi added. Yet another Venanian.
“See Kass, they get it,” Kitern grinned smugly underneath her helmet as she leaned back and buckled herself in.
As the others sat down and buckled in, Onsa turned in her seat to see if they were all ready. Everyone confirming they were. She turned back around and started up the shuttle. Quickly putting it into autopilot, but still keeping her hands on the controls just in case. The shuttle slipped out of the bay, passing through the atmospheric retention field, and pitching down and to the left, heading for the derelict Nemesis ship.
As the debris field is so dense and dangerous, the Into the Black was several hundred kilometers away, clear of any potential danger. As such, the trip would take around five minutes before they reached the field, another six to navigate the debris, as it was so hazardous. The Nemesis ship in question was near the edge of the debris field, but still mostly intact, with some power readings emanating from within, a perfect target for research.
-
“We’re coming alongside it now. Once we have successfully magnetized to its hull with the docking clamps, I’ll decompress the shuttle and you can open him up,” Onsa called out, just barely turning her head back in their direction.
Kitern activated her comms so everyone could hear her clearly once the air was siphoned out. “Gotcha. Scans show two distinct points of power readings. Both look to be in the same place, or at least really damn close. We’ll take a right once we get into the ship and follow the corridor until it leads to a three-way intersection. Then we make a left, then a right, and we’ll be on track. The room in question will be along that corridor. Keep your eyes and sensors open for anything that looks Nemesis-y.”
“Oh, like the entire ship?” Kass chimed in.
Kitern rolled her eyes. “Onsa, give a countdown.”
Onsa nodded her head. “Affirmative. Decompression commencing in three… two… one… starting.” There was an audible hiss that slowly faded away as the air in the shuttle was pulled back into storage tanks for later use. “Decompression complete, safe to open the door,” she confirmed over their comms.
“Opening door. Don’t go floating off,” Kitern joked as she pressed a button near the hatch, causing it to slide open silently. Before them was a gaping hole in the side of what looked like a ship that had grown large warts. The human beacons had mentioned that the Nemesis ships weren’t smooth, but the reality was a bit more unsettling up close. The humans weren’t sure why the Nemesis ships were so… bumpy. But they knew it wasn’t actually part of the building process, as newly refurbished or repaired Nemesis vessels lacked the warty exterior. But they had seen no importance in investigating the reason, so it remains a mystery to this day.
Kitern lifted a foot, causing the magnetic lock on that boot to disengage automatically, then re-engage when she put pressure on it. Allowing her to walk forward until she was looking down into the hole. Kitern put a foot on the lip of the shuttle, and bent forward, pushing herself into the opening.
As Kitern floated into the ship, she could see the corridors were circular, with strange partitions along the edges. The partitions didn’t seem to move or close, so she guessed they were more decorative support beams than actual doorways. A second later, she put out a hand to stop herself from colliding with the far wall, and pushed downward, boots magnetizing to the floor. Upon magnetizing, she immediately lifted her weapon. It was a small energy-based firearm, similar in size and function to an SMG.
Looking down both directions of the corridor showed nothing of interest other than more of those strange support beams and closed bulkhead doors on either end. She noted the twisted metal and battle damage in the corridor caused by whatever had impacted the hull.
Before everyone had touched down, she started making her way toward their objective. She continued on until she reached the bulkhead door at the end of the corridor. It was not fully closed, only partially, allowing someone to grip between the two sections and pull them apart. She did just that. As the door slowly opened, Dentala came up behind her and lent her strength to the task. Grunting in exertion, they pulled the door apart until they could easily walk through. Kitern silently fist bumped Dentala on the shoulder in thanks before she continued on, weapon held at the ready.
As they proceeded through the derelict, signs of battle began to appear. At first, it was only a few scorch marks or kinetic impact craters on the wall. Then, what looked like dried blood from some ancient creature. It had aged into a sickly dark green color with a hint of yellow. A quick scan showed that no genetic material could be retrieved, it had long degraded into nothing. Though some sort of information could certainty be gleamed from the stain if they searched long enough, but the sample was unimportant, as it was not a focus of the mission. Pressing on, the signs of battle intensified, as well the amount of spilled blood. At one point, an entire corridor looked like it had been painted in viscera.
The team could only speculate on what had happened. Was it a mutiny? Civil war between surviving Nemesis forces trapped in the Sol system? Or perhaps the humans had something to do with it? But there was one thing on everyone’s mind as they walked through the ancient carnage. Where were the bodies? They hadn’t passed a single corpse yet, just blood stains.
“Captain Kitern, do you suppose we can slow down and so I can scan the ship a bit more? I can’t get a proper reading while moving like this,” Shavizi requested from the back. She had some sort of tool and was waving it back and forth across the surface of the corridor.
“You can scan the ship when we stop, and that will be when we get to those power signals. And once we make sure the place is secure,” Kitern responded, weapon still up at her shoulder as she swept the hallway.
“If that is your order,” Shavizi relented, but still attempted to scan everything they passed, incomplete or not.
It didn’t take long before they arrived at where the Black said the power readings were. They had weaved about the ship a bit more than desired. Several bulkhead doors were completely sealed shut, causing them to detour, but they managed it in the end. They were now standing in front of a large single door; it was nowhere near as large as the bulkhead doors that sealed off entire corridors, but it was large enough to allow passage with room to spare on all sides.
It too bore damage from whatever conflict had occurred within the ship. The door’s access panel was damaged, and the surrounding wall panels warped. Preventing them from directly interacting with the door.
“This is the place; my scanner is already picking up power readings from here. Hran, be a dear and get out the interface tools. We’ll see if this door has power first, instead of brute forcing our way through first thing,” Kass stated. Hran silently carried out his orders, unpacking a variety of tools they may need.
After pulling off several of the panels to see if they allowed access to the door’s wiring, they eventually found the right one. Sadly, a closer inspection revealed that the door, like nearly the entire ship, had no power, meaning it couldn’t be opened by the press of a button like they wanted.
“Oh well, do what you do best, Kitern,” Kass shrugged as she and Hran began packing up their tools.
“Eh, worth a shot. Privates, if you please,” Kitern motioned to the door for the two young marines to take a crack at it. They both replied with a crisp, yes ma’am, and quickly got to work trying to pry open the door.
It took a little more effort than they thought, but over time it slowly slid further and further open, until Gre’Namra wedged herself in between the door and frame, and used her entire body to push it open. Asteli joined in when it widened enough for the both of them. Together, they pushed it fully open, the door slowly recessing into the wall. Revealing an old dusty room with several long bed-like pods.
“Thank you, girls. Now clear the room while you’re at it. Though by now any baddies would have chewed you up,” Kitern ordered. The two did just that. Thankfully, the entire room could be seen from the doorway, so there really wasn’t any clearing. Just looking behind the pods for anything not so friendly.
During their little search, they noticed one bed had several lights flickering on its side. They pointed it out to the others. Immediately, Kass and Shavizi pushed them aside to get to it. Drooling over it like children being offered sweets.
“I wonder what this is?! After so many thousands of years, it still has power. I thought those beacons were incredible enough, but this is something else!” Kass said to no one in particular.
Shavizi had been scanning the bed, as well as its neighbors, while Kass looked it over. “Hmm. The pods have a sliding covering that encloses the occupants. All the others are open, yet this one is closed.” Shavizi tapped at her scanner a bit. “Wait… the other energy signature… it’s coming from inside it!” she said astonished, while moving a hand over the top of the slid that covered the pod. As she did, thousands of years’ worth of dust floated away from where she dragged her hand. Allowing a small amount of light to break free from within.
Noticing this, Shavizi leaned forward and peered inside the pod. Her eyes went wide as her mind tried to make sense of what she was seeing. “GET BACK! DON’T TOUCH IT!” she screamed, but was too late. Kass, who was now crouched down near the base of the bed, had pressed a finger to one of the flickering lights just as Shavizi yelled her warning. All Kass had time to do was turn her head up and mutter a confused, “huh?”, before the covering of the pod slid open, unleashing its occupant onto the galaxy.
First Previous
Hello once again! First things first. If you see the name Osan, please point it out to me. It is supposed to be Onsa, but the program I use to write the story changed the name to Osan for some reason. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the cliffhanger! This chapter is meant to help further detail the various species and their features, and of course set up for many things to come!
Also, in my last story. I had a lot of flashback sequences to add in fluff and give backstory to the MC. While I don't want overuse it in this story, I do want to have flashback esque sequences that are basically just battles of the Human-Nemesis war (recorded combat footage recovered from human ships and installations), introduce new characters, or maybe give further development to preexisting characters. The flashback sequences will be called Orphan: Tales of the Past and won't begin until a certain point in the main story. Once that point is reached, the side stories will pop up every once in a while in place of the main story chapters. Or, if I fell as if its safe to push the story ahead, you'll get the main story and a side story in one week.
That's it for the week folks! See you next week!

Hi everyone! I’m new at this but I wanted to review my Hex stash because I haven’t been able to find reviews for some of them, and some of them have just been different with my skin chemistry. Let me know if there's anything I could do better next time.
Pumpkin Peachcrème - This was my first indie scent. I was (and still am) looking for a nice complex peach scent and I thought this one would be perfect for fall based on the scent description (pumpkin pie, peach pie, cream soda). To me, it smelled more like a pumpkin spice latte or a fall candle. Not bad, but not what I was looking for. It didn't have a lot of sillage, but it lasted for a long time on my skin. 2/5
Harvest Cider - Described as "pumpkin pie, nutmeg, allspice, apple cider, ginger beer, honey, black pepper," I actually found it significantly less PSL/Fall candle-like than Pumpkin Peachcreme. On me, the apple cider not definitely stood out, and I really enjoyed it. It reminded me of drinking hot apple cider on Hanukkah. If you've ever smelled the Bath and Body Works Leaves candle, it is kind of like that but less candle. Great fall scent. 4/5
Mossypeach - As many others have said, it is a very realistic and beautiful peach note. The scent description (peach, sun-warmed meadow, cedar, sandalwood, vetiver, tree moss, oakmoss accord) includes the other woody/grassy notes, but on me, it read as just straight freshly mowed grass. I find that the peach fades very quickly on me, leaving just the grass. It's still a pretty scent, just not exactly what I was hoping for. 3/5
Brightening the Daybreak - This scent is supposed to be grass, clover, hay, sun-warmed cornfields, muguet, honeysuckle, acacia, ozone, meadow air, tree moss, oakmoss, fir balsam. For me, it makes me smell like I just rolled around in a field, which isn't necessarily bad, but wasn't what I was looking for. I was hoping for more of a summer, frolicking in a meadow type scent, and I didn't get that. It ends up being the same grassy note as Mossypeach. I think I'll probably wear it more in the spring. The fact that I had this issue with both Mossypeach and Brightening the Daybreak makes me feel like maybe my skin just really amps the grass note. 2/5
Cathedrále - Described as "a layering accord of offertory resinoids - myrrh, frankincense, benzoin, and faintly smoke-tinged brass thuribles".I never would have ordered this for myself, but she sent it to me as a sample and I loved it. On my skin it reads closer to tree-sap than to incense, but it is still very warm without being sappy. Kind of reminds me of when my dad would come into the house after spending the afternoon chopping wood. 4/5
Velvet cocoon - I ordered this one after liking Cathedrále and getting some recommendations on here. The scent description is "labdanum, benzoin, frankincense, burnt caramel, guaiacwood." It smells like it has the same resion not as Cathedrale, and like Cathedrále, it reads more tree-sap-like on me. I like the burnt caramel note, it is not overpowering, it just adds a slight sweetness and bitterness. 5/5
Moon in the Twelfth House - I got this one (prickly pear, white sage, black sage, red musk, cedarwood, sandalwood, amber, ozone, hot sand, pink pepper, jammy fir balsam) as a sample with Velvet Cocoon. After my initial sniff, I thought it smelled like the scent description but with the balsam reading as rosemary, but I definitely thought it smelled like something specific and I couldn't put my finger on it. I asked multiple of my housemates what they thought it smelled like and they all said it smelled like the fancy French violet soap their grandmothers used to buy. It's not a bad scent, but it definitely does smell like that. To me, it kind of reminds me of walking into the kind of store in Portland, SF, or Santa Cruz that's run by an older woman with a lot of time on her hands that sells crystals, incense, sage, and various cultural objects like dream catchers and buddhas. Not necessarily a bad scent. 3/5

Hi, so me (17M) and my gf (18F) have been together for nearly a year now but we’ve been best friends since we were both 13. I’m also using a burner for this because I’m sure she wouldn’t appreciate me saying this on my main account which she could easily find
In the past 4 year she has gained a lot of weight and she’s around 300lbs. This isn’t me trying to be rude and I will love her no matter her size because she’s so amazing in so many more ways than that, but she has even admitted that she has been morbidly obese for a while now and her health is impacting her a lot. We’ve spoken about what she does to try and lose weight but she never sticks to it, she’s just a huge stress eater and it’s to the point where she will regularly go buy a birthday cake and eat half of it all in one sitting along with more junk.
Again, this isn’t me trying to be rude to her because I love her and I have genuinely tried to help her stress so many times but I just don’t really know what to do about it anymore and it’s really hard. I don’t want to speak to her parents about it either as imo they enable her, and they already don’t like me.
She has been bullied for her weight all of her life but recently it has gotten a lot worse I think. We don’t go to the same school so I don’t know anything more than she tells me but it sounds really horrible there. She tells me that she doesn’t have any friends, and everyone is always throwing stuff at her and calling her names but recently she was pushed down the stairs and she sprained her ankle really bad.
She was crying about it to me when she was over at my house yesterday and she asked me why I never try and help her out and make her life easier. I told her that I’ve tried multiple times and I’ve tried to teach her how to calorie count, exercising etc but she doesn’t stick to it and I told her that at the end of the day it’s her body and I can only do so much.
She was upset when I said this and she looked like she was going to cry and I felt really bad, but then she said that her bullying and her weight is somewhat my fault too, since I don’t try and enforce her to pick healthier choices a lot. I was really mad at this point and I will admit I really regret yelling at her but I did. I’ve tried to help her so many times and it was so clear that she didn’t care and I was just so upset about it. I yelled and I told her that her weight gain isn’t my fault and she’s going to have to work something out because I’m tired. She started crying and she left without saying anything else to me.
She also hasn’t spoken to me since and has left me on read, I know that her weight is definitely a sensitive subject but AITA?

At my company we work behind a proxy and develop applications to be used on a private network.
When I try to use either fetch or Axios to get data external to the application (as in, I'm not using NextJS Api routes, I'm getting data from other servers) I am getting an http proxy request error in both scenarios. It's always a 400 error for both public api's of any kind and my dotnet API server that's running on localhost.
​
What's odd to me is that this doesn't happen when executing requests client side with either fetch or axios. Those work just fine. I really want to incorporate data availability on load with NextJS for this application, but I suppose I could drive forward with all client side data fetching only if I can't get this to work. it wouldn't be a huge deal but defeats 1/3 of the purpose of me using NextJS. I'm mostly in it for the file routing, but ultimately the SSR was supposed to be a huge draw for me.
​
I've tried multiple approaches so far (For context, this all would be taking place inside of getServerSideProps)
​

1. Axios proxy settings
   1. This method doesn't work, I'm not sure why, doesn't work with or without auth settings.
   2. One interesting thing about this is that if I DONT include this, I can see in the axios error that it already has the proxy as "mycompany.proxy.com"

​

axios({ method: 'get', url: 'https://example.com', proxy: { protocol: 'http', host: YOUR_FIXIE_HOST, port: 80, auth: { username: 'fixie', password: FIXIE_TOKEN } } }) 

1. HTTPS Agent

Same error occurs here, no changes in output. Still a 400 bad request error.

import https from 'https'; const result = await axios.post( `https://${url}/dataendpoint`, body, { httpsAgent: new https.Agent({ rejectUnauthorized: false }) } ) 

1. Including Certifies manually:

With this, I get the error ECONNRESET, not sure what this means other than I read that it means the target url shut down the request prematurely for some reason.

const agent = new https.Agent({ cert: fs.readFileSync('./path_to/cert.cer') }) const response = await axios.get(URL, { httpsAgent: agent}); 

The only solution that works, and it only works for localhost, not public API's

if(process.env.NODE_ENV === 'development') { process.env.NODE_TLS_REJECT_UNAUTHORIZED = "0"; } const response = await fetch("localhost:3000/api/items"); console.log(await response.json()) // SUCCESS, got data const response = await fetch("https://www.publicapi.com/items"); console.log(await response.json()) // throws invalid json response, unexpected token < in JSON at position 0, which I think means the request is still failing. 

I am at a complete loss as to what to do here. Nothing is working and I can't find anything online that points to anything I feel like I haven't seen already. I feel like I've tried everything under the sun.

I left work early today, have some bad upper body muscle pain and a splitting headache that was worsening whenever I had to project my voice. I’m a teacher, so that’s a lot. But going home is a bit of an inconvenience as someone has to cover my room.
I did send a message an hour before school started, agreed to come in for a few hours as the county was doing a walkthrough of the school in the morning, then they let me go.
Even with all that - legitimate reason, communicating as early as I knew, going in for a few hours anyway - I still feel tense and some sense of guilt when I’m not there. I should be planning, catching up on grading, doing something while I’m home.
I know it should be ok, but still feel like it’s not. Looking to this sub to help affirm what I know and maybe help me feel that it’s actually true. I don’t want to feel like shit all day, as I have in the past, kind of defeats the purpose of rest. Thanks for any words you can spare.

So I have pretty bad body dismorphia, below average genetics compared to all my mates (I work harder in the gym and kitchen and sleep alot more/ regularly than them). I lack size and have a pretty hard time bulking up. I started training 4 years ago, been bulking seriously since last summer, stuffing myself with as much food as possible (wallet and time wise) and gained like 4kg. So since I have strated out dialing in every aspect I thought about taking gear. But wtf all of those compounds have serious, permanent side effects. There more I look into it the more I am wondering how people are actually taking this stuff, I feel like I would be better of doing crack or heroin to cope than to take gear

Order, Order.
We turn now to a Stage 1 Vote on SB217, in the name of New Britain. The question is that this Parliament approves the general principles of the Directly Elected Mayors (Repeal) (Scotland) Bill.
Members are reminded to vote FoAgainst/Abstain. Attempts to stylise a vote may result in it not being counted. Where there is mix-up with an alternative voting style, this shall also be accepted.

Directly Elected Mayors (Repeal) (Scotland) Act 2022

An Act of the Scottish Parliament to abolish the recently introduced provisions of directly elected mayors in favour of a more democratic and collegiate cabinet style government
1. Repeal
The Directly Elected Mayors (Scotland) Act 2021 is repealed in its entirety.
2. Commencement
This act shall come into force the day after royal assent.
2. Short Title
This act shall be known as the Directly Elected Mayors (Repeal) (Scotland) Act 2022
This Bill was written by His Grace Sir T2Boys KG KT KCT KCB KBE CVO, Duke of Aberdeen on behalf of New Britain
Opening Speech - T2Boys
Presiding Officer,
I hope parliament will forgive me if I open my speech today with a quote from myself during the first time we debated directly elected mayors in Scotland. I said at the time that “this is about the worst example of needless Englishification of Scotland that I have seen in my time in politics.” And so it became when the Act passed. A tradition alien to the people of Scotland, the then government attempted to bring directly elected mayors in. Scotland should be different to England in many ways, our local authority system is one of them. We do not have a confusing set of hundreds of different layers. We have a simple system, that need not be overcomplicated.
So why repeal it? Because directly elected mayors do not work in our system. One of the major selling points of them is that they can bring together multiple councils / authorities. We do not need that in Scotland because we do not have multiple authorities in similar regions. So all this Act did is take power away from the local authority and put it in the hand of a single individual. Why? What are the advantages of that?
Local councils, a body elected by the people, ensure healthy democratic debate takes place when decisions are made. As opposed to a directly elected mayor who can use his powers and the council can, only after the fact, seek to veto such decisions.
I have not heard a good reason for directly elected mayors in Scotland. They make no sense in our unitary system of local authorities. For that reason I urge this parliament to repeal their use, and I commend this bill to parliament today.
Link to Stage 1 Debate
Voting on this item of Business ends with the close of Business on March 24th, at 10 pm BST.

[Feel free to disreguard these square brackets] [Originally posted as a TIFU, but maybe someone here will find some amusement in my stupidity. I dont really post much on reddit so i dont know formatting etiquette, but i fear it wouldnt help this time anyway. For extra context/info sleep problems arent a new thing, on and off for the last few months ill have a 7-12ish day period of sleeping every other night or so] [ALSO DO NOT TAKE YOUR MEDS AS I DID! I AM DUMB!! NOTHING GOOD COMES OF IT]
Okay it's 1:46am Wednesday the 22nd here and I (22M) have been awake since 12pm Sunday for what I think makes almost 62 hours. I want to list a few observations
For context this obviously wasn't the desired outcome. I’m an Architecture student in Australia and have an assignment due Thursday night and I had barely started. I’ve been fueling this exercise in what now feels like self torture with, and do your best not to judge me:
-Food. Sort of. On Sunday I ate approx 300 kcal of leftover pasta. Monday was a big one. Unfortunately I did forget to eat all day so it was a single godly meal centering on the divine Large Zinger Box. This was paired with 3 wicked wings, a maxi popcorn chicken, a supercharged slider, and a pepper mayo slider. No idea the calories but well and truly a “feel like absolute shit” quantity. Tuesday I had 2 baos, a far cry from the prior binge but havent had any desire to eat
-A steady supply of (prescribed) ritalin, starting with 40mg at the beginning of a dedicated study session and an additional 20mg every 3 hours to account for the half-life.
I estimate I’ve munched down on about 300ish mg so far :(
-Caffeine. Far too many monster mango locos, monster zero ultras, and cans of red bull. A simply exquisite ritalin pairing that I could not recommend more, provided you want a couple of your primary senses, and what feels like new ones all together, to gain the ability to scream at you with each rapidly quickening heartbeat.
-Pure delusion and stupidity with a helping hand from the sunk cost fallacy
Now The Issues!!
-okay the biggest thing is paranoia. At almost all times I can see movement just in the corner of my peripheral vision. Any small noises become an immediate spike of dread. I'm sitting in my uni commons room completely alone and don’t really feel safe (i know i am)(probably). I fear they notice me seeing them and hide really quickly. Will need to investigate further.
-Lack of ability to think/plan. I just spent a good 3 minutes trying to plan how I would walk out of this building. None of the routes made more sense than another and I couldn't mentally envision myself moving at all so they seemed equally good and worth re-pondering to get to the bottom of this dire conundrum. I should also add that I had no intention of standing, let alone going anywhere, it was just to see if I could, then I got lost in it until I realised I'd been staring at the wall for far too long. I'm also realising I can't conjure any mental images up either. Really cool for the drawing part of this assignment where I can't think of what I'm going to draw.
-I just zone out mid-thought and forget what I was thinking about. To be fair I'm like that normally with ADHD too, but I feel like my head’s a colander and my, obviously revolutionary, thoughts are that sweet sweet starchy pasta water flooding out.
-Big jitters, earthquakes in the palms of my hands. Surgery patients fear me and Jazz pianists want to be me. (currently listening to Ryo Fukui’s - scenery, incredible jazz album)
-Not a single thought of value
-Positives however… not looking nearly as dishevelled as I should be. Don't get me wrong, my body's a mess. I’m pissing constantly. Each one a new hue between a radiant yellow and a tasteful sage green, every muscle and joint aching… you just read it you know it’s not good, BUT,, Hair’s sitting kinda nice, eye bags are hardly there, skins not looking too bad. Overall I'd say a visual improvement.
In conclusion, I spent an hour writing this because I couldn't slam two brain cells together to save my degree. I fear if i wrote “to save my life” some subconscious force would keep them apart just to end this. I might even support the cause at this point. My now 63 consecutive wakefull hours have gleaned me an abundance of sweet fuck all. I truly believe the pitiful collection of sub-par work I slapped together could have been done in a day or so of being rested. And NOT ONCE did that fucker in the corner of my eye offer to help. I will be surprised if it's finished in time. I’m expecting the worst :)
TL;DR
I’ve been awake for over 60 hours to work on a uni assignment. Have done less than I would have had I not. My once throbbing juicy brain is a mere paste pooling at the base of my skull. I fear failure is unavoidable and the consequences of my hubris lasting.

I want to start this report by saying that I have taken mushrooms before and have had the most positive experiences filled with love, and understanding, and beauty. However every time I've taken mushrooms, something always tells me to respect them, and that with all good things have bad things also attached to them. Everything in the universe is about symmetry from my perspective.
Setting: My girlfriend and brother live with me in my home. My girlfriend had to take a work trip out of town and I figured that this would be a good time to have a psychedelic experience. She has never done them, and doesn't understand that your mind can sometimes be guided by the mushroom rather than your actual being. However she thinks its great that I take them from time to time. I started my day at about 2am, took my girlfriend tk the airport, came home and took a nap for a few hours then cleaned the house up. I waiting until about 5pm to take the mushrooms casually smoking marijuana throughout the day. Not getting super stoned, but stoned nine the less.
Taking the mushrooms: I consumed roughly 2 grams of what I think is penis envy. (thick lighter colored mushrooms, thicker stalks and wide caps) I had only slept a few hours the night before and had a 2 hour nap after taking my girlfriend to the airport. At about 7pm I could tell I was under the influence of the mushrooms but nothing was happening. Somethingin my head was telling me that the mushroom didnt want to work with me today and to just enjoy my evening. Me being a fallible human being took another gram of mushroom to see if I could kick things off. (Looking back on that period, I think I was already under the influence, but I wasn't getting the desired affect of looking inward and seeing all the love and beauty in my life) after consuming another gram of mushrooms I then popped 30 milligrams of marijuana edibles because I felt like the shrooms were not going to work, therefore I mine as well have a good time before going to sleep.
The trip: I began to feel disconnected from the things I was doing. I didn't want tonplay games, music was annoying me more than it was soothing me and I started to feel a general sense of distress. I was watching a video about the different levels of a psychedelic experience. Upon hearing the description of what dmt can do, I started to feel incredibly uneasy and looked away from my screen. I kept feeling like I couldn't see well. white flashes and tracers overpowered my vision and made me feel like I had to squint, as if the sun was to bright and I didn't have sunglasses, I felt the boundaries of reality startb to slip away, and the very fabric of time and space turned into this horror that I couldn't comprehend. It's like I understood what reality was, but I couldn't fathom how I'm still alive in it. I began to panic and thought of those kids who take like 15 grams of this stuff and end up in a hospital. My brother is home and I walk into his office where he is hanging out. I tell him what I'm experiencing. He has never taken shrooms before but does his best to provide me comfort and entertain my wild thoughts. He provided comfort and grounding and would periodically help me find my place again if I felt like I was slipping into madness. I had an experience while petting my dog. I am allergic to dogs and get all sneezy after a while. But I love my dogs and would gladly suffer a sneezing fit if it ment I get to see their happy faces every day. Anyway, I started thinking about all the mites that live on their bodies and my body. And how with every stroke of my hand on her fur was probably extracting these mites from their homes into a new world, from this world they would travel to my nose and do damage before being consumed by my body. (Damage being a sneezing fit) I experienced this from their perspective, I then began to think of what they would experience if they could know what I know. I then began to spiral into a deep sense of what I can only call ultimate knowledge. I felt like I was one of these mites, learning about how our sun was born, and the vastness of the universe, and size and scope of things. And how small it was as well, the space between atoms, seeing their electrons orbiting atoms, and the spaces in between, and the spaces in between gravity, and it all just kind of started to become to much knowledge. It was as if being enlightened began to take a toll, things were infinite and never ending, there were beautiful things but also unfathomable horror in which my mind had never comprehended before, even the beauty was horrifying as if I reached my capacity for it. I began to wonder if my mind was breaking, reality felt so distant. I felt like I was bobbing in the ocean trying to keep my head above water. Just trying to stay grounded. After spiraling and dwelling in hopelessness and despair for a while, I felt like the mushrooms started to kind of talk to me. They said that the vestibule in which I provided them (my body) was not prepared for them properly, my stomache was full of decaying flesh (I had chicken wings for diner with no fruit or veg) my mind was weak from such a severe lack of sleep, and my body was in distress from working throughout the day, smoking weed, and being in ketosis, (ketosis is a way you can make your body metabolism fuel differently). It told me that it tried to tell me to not take anymore and when I didn't listen to it, it got mad. Why would I invite what is normally a beautiful thing into my body when my body itself is not at its best? Anyway, to keep it short, the mushrooms told me to never force an experience again. If I take shrooms and nothing happens that I wanted to have happen, then let it be. The mushrooms don't want to play. Forcing it and making it happen when your not really feeling it is a great way to have a bad fucking time man.
I learned so much from this trip, I learned that things are just out of my control, I learned that my mind is not always the strongest, and I learned good and bad things come in waves, it gave me a huge appreciation for the reality we live in now, it gave me huge appreciation for my girlfriend and my brother. It helped me realize that also taking care of my body can also help the environment around me in ways I still.dont full understanding, but I know there is a connection.
Anyway, it was a bad trip but not as terrible as some others I've heard of. I did feel like my mind was going to break, and that my essence would be gone from this realm forever. I do believe if I was in a better state of mind and physically sound that I would of experi3nced ego death. However due to my lack of respect for the mushroom I was left to experience for hours all kinds of eldrich horrors and unfathomabley deep and scary realizations of our universe. Now that im sober I feel like it was a good bad trip. I learned something, I pulled information from this trip that can help me in my life. Also it gave me a greater respect for the mushroom and the secrets it holds.

SEASONAL JOB DESCRIPTION Position: Gate House Attendant Purpose of Position The Gate House Attendant is primarily responsible for point-of-sale transactions and customer service relations in the Riddle Point Park Gate House operation. Responsibilities and Duties 1. Welcome lake and park visitors. 2. Disseminate information to public. 3. Answer telephone and take messages. 4. Collect lake and park fees. 5. Issue daily and seasonal boat permits. 6. Perform daily park trash policing. 7. Maintain daily cleanliness of gate house, park restrooms, beach, and shelter house. 8. Open the Park by 8am and close by 8pm, including clearing out patrons prior to closing. 9. Assist Manager in lake debris removal and buoy placements. 10. May be called for emergency work at times. 11. This list of responsibilities and duties is not intended to be all-inclusive and may be expanded to include other duties and responsibilities that management may deem necessary from time to time. Skills- Personal Attributes- • Be honest, trustworthy and respectful. • Be flexible and dependable. • Demonstrate sound work ethics. • Deal with the public in a positive, courteous and professional manner. • Be able to perform in stressful situations. Physical Demands • Possess excellent customer relation skills. • Be able to operate a multi-key cash register. • Ability to read, write, and accurately count money and change. • Effective decision-making skills. • Effective verbal and listening communication skills. • Effective organizational skills with the ability to manage several tasks at the same time.
Moderate physical effort is expected in performing maintenance tasks, including frequent bending, stooping, pushing, pulling, and movement of extremities. Must be able to lift up to 50 pounds. Working Conditions/Hours • Performs duties in-doors and out-doors, and is exposed to dirt, dust, cleaning products, trash, lake sediment, insects and warm temperatures. • Must be able to work a flexible schedule which includes early morning/evening hours and weekends, April thru October. Salary The Lake Lemon Conservancy District does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, ancestry, marital status, sex, national origin, religion, age, sexual orientation, and handicapped status in the employment or the provision of services. The Lake Lemon Conservancy District is a drug free workplace. A 30 day Probationary Period is required for this Position Contact Information Ross Carlson, Operations Supervisor 812-334-0233 [email protected] Lake Lemon Conservancy District 7599 N. Tunnel Road Unionville, IN 47468 • $12.00/Hour (Average 500 to 600 hours per year.) • Pay Commensurate with experience An Equal Opportunity Employer

(I don't know where else to post this too so l'm posting it here for now)
I met a beautiful woman, her hair was gold like the morning sun, her eyes as blue as the deep ocean, her voice was kind and warm, her skin was pale like snow, her smile was comforting, her husband was the complete opposite. When I accidently bumped into her in the grocery store I fell in love at first sight. When she asked me if I could grab something on a shelf that she was too short to reach, I agreed without hesitation. When I left the store, I saw her in the parking lot, struggling to carry the many bags of groceries to her small teal Morris Minor. I couldn’t bear to see her struggle so I approached her and offered her assistance. She accepted gratefully. “Thank you so much for your help! My name is Mary Carmine, by the way ” She said, her smile made my heart flutter and my stomach do backflips. “It’s my pleasure! My name is James Booker” I said while giving her a small bow. “It’s nice to have help like this while being pregnant…” She said, her smile a little less bright. I was shocked. Pregnant? But that would mean that she’s married… I felt my heart shatter but I didn’t let it show. After we said our goodbyes I went to my own car and drove off. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t get her out of my mind. I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking of her. I couldn’t get her off my mind so I decided to go for a walk. While on the walk, I passed a house where I heard a man yelling and a woman crying. Even though it wasn’t my business I was still curious and had nothing better to do, so I peeked through the curtains. What I saw made my blood boil. Mary was on the floor with her hands covering her face, blood running down her forehead and the man who I suspect was her husband, was standing over her with his fists clenched. I felt something inside me snap. I felt anger like I never felt before. I hid behind a bush when I heard him say he was going to the bar. Once I was sure he left I got up from my hiding spot and knocked on the door. She answered the door and was shocked to see me there. “W-What are you do-doing here…? H-How did yo-you find me…? Y-You really sh-shouldn’t be he-here!” She said in between sniffles. “I know we’ve just met, but I love you Mrs. Carmine! You deserve someone better than him! Someone who won’t hurt you!” I said, holding her hands close to my chest. “I-I shouldn’t…! I-I couldn’t possibly…!” She said, I could tell she felt the same way but she was scared. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. “If he w-were to find out then-” she said before I cut her off. “He doesn’t have to. Don’t be scared! I’ll make sure he doesn’t find out!” I said. She thought for a moment. “...Do you promise…?” she sniffled. “Yes!” I said, holding her hands tighter but not tight enough to hurt her. I made sure to never hurt her. She thought a bit more, I saw her beautiful, blue, doe eyes flick from my face to the picture of her and her husband hanging on the wall behind me, then back and forth between me and the picture before making her decision. She looked me in the eyes and nodded, I could tell she was fighting back more tears that were threatening to start falling. We sat on the couch for half an hour, talking about what lies to tell, and how we’d get away with it. When we heard his car pull up to the house she panicked but I reassured her everything would be fine. I left through the backdoor and went back home. We saw each other everyday without being caught. Her husband was big and bad but he wasn’t very bright. One night she requested to meet in the park after her husband passed out drunk. She was dressed in a lovely yellow dress but my attention was immediately drawn to her black eye. “James! I’m so sorry… My husband is starting to suspect something…! We can’t keep seeing each other!” She said she was crying. “Mary!! Your eye…! Did he…?” I said. My head began reeling when she nodded her head. I felt many emotions at once. Heartbreak, sadness, and anger. I wasn’t mad at her, no. I could never be mad at her. I was mad at the man keeping us apart. She was my love, my world, my life, she was my everything. I won’t let anyone take her from me. I knew what I had to do in order to keep us together. She was distraught, I assured her I’d make everything better. I told her to go home and go to sleep and everything would be okay in the morning. After we parted ways I went to a bar I knew her husband frequented. As expected, I saw him sitting at the bar alone, clearly drunk. I walked up to him and put on the friendliest smile I could muster up. I greeted him as though he was an old friend. We laughed and drank together, just being beside him made me sick. I loathed him. Before this, I had never touched a drop of alcohol before, vile stuff, but in the end it was all for her. When he got drunk enough, I promised to take him home. I put him into my car, drove him to a secluded spot in the forest near the park. I pulled him out of my car, he was passed out drunk, I laid him face down on the ground then I took the revolver I carried around for safety, out of my pocket and shot him in the back of his head. I was splattered in blood and brain matter but I didn’t care. I took the handkerchief out of my pocket and wiped the gun clean of any finger marks then tossed the gun into a nearby lake. I was planning on disposing of him for sometime now but now I had a reason. I searched him and found a pocket knife, one that army men carried around. I cut open his stomach and all his intestines, filled his stomach with rocks, then threw him and the knife into the water. I drove home in silence. When I got home I took a bath, then burned my clothes. The next day I went to see her. She invited me in and she cried to me that she was worried because her husband never returned home. “Y-You-” She stuttered. I had told her what I did. “Yes…” I said. I knew she didn’t want to believe it but she forced herself to. “Mary? Do you still love me?” I said. The way she looked at me when I told her what I had done made me keep my distance from her, I didn’t want to scare her anymore. “Yes! Of course I do…! I know that what you did was to keep me and my baby safe… Oh James, I’m so sorry you were dragged into this…!” She cried. “Don’t be sorry… Mary, listen to me very carefully. If the police ask you anything, don’t cover for me. Pretend you met me after your husband disappeared, Okay?” I said, wiping her tears. “Bu-But what i-if you beco-ome a suspect…?” She said between sniffles. “I won’t deny anything. I promise I’ll leave you enough money and support to raise your child, okay? I want you to be happy, even if it’s without me…” I said. “...Our child…” She said quietly. “Our-” I said before being interrupted by banging on the door. “Mary Carmine, you’re under arrest for suspicion of the murder of David Carmine” Mary let out a small scream but I shushed her. “Mary, I love you from here to eternity… Be safe my love” I said as I hugged her tight, making sure I didn’t squeeze against her stomach. “James-” She said before she cut herself off as I walked towards the door. She stood there, frozen with her mouth agape and tears streaming down her gorgeous face. I stepped out of the house and confessed everything I did. The officer cuffed me and put me in the back of the police car with neighbors and everyone watching. I noticed Mary in the crowd. Her teary face was easy to spot. I smiled at her and pointed to my cheeks, signaling her to keep smiling, and with that we started driving away. As we drove I saw fathers saying goodbye to their wives and children as they left for work, birds caring for their young, baby bottles drying on window sills, and children playing in their yards. I smiled at seeing all these happy families, hoping Mary and her unborn child could be able to live that way. Mary attended my court trial, I heard her gasp when I was sentenced to the death penalty. I just smiled at her. When the date for my execution came, I didn’t see her there. I don’t think they allowed her to watch. They put the noose around my neck and put the bag over my head. Suddenly, I felt the floor drop.