I’ve known this girl for a while now and we managed to go out three times in a week and it was going really wonderful. We both were super interested in each other and we get along so well. I travelled away for a week and we kept texting everyday, during which it was mostly her who was giving the positive signs. When I got back I noticed her suddenly becoming more distant and when I asked her out she made lame excuses. I panicked and confronted her to as why she’s not communicating if there’s anything wrong. She just replied that she’s feeling like “recharging” and she started being super dry and there’s basically like a wall between us now. She communicated that she wants time to figure out things. She told me before she’s fearful avoidant but only now did I start connecting the dots. I’m secure bordering anxious and maybe that triggered her further. I’m confused to the whole situation. It feels like we’re strangers now after having been really close and intimate. I didn’t expect her to be that avoidant because she opened up to me a few times and is really into physical touch. I want to sit with her and talk so I can understand her perspective and she can understand mine, and see if we can manage working through this by finding a common ground to meeting our needs. But until that happens I’m left with confusion to what is going on. When her avoidance is triggered is she losing interest or needing space or both? How long would this take, it’s already been like 10 days? If this is how she would act when she becomes attached, what happens when she’s mad at me lol? Problem is she works in the same company as I do and there’s an upcoming dinner in two days that we’re both attending, how am I supposed to act when I see her? Haven’t seen her since the day I travelled more than two weeks ago, it would feel so awkward and painful to act like strangers now. Do I go say hi and talk to her? Do I ask her how much time she needs? I’m so confused. Please don’t start shit talking avoidants, I’d rather give this a chance so I don’t regret ending this too early on later.

Hi there, I’m on a 10-day solo trip in a rainy, gorgeous England (from California, USA) and thought I’d leave reviews about some of the products I’ve brought. I obsessed over all the product reviews here before my trip (well, all the time really - when I’m not traveling, I’m thinking about traveling), and want to “pay it forward.”

1. Palette by Pak - I used to use contact lens cases but was getting annoyed with having more than one case and tiny capacity and all else. I bought this and LOVE it. The capacity for my particular skin care is perfect for a 10-day trip. I put in Make Up Forever make up remover, Lancôme foaming cleanser, Biossance eye cream, tretinoin, and Estée Lauder Idealist (absolute best for reducing appearance of pores on me). I have a small container of Biossance face lotion. Am considering getting a second Palette for face cream and hair goop because it’s just so convenient and keeps me from overpacking on toiletries (my travel nemesis). Currently I have a couple of small containers for hair goop, in addition to other small containers for other face/body/hair crap.
   
2. Stasher half-gallon bag for toiletries. I have an embarrassing number of toiletry bags and this one is the best. I like it better than a ziplock or a Dopp kit. I know it’s bigger than a quart-size but I haven’t had any issues with airport security. I don’t pack it to capacity - the taller size allows the Palette to fit. I might run into an agent who has issues with the larger size bag. I also pack regular quart-size baggies for s snacks and such so can transfer if needed. I like getting things in and out of the Stasher bag and it’s just more handy and sturdy for bathrooms, tossing in a suitcase, shoving in my backpack, etc. I have a smaller version for my makeup and it’s now my favorite makeup bag.
   
3. Columbia Carson’s Pass Interchange Jacket - waterproof, wind resistant, looks like a disco ball on the inside, and it’s two jackets in one! The length is perfect on me (I’m 5’6”) - and for the first time in all my Spring-weather travels anywhere; I’m warm! Highly recommended.
   
4. Uniqlo Heat-tech base layer leggings (the thinner ones) - great under leggings for warmth without bulk, great as sleepwear, easy to wash in a sink and air dries in a few hours. Wish I had gotten the long-sleeve too as well.
   
5. Corkcicle 12 ounce stainless steel mug - found this on clearance for $7 at Nordstrom Rack the day before I left and - on a panic “whim” - packed it. I’ve used this everyday for tea, coffee, wine, packet soup (like miso), water. It’s been really nice - Compared to the water bottle I brought and really wish I hadn’t; it takes up space and is unnecessary cause I could have just bought a bottle here and refilled it endlessly. They have a brand called One sold in aluminum bottles.
   
6. Lululemon Bigger Everyday bag - I have a smaller one that I use a lot at home as my purse. I didn’t pack it (again with the panic “whims” on the packing!). Just thought I’d manage with my backpack. I don’t want to (or need to) carry my backpack everywhere). I bought one here and opted for the bigger version for the dual zip main compartment and to fit my phone when it’s attached to a battery. Never traveling without this bag again. I wear it around my back and under my coat when I’m out and about, wear it in front when I don’t have my coat on, wear it on my hip at restaurants - it’s brilliant. Long live the fanny pack.
   
7. Crochet people: I have my project I started for this trip (Through the Clouds shawl, Oink Nimbus fingering weight yarn, 3.5 mm hook) and then visited some LYS for Cotswolds wool. There are some fantastic handspun yarns from local sheep and alpaca! Anyway, I brought a 5mm hook cause I thought maybe I’d start another project - and I’m making an ear warmer with “seaweed-eating sheep” wool I found in a lovely shop called Fibreworks in Chipping Norton! Anyway that was a silly addition that turned out to be nice. YMMV
   

Other notes about my trip: staying in hotels, proper B&Bs. (Available in-room drinkware has ranged from mugs to teeny espresso cups so I really like having that corkcicle mug). Using a Briggs & Riley 22” roller bag and Briggs and Riley delve backpack - love the roller bag; mixed feelings on the backpack. Visiting London and the Cotswolds this trip.
Things I wish I had left behind: water bottle; that 3rd sweate4th pair of pants/4th pair of socks/sneakers (have been wearing my Blundstones everywhere because of the rain - basically only wore the sneakers in airport - should have just brought a second set of insoles instead); and Kindle (have iPad and am listening to audiobooks while walking or crocheting).
That’s all for now. Happy Travels!

I sent her a video of my daughter playing and becoming a little fussy. Then she accused me of child abuse because "you let your daughter cry and don't comfort her". Mind you the video was 30 seconds long. Afterwards she texted me that she hopes she screams all night and keeps us awake. I called her and screamed at her to go f*ck herself and she will never see me again as loud as I could (my wife said she never heard me scream like that in 10 years).
I f*cking hope she dies old and alone. You accuse me of child abuse?? You were angry for three days when I forgot my hat at school!
F*ck you you rotten piece of s.

So I knew this guy first week of Feb. then nawala siya for a bit cause nabusy siya something then he messaged me last 10 days ago. All is well we had coffee, we had lunch, movie outside and nag overnight kami and seggs pero after that naging cold na siya althought naguusap pa naman but not the same as before. I want to message him if nagsisisi ba siya sa nangyari.

How can one rent a car in Amman for a long term period (3 months)? A friend is working at one of the universities on Tariq il Matar and is sick of the uni bus... wants to rent a car long term for like 10-15 jd a day.

Hi, just wanted to check if I got my math right, my nearby drugstore has "LYUGOL 10 mg / g solution, 25 ml", meaning a 25ml bottle contains 250mg of iodine. Therefor to get a dose of of 50mg Iodine I would be taking 1/5 of the bottle daily? So the bottle would last like 5 days?...
Just to be sure I'm not overdoing it. )

Why? Because I was underinvested headed into the year (70-80% cash) after hearing nearly every "expert" talk about how awful the first part of the year was.
And then I tried buying things and some worked out, and some did not (example: I owned a huge portion of TITN which fell tremendously after earnings)... I had a stock liked ARHS which did amazing.. until earnings and I am now a loser in it. It appears a LOT of stocks are constantly being "reshuffled" and becomes very difficult to just "Buy and hold" stocks when you invest a lot in them and then they are back to 0 or even wrose. When the market fell again, I went primarily to cash as "protection" again listening to experts.
but most recently I've been about 55-60% invested and done relatively similar to the NASDAQ.. but with that cash position at 40% it's still impossible to "Beat" the indicies.
It seems like when the stock market is in a rally, it's the "growth/risky" stocks that do the best going up 8-10% sometimes even in a day! I am not in those stocks...
Luckily I am in a bunch of semi's now but I'm really questioning why I even spend 2-3 hours a day even doing this haha.
Another note is I owned WAYY too many stocks.. I am trying my best to narrow it down to only 25-30 moving forward. not more than that which I had gulp

• My steam profile: https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198063019123
• My steam rep: https://steamrep.com/profiles/76561198063019123
• Payment methods: TF keys, PayPal
• Buyer goes first, no exceptions
• We need to be friends for 30 days before we can trade (according to Steam Trading Policies for new friends)
• Please send me a friend request if you want to reserve any item but please do not try to scam because I will check your profile before adding and ignore if it is a private or a new profile or if your steam rep is low

​

Hero	Item Name	Price	Quantity	Available
Alchemist	Darkbrew's Transgression	2.5$ / 1 TF key	1	1
Oracle	Transcendent Path	2.5$ / 1 TF key	1	0 (Reserved)
Brewmaster	The Wilding Tiger	2.5$ / 1 TF key	1	0 (Reserved)
Doom	Dawn of a Darkness Foretold	2.5$ / 1 TF key	1	1
Night Stalker	Feasts of Forever	2.5$ / 1 TF key	1	1
Phantom Assassin	Darkfeather Factioneer	2.5$ / 1 TF key	1	0 (Reserved)
Ogre Magi	Freeboot Fortunes	2.5$ / 1 TF key	1	1
Vengeful Spirit	Acrimonies of Obsession	2.5$ / 1 TF key	1	0 (Reserved)
Techies	War Rig Eradicators	2.5$ / 1 TF key	1	1
Treant Protector (Rare)	Grudges of the Gallows Tree	10$ / 4 TF key	1	1
Void Spirit (Very Rare)	Sublime Equilibrium	20$ / 8 TF key	1	1

Hi! I have a 7month old maltese-mini schanuzer boy. He is pretty energetic so needs regular stimulation (mental but also physical). I am his sole owner and care taker, we live alone, I have a full time demanding job but can combine with wfh a lot.
He is still eating 3 times a day because he likes it and he is not a big eater as is, so i try to get him eating whenever i can. He doesnt eat a lot in one sitting. He also has very good digestion-needs to poop 20-30mins after eating. We have a backyard where he pees but refuses to poop even if we are out there for hours (potty training rly stuck), he will just whine to go ‘outside’ outside.
This is where it gets tricky for me. How do i combine eating and pooping 3 times a day with regular walks AND waiting 2 whole hours after eating before walking? Oh, and apparently he is not supposed to eat 30min AFTER a walk either. All that on top of training +everyday grooming +my job +selfcare +everythingeverywhereallatonce :D
Right now we do (roughly):
-wake up around 6am, pee in the backyard, get back in to shower etc while he naps, around 8 breakfast and then a 20min walk for pooping (low intensity, barely a walk). Then napping and chilling
-in the afternoon i take him on a long proper walk, somewhere around 60-90minutes, but at a leisurely pace. I feed him around 2. Then i try waiting as long as possible before taking him out but usually he is already nervous to go out so we dont make it longer than 45mins. As the weather gets nicer I plan to combine playing in the yard with a shorter walk. We train on our walk (plus weakly class). Sometimes i take him out first and then we eat, but that means i need to basically turn right back around and take him out again. And he needs some time and movement to get things moving so the latter scenario would mean another mini walk right after the first (he is already tired). After the walk/play/training he chills and naps again, and also plays by himself a bit
-dinner around 6-6.30 pm and then around 7 a poop walk, the same as in the morning. Then napping untill bed time at 10 when we take a pre-bedtime pee and go to sleep
So my question is, how much should i stick to the 2hours after eating rule? In the morning especially it is almost impossible when i have to go to work (if i feed him after going out he will have to hold it for 5-6h untill i get home which seems a bit cruel). And morning/evening walk is rly just taking him potty. (I even carry him for the first part). The main afternoon walk is what worries me most, hence i do tend to feed him after the walk (which makes it even more impossible to wait after dinner).
Any advice on how to combine all this?
Thanks!

Age - 31
Sex - M
Height - 6ft
Weight - 150lb
Race - White
Duration of complaint - 4-5 days.
Location - On Tuesday I woke up, and instantly the room started spinning, to the point I had to close my eyes for a whole 1-2 minutes. That day was the worst of it, it was like seemingly turning my head certain directions, up or down, up and to the right/left, down to the right/left, etc, suddenly or sometimes not even suddenly, I'd just casually turn my head and I'd get dizzy to the point where I had to sit down. Every day since then, it's been lessening in effect, to the point where today it did not occur once at work that I know of, only literally one time when I got home and sat down in my chair. Extremely mild compared to the beginning, lasting less than two seconds and virtually no discomfort after. My coworkers told me it could be an 'inner ear infection', but my ears feel normal. For me it's my neck, I feel like I pinched some kind of weird nerve in my neck and that's what's causing it. Since the first day, if I turn my head upwards and slightly to the right, I can feel a knot in my neck and doing just that can almost instantly trigger the dizzyness, as well as looking down and to the left slightly which also seems to put some strain on that same spot.
Any existing relevant medical issues - None, high blood pressure, but that's mostly due to my medications.
Current medications - Suboxone, 8yrs or so. 8-12mg a day right now. Adderall since I was a little kid, I've taken it on and off throughout my life, for the last two or three years I've been taking it again for work, it just really helps with my motivation and patience dealing with customers, and just generally being more effective overall. 20mg a day right now. I don't drink any alcohol anymore, I mean, yeah I'll have a couple beers for special occasions with family or friends, but these are like once a year type situations. I do smoke cigarettes, trying to quit, tried the Hyde thing but not a fan. I smoke weed recreationally and have since I was 16 or 17, I smoke every day, but probably a lot less than most people I would imagine. All of these are completely normal and not out of the ordinary for me, no major change has happened with my medications in a long time.
Include a photo if relevant - N/A
I would appreciate any advice or information you guys can provide. A bit of background, according to my phone on average I walk (or skateboard and walk) 8-10 miles on average 5 days a week, 4 miles to work and 4 miles home, while going to the grocery store and other errands in between, all on foot. With my schedule, making it to the local store before they close can be troublesome because of the fact that I have to walk, so having to go the extra 2 miles to the urgent care, just to have to sit there for 45 minutes to several hours, it's a lot for me. It's also not only me I have to take care of as far as going to the store every night, so that's another problem. I would love to hear what you guys have to say, and if the general consensus is this is something more serious and I need to get checked, I'll go to urgent care tomorrow, it's my day off.

i know this probably gets asked a lot so i apologise!! but i lost my other boy very suddenly this time last year and ever since ive become a bit of a hypochondriac 😅😅
ive had sebastian for ~6 years, got him when he was roughly 3 from a friend of a friend who couldnt look after him anymore. he has always been a great eater and never refused a meal with me once. he eats once every 10 days. normal shed schedule, very active, healthy weight. but this is his 4th rat thats he's refused!! he eats thawed. this morning i heated it with a hairdryer and brained it (for the first time 🤢) and he sniffed it and then moved away. last time i tried to feed him, 10 days ago, he striked and began eating like normal, but 30 seconds later spat out the head and went back into his hide.
i know they lose their appetite around this time of year but can anyone tell me if thats what this is or if i should be concerned? he seems completely fine in every other regard. drinking, sleeping, and handling like normal - no physical changes. ive checked his husbandry over and over again and everything seems normal. i'm just concerned that its been 40 days since he last ate when normally the most he'll go is 10. and again, perhaps i am just being a hypochondriac for no reason but his 'brother' (same clutch) died very randomly around this time - fine one day, gone the next, so i worry quite a bit now and monitor him very closely
any help or comments is appreciated!

I’m on day 12 or 13 also trying to go off kratom and the same time. Finally broke down and took 150mg of pheni and a few grams of kratom with a melatonin but i still just can’t sleep. Every time it feels like I’m falling asleep my head twitches and it won’t let me sleep. Other than that my only real symptoms are super rough anxiety that seems to come in waves and now just this pure mental exhaustion. I’ve slept maybe 5-10 hours max in the last 10 days

1. Define your target audience: Consider factors like age, gender, location, interests, and behaviors. Example: A fitness app targets women aged 18-35 interested in health and wellness.
2. Create audience personas: Develop fictional profiles representing your ideal customers. Example: "Mike, a 28-year-old tech enthusiast looking for the latest gadgets."
3. Use Facebook's targeting options: Leverage demographic, interest, and behavioral targeting. Example: Target users interested in photography and travel for a camera backpack.
4. Test different audience segments: Run ads targeting various segments to identify high-performing ones.
5. Utilize Custom Audiences: Target existing customers, website visitors, or email subscribers.
6. Use Lookalike Audiences: Reach users similar to your existing customers or high-value prospects.
7. Exclude irrelevant audiences: Exclude users who have already converted or are not relevant to your offer.
8. Research competitors: Analyze competitors' ads and audiences to identify potential segments.
9. Monitor audience overlap: Avoid targeting the same users across multiple ad sets by adjusting targeting.
10. Set clear campaign objectives: Choose objectives like conversions, traffic, or engagement, depending on your goals.
11. Test different ad placements: Experiment with placements like News Feed, Instagram Feed, Stories, and Messenger.
12. Use Facebook Pixel or Conversions API: Track conversions and optimize campaigns based on this data.
13. Monitor ad frequency: Avoid overexposing your ads to the same audience, causing ad fatigue.
14. Optimize for the right conversion event: Choose the event that represents your campaign goal, such as purchases or leads.
15. Test bidding strategies: Experiment with the lowest cost, cost cap, and bid cap to find the best strategy.
16. Test multiple ad creatives and copy variations: Continuously test and optimize ad creatives and copy.
17. Use automated rules: Pause, start, or adjust campaigns based on specific conditions, such as CPA or ROAS thresholds.
18. Optimize ad delivery: Use Facebook's ad delivery optimization options to improve performance.
19. Experiment with ad formats and lengths: Test images, videos, and carousels, as well as different ad copy and video lengths.
20. Monitor and adjust budgets: Regularly review ad spending and adjust budgets to maximize campaign value.
21. Use ad scheduling: Run ads during specific hours or days when your audience is more likely to engage.
22. Keep headlines short and sweet: Limit headlines to 5-7 words for easy readability. Example: "50% Off Gourmet Coffee!"
23. Use numbers and symbols in headlines: Make headlines stand out with numbers and symbols. Example: "Lose 10 Pounds in 30 Days!"
24. Address pain points in headlines: Offer a solution to your audience's problems. Example: "Struggling with Acne? Try Our Serum!"
25. Create urgency in headlines: Encourage immediate action with phrases like "Limited Time Offer." Example: "Flash Sale: 3 Hours Only!"
26. Ask questions in headlines: Engage users with thought-provoking questions. Example: "Want Glowing Skin This Summer?"
27. Use powerful words in headlines: Evoke emotion with words like "amazing" or "exclusive." Example: "Unlock Incredible Fitness Results!"
28. Leverage social proof in headlines: Mention customer testimonials or reviews. Example: "Trusted by 10,000+ Professionals!"
29. Highlight benefits in headlines: Communicate product or service benefits. Example: "Stream Movies & Shows Anywhere!"
30. Test different headlines: Continuously test and optimize headlines to improve performance.
31. Keep ad copy concise: Use short sentences and bullet points for easy readability.
32. Use a conversational tone: Make your ad copy relatable and engaging by using everyday language.
33. Focus on benefits in ad copy: Highlight the unique selling points of your product or service. Example: "Our meal delivery service saves you time and provides healthy, delicious meals."
34. Include a clear call-to-action (CTA): Use phrases like "Shop Now," "Learn More," or "Sign Up" to prompt user action.
35. Use social proof in ad copy: Incorporate customer testimonials, ratings, or success stories.
36. Address potential objections: Ease user concerns with guarantees or risk-free trials. Example: "Try our software with a 14-day free trial."
37. Test different ad copy variations: Continuously optimize and improve performance through testing.
38. Use high-quality images: Ensure your images represent your product or service effectively and look professional.
39. Create short, engaging videos: Showcase product benefits, customer testimonials, or behind-the-scenes looks.
40. Experiment with ad formats: Test single images, carousels, slideshows, and video ads to find the best format.
41. Use eye-catching colors and design elements: Make your ad stand out in users' News Feeds with attention-grabbing visuals.
42. Test different ad creatives: Regularly test and optimize ad creatives to improve performance.
43. Utilize tools like AdCreative.ai: Generate ad copy ideas and inspiration with AI-powered tools.
44. Use Facebook's Audience Insights: Analyze your target audience's demographics, interests, and behaviors.
45. Leverage third-party tools like AdEspresso and Qwaya: Manage, optimize, and analyze your Facebook ad campaigns with these tools.
46. Implement tracking tools like Google Analytics: Monitor website traffic, conversions, and user behavior from your Facebook ads.
47. Use A/B testing: Experiment with ad elements such as headlines, ad copy, images, and targeting options to find the best-performing combinations.
48. Review ad performance metrics: Analyze click-through rate (CTR), cost per click (CPC), and return on ad spend (ROAS) to measure campaign success and identify areas for improvement.
49. Stay up-to-date with Facebook's ad policies: Ensure your ads remain compliant and effective by following best practices and algorithm updates.
50. Engage with your audience: Respond to comments and messages on your ads to foster relationships and improve brand perception.

By following these 50 detailed tips and examples, beginners can create effective Facebook ads from scratch. Continuously test, analyze, and optimize your campaigns to improve performance over time.

Best tools for Facebook Advertising

Here's a list of some of the best tools to help you with Facebook advertising:

1. AdCreative.ai:An AI-powered tool that generates ad copy ideas and inspiration, helping you craft compelling ad headlines and text.
2. Facebook Ads Manager: The built-in platform for managing and creating Facebook ads, with various targeting options, performance tracking, and ad scheduling.
3. Facebook Pixel: A code snippet that tracks user actions on your website, allowing you to optimize your ads, build targeted audiences, and measure the effectiveness of your campaigns.
4. Facebook Analytics: Provides in-depth insights into your ad performance, user demographics, and behaviors, helping you optimize your campaigns.
5. Facebook Audience Insights: A powerful tool that helps you better understand your target audience by providing detailed information about their interests, behaviors, and demographics.
6. AdEspresso: A comprehensive tool for managing, optimizing, and analyzing your Facebook ad campaigns. AdEspresso offers A/B testing, automated rules, and in-depth reporting.
7. Qwaya: A Facebook ad management tool with features like ad scheduling, campaign management, performance reporting, and A/B testing.
8. Canva: A user-friendly graphic design tool that helps you create eye-catching ad creatives, such as images, videos, and GIFs, without requiring professional design skills.
9. Google Analytics: A web analytics tool that tracks website traffic, conversions, and user behavior from your Facebook ads, providing valuable insights for campaign optimization.
10. Hootsuite Ads: A social media advertising tool that simplifies the process of creating, managing, and optimizing Facebook ad campaigns.
11. Connectio: Offers a suite of Facebook ad tools, including ConnectAudience (for audience targeting), ConnectRetarget (for retargeting campaigns), and ConnectExplore (for interest targeting).
12. Madgicx: An AI-driven Facebook advertising platform that automates the entire ad lifecycle, including ad creation, budget allocation, targeting, and optimization.
13. Revealbot: A Facebook ad automation tool that helps you manage campaigns with automated rules, performance monitoring, and reporting.
14. Driftrock: A platform that syncs your CRM data with Facebook Custom Audiences, allowing you to create highly targeted ads based on your customer data.

These tools can help you create, manage, and optimize your Facebook ad campaigns, ensuring better targeting, improved ad creatives, and more effective use of your advertising budget. Choose the tools that best fit your needs and budget, and integrate them into your Facebook advertising strategy.

Golden Grime
A warm blaze sparked in the depth of a clouded heart; it provided a feeling that has been long lost. The warmth sizzled, seeking its way through the chaos; it reached out to where it was needed the most. This feeling took Marie by surprise, a forgotten knowledge of some sorts remembered finally by her body, now fully engraved in her mind. [He always always made sure to take care of me. Even after his death, what did I ever do to deserve him?] The smile that captured William’s heart came back to be drawn on Marie’s face. This time however, it blossomed by the warmth she was feeling. Like the rays of the sun, it broke through William’s defences. William couldn’t help but think that Wills should have been the one to witness this not him. He was unworthy, incomplete, he was not Wills, he will never be.
“I am assuming you are dying to already start with a tour through the memories, aren’t you?” “I wonder what gave it away” She noted sarcastically while rolling her eyes with a faint chuckle. Marie was breaking free from what chained her. She was being liberated. For some reason, William couldn’t help but feel his heart sting, he cursed Wills with all of his will. How could he? How could he subject such a pure lovely soul to something like this? William knew that Wills didn’t provide him with the full story but there was nothing that William would know that would justify what he did, especially since he knows how much both of them cared about Marie. It was simply illogical. Yet, it was human nature to be illogical, as much as he despised admitting it, he wasn’t a human. He was a program; he had a task and he had to do it with outmost efficiency. “Shall we start then?” asked William. Marie replied by nodding.
“Now there are two options that Wills have left for you. Well, not an option more of a way to view these memories. The first way is to go with the memories you favour till we finished all of them, or we go with the path he intended us to view these memories. He picked a chronological order to these events.” William extended his hands acting as a balance, raising a hand or the other while talking. Just like Wills, William loved to use a lot of gestures. Marie didn’t take long to decide, she had already made up her mind. “I will follow the route that Wills picked up, so will we start from the party?” “No.” “You said he was following the chronological order though?” “Well, here is the thing. That was the first time YOU saw Wills. Wills had seen you way before that. This is one of the things that Wills isn’t proud of. His first memory is something- you know what? It will be best for you to see it yourself.” Marie wasn’t so sure how to feel about this. It makes sense that Wills might have caught a glance of her beforehand, considering how both of them attended the same University. But he never told her anything about that. Not a word.
“Alright….” Marie said with a lack of confidence, a sense of uncertainty. “How do we do this then? Do you like bring forth another ‘dimension’ or something? Or..?” “It isn’t that fancy sadly. You just enter me.” “Excuse me?” William coughed a bit, clearing his throat. “Let me rephrase that. Once you hold my hands, I will allow you to access the memories stored within me. As a form of gallery, you will find all of the other memories locked till you finish the first one.” “How many memories exactly are there though?” “Including the one you are about to enter, there are 11 memories.” “An odd number? That’s weird, Wills disliked them.” “Originally, or at least as far as my database knowledge extends, they were indeed only 10. Before he finished creating me though, he included this memory. The one he’s not so proud about. Maybe out of guilt, maybe out of sympathy or coming clean. I don’t know what he was thinking honestly.” “Out of guilt? What could Wills have possibly done to make him feel like so?”
William bit his lips; he couldn’t let the words break through. One of the rules he was bound by is to never inform Marie of a memory she didn’t see. “You’ll have to figure that out by yourself.” Marie’s worries gradually grew every second. Being able to hold herself no more, without a prior warning, William found his hands being held by Marie. Automatically, she was transported in some form of theatre. She sat in a two-handed sofa which took her body’s shape as much as turned. Next to her laid a normal t.v. remote with her field of vision being covered with a large dark screen. Despite the screen looking like a t.v. the screen was covered with typical red theatre curtains. [That’s so Wills like, he loved merging between the new joys of modern society and the ancient aspects of our world. He had been crazy for too long about old stuff. That was a bit charming in its own way you have to admit.] Marie thought to herself while pleasantly smiling. She had been doing that a lot lately, it seemed that she never managed to bottle down the good memories that Wills gave her when they were together. This made her even more worried, what possibly could have Wills done to make him regret something? Could he have cheated on her? She pushed that thought down as deep as she could, he wasn’t that type of man to begin with, besides that thought made her body tear up from the inside. Just like a spike being slowly drilled into the eyes of a tortured war prisoner, it was tormenting. [Now Wills, let’s see what you were so ashamed off.] She held the remote beside her and pressed the power on key. A couple of videos appeared on the television, as the curtains slid to the sides. The videos were captioned with Greek letters starting from Alpha till Kappa. Weirdly enough, the first memory and the 11th while it should have been named Lambda -following the theme of these letters- it was instead named Omega. Exactly as William have mentioned before, all of the memories had a visible lock and chains icon on them except Omega. She navigated to the memory then pressed the play button.
That was the last time Marie was in her body, the next time she opened her eyes, she saw herself striding with confidence through a campus. A campus she was accustomed with quite well, judging by the appearance of her surrounding, it must have been their university. It was freshmen year no doubt since the garden stretched in the horizon contained the flowers she adored -they were later replaced with white lilies in second year-. She tried to move this new point of view but with no use. She was stuck in place, mesmerised with the view in front of her. Her eyes followed her body through the campus till she disappeared behind a building. She felt a fidgeting in her hands, but the body refused to look at it. It was stuck in place; it didn’t yield to any of her demands. She was a spectator, a powerless one, and nothing more. {She is…. she is…I can’t describe her in words. I am speechless. -I think I am in love.} Recited the voice in her ears. It was loud, way louder than it should ever be. Just like her own thoughts, this sound rang right up in her mind. Thoughts, these were the thoughts of the person Marie was impersonating. Instantly, Marie recognised the voice as that of Wills. She was spectating Wills, rather she was Wills. She saw, felt, thought and experienced this memory through Wills’s body. She wasn’t sure what to make out of this new information. Although she understood why Wills came to this idea -to allow her to experience the memories first hand-, was it necessary? Should she quit? How can she even quit? Is she trapped here- “I don’t a stand chance with her, do I? Uh, don’t even think about going up to her.” {You know that you never get a chance with them. Don’t you remember what happened the last 20 times before her? You were always rejected and will always be. You know this is some kind of drug to you. You NEED to be emotionally dependent to function. You need someone to obsess over just so you can have things going. We ARE NOT going through that same shit all over again. We changed, didn’t we?} There was no reply. Wills didn’t think nor speak. He just stood there. Unsure of what to do next, he no longer wanted to be who he used to be. He is no longer going to be HIM. Marie stood frozen. Now, THAT she didn’t expect. What exactly is happening here? Why did Wills have his mouth sealed about any of this? Obsession? 20 people before her? Wills couldn’t function without having someone he is emotionally connected with? This was worrying. How much did she not know about Wills? A sudden jerk of emotions was pushed on Marie, everyone kept secrets sure, but was the man she loved, not really who he seemed to be? He once told her he had a lot of crushes before her; however, he never mentioned them being 20. Marie wished she had asked William about how to exit a memory. Why did Wills want to share something like that with her? Why now? Why after his death? No, there was no reason for her to delve so deep into this. He likes her, he might not have been the most confident man. There is nothing wrong with that. We all grow. So, what if he had that many people he was attracted to before her? He still chose her, and she was the first one to accept him.
[It might have started out as a harmful demeaner, but he changed. I changed him. I’m sure.] She kept echoing these words in her mind. Trying to turn off the warnings that were setting off in her brain. She trusted Wills, who he was before she met him didn’t matter. He changed, as any human did. We all change.
Thanks to how deep in thought she was, Marie missed out that the scenery before her eyes had completely changed. Now, Wills was scrolling through his phone. However, he wasn’t doing it leisurely, quite the opposite. As a predator sweeping down to capture its prey beneath its unforgiving sharp claws. Oh, what a predator he was, it didn’t take him more than a few minutes to have already located her Facebook page. It wasn’t that difficult really, all he had to do was see which account had her name while being in the common friends’ accounts. What made it even easier for him was how her account and her close friends’ accounts weren’t private. Disappointment doomed Wills when he found out that Marie was more conservative than he originally thought. Her page didn’t include anything about Marie nor her life, it was rather more of a meme hub as kids like calling it these days. From her friends and who she follows he was able to write down some notes about what she seemed to be interested in and who he might look out for. Most, if not all, of her friends were females. {That’s wonderful. We got quite a catch on our hands this time. Right? That’s what you want to tell yourself, isn’t it? Didn’t we just promise ourselves that we won’t be returning to who we were? Wills, we are not a lost cause yet. Please stop what you are doing.} It wasn’t a shocker when Wills didn’t listen. He kept indulging in this sort of addiction. Next, he managed to obtain the records of her family members. Her father, her sister Allison but he couldn’t find her mother, rather he wasn’t sure what to look for. Her sister on the other hand was easier to track. All it took Wills was mere seconds and he already had the whole life of Allison figured out. He knew which University she went to, what she graduated from, when did she graduate, what she is currently doing, where are Marie and Allison originated from, what kind of family friends they had and her hobbies -these will later come in handy when he tries to befriend her-. It took him an hour at most, and Wills managed to gather all the data he might ever need about Marie. There were somethings he still didn’t know, thanks to the air of mystery she had around herself, but he will figure them out soon. All he had to do was wait, soon everything will fall in its place.
How far can someone fall in the eyes of their lover? Marie Harris was now eye-to-eye with this problematic question. The thought of her changing Wills still lingered in her head, ringing stronger, as the image of the man she once loved cracked into pits; now replaced with a far more daunting image. An image of a stalker, an image of someone who manipulated her throughout their relationship. Suddenly every encounter they have ever had felt forced. The common things they once did together as a symbol of love turned out to be nothing more than a fabricated lie that was made to make her intoxicated with him more than she was. Every inch of Marie leaped into denying what she was seeing but how could she? She saw the truth from the eyes of her manipulator, from the very eyes of the man who lied to her face on numerous occasions without batting an eye. Marie saw red. Everything from beginning to end was a façade; one created to fool her and fool her it did. She protested on the continuation of this memory, she tried to snap out of the trace she was placed in; however, just like a broken record, she couldn’t go out till the end. She had to witness all the atrocities that were done by the man she once adored.
The next few parts were quicker paced. Sudden snapshots of how Wills trailed her throughout her day. How he figured out where she likes to drink her coffee, where she liked to eat, where she resided and everything that he could possibly collect about her. He followed her day and night, occasionally studying in between when he was sure that she was doing nothing -he was somewhat chained by the public appearances he still upheld-. He was a phantom of some sorts, ever only sleeping scarcely when he was sure Marie was “safe”. Naps spread throughout the day, timed perfectly with her schedule. During the night, he watched her sleep from a tree that he regularly climbed during their relationship. It was in this same tree that he sneaked into her room countless nights when they were together. This tree held a place in Marie’s heart and with this new revelation, it was eternally stained. How can a person that was once so beautiful become so deceitful? Marie closed her eyes, no longer wanting to see what was happening in front of her. She should have known, she should have already figured it out; no matter what she did, it was ineffective. As some form of torture, she had been forced to oversee all the actions Wills did. Every moment just fuelled her newfound ever-growing hate towards Wills.
Her mind plead to her, reminding her that Wills still changed after all but then she snapped. What if he changed? Would that ever change what he did behind her back? Would it ever recover the joys of the moments that were now spoiled? Would it help in mending the plagued heart she now possessed? No, it wasn’t enough, and it will never be. Wills was a disgusting human, even if he changed, it doesn’t somehow just erase the mistakes of his past. He had to be held accountable, and this was his way of doing it. As some sort of grand reveal that showcases his flaws.
“I HATE YOU WILLS CARTER. I FUCKING HATE YOU!” Yelled Marie on top of her lungs. She screamed and repeated those words as much as she could. In that moment, it was finally done. She blacked out to find herself back where she was seated with the curtains closing on the large t.v. Once she regained control of her body, she let anger overtake her. Letting her rage blind, her, she let out all this pent-up feelings on the chair she was sitting on. Fully assaulted, the chair bent in, taking her abuse till the storm brewing inside her calmed down.
They warned her, they always did. He wasn’t on her level, they said. He wasn’t worthy of her, they whispered. She was out of his league, they announced. How could a freak like him get her? Some refuted. Maybe it was jealousy, maybe it was disgust. A man never needed a reason to hate his brethren, did he? The lack of reason was what made things shambles for those involved. And oh, did she lack reason, how could she? How could she ever trust him? Didn’t she know? Didn’t she understand? He was a lie. He was a façade. A mask. He was never the man that was supposed to be on her level. Heck, even he didn’t understand how he “scored” her, as they often said. He wasn’t enough -he will NEVER be. No, he CAN’T be-. May the lord have mercy on the archivist.