Owl house fanfic

To the best of my knowledge I have never wanted to live. I remember trying to kill myself as a child and that feeling never went away, even though as a bipolar person with suspected audhd (confirmed adhd) I am defying all odds. I'm relatively successful, I'm married, a couple close friends and I'm relatively close with my family... but I feel like all of these things are a prison.
I'm in debt, enough to really inhibit any meaningful savings.
I love my spouse, or at least who they pretended to be before we got married. But truth be told I don't even think they like me, let alone love me. I can't afford to leave them or live on my own. Besides, even though I am holding a job, I am still disabled and I question my ability to live independently.
I can't move home...it would be a death sentence as my aging narcissist (diagnosed) father loses his faculties. Fun fact, narcissism and aging do not mix. And I know I'd be forced to assist with caring for him.
I have very few friends and most of them are leaving the city so I'll probably lose them too.
Media is the only thing that brings me comfort and I've started using shows to keep me going. I love cartoons for instance. Steven universe kept me going for a few years. It ended. Then star versus the forces of evil. Ended. Now the owl house is ending and even though I said I would cross everything off my list I'm wondering if I should just end it early instead of waiting for my 30th birthday.
Cause I don't know how much longer I can live like this. 18 years of therapy (therapy twice a week now), countless medications later and I'm still just fucking tolerating my life. I wake up and I feel resentment. I lie awake at night swelling with regret for every failed attempt and all I have to keep me trucking on is a fucking screen. And it was never an if I'll do it. I will. It's just when. Call me ungrateful but I just can't keep doing this.

For some reason I’m now afraid of an owl flying and braking into our house by the window. Idk why, but I just suddenly imaged that and got terrified.. Just look at a great horned owl. Just imagine that at night 😟

Fast forward to the present March 30th. We drive up to the mountain again to meet some friends and as soon as we arrive I hear this clunking sound from underneath the car and rendered the car undrivable due to the drive and reverse no longer working and a grinding sound when shifted to park. We got out of the car to look and see if I could see anything under the hood. That’s when my girlfriend froze and said “shhh do you hear that?” I stopped and heard what sounded like an owl but with a humans voice. It sounded like someone chanting, going “Ooooh Oooh”. That’s when we both said nope, got in our friends car and took off. And recently I’ve been getting this feeling that I can’t describe but it feels evil. It’s almost like the feeling of being very awake and feeling fear for what seems like no reason. And then lastnight I fell asleep and had this weird dream about a witch that came to me and someone else I didn’t recognize. The witch, demon or whatever it was then preformed these series of specific hand movements in order to perform some sort of curse. And the other person grabbed a stand up mirror and put it in front of her and we would wind up fighting it and I woke up. And now I’m suddenly sick throwing up immediately after I woke up from the dream. I don’t know if I’m crazy or saw too many movies or what. And on top of this we just found out that the apartment that we lived in at Little Rock Arkansas was completely destroyed by a tornado days prior from our move. Everything just seems suspicious and I typically don’t believe in witchcraft or magic but this is starting to change my mind. 

How different would the show be if Luz met belos or someone from the empires coven when she went through the portal? Would she have stayed and been yet another victim to belos plan? What would he do with the memory of her from all those years ago, or would it never have even happened because she would have never met Lilith? Would she have left?

This tournament sure was...something. In the 14 years that I have followed the NCAA Tournament I have never seen it get this crazy before. This was a complete 180 from last year's Tournament, where we only had Blue Bloods in the Final Four, and a blue blood champion. This year, it is not the case. We have CHAOS.
Now, let us take a look at the failures, and boy do I have a few words for some teams here...
Arizona Wildcats - For the third year in a row, we have a 15 over 2 upset in the opening round. And Arizona was offered up as this year's sacrifice. To be fair, this isn't as big of an upset compared to other 15-over-2 upsets. Believe it or not, I actually saw this coming. The moment Princeton was announced as the opponent, I knew Arizona was gonna go down early. The Tigers just outplayed them and held strong throughout the entire game. Just like in 1996, when they upset defending national champion UCLA in the first round, the Tigers' next upset would unsurprisingly come against a Pac-12 team. Man, 15-over-2 upsets are becoming a staple in March Madness now...future 2 seeds better watch out...
Virginia Cavaliers - This was yet another upset most saw coming, but my god...I'm still stunned by this. Virginia was even leading for most of the game, but then they just imploded near the end. That turnover...what the hell was that?
I swear, Virginia must have sold it's soul for a National Title back in 2019...
Iowa State Cyclones - I swear, the Cyclones are like destined to bow out early in the tournament. It's as if its required by law for them to fall early no matter how high expectations are for them. It wasn't even a contest, the Panthers just straight up slaughtered them. Iowa State is one of the next contestants for my next Legacy of Failure script. But only IF they meet certain conditions...
At least the Cyclones lost to an 11 seed, and 11 seeds at least have moderate success in the tournament.
At least they're not these sorry sacks:
Purdue's Boiler Explosion - What the fuck. What. The fuck. WHAT. THE. FUCK. WAS. THAT. Don't get me wrong, I knew you weren't going to make the Final Four this year. I knew you were going to choke. But as a #1 SEED IN THE FIRST ROUND?! When you were favored by TWENTY FOUR TO WIN?!! Do you realize what you have just done?! This is quite possibly the greatest failure in the history of college sports! This was your ALL-IN year, and you fall to a double digit seed for the third year in a row? Absolutely unacceptable. Matt Painter is on a SEARING hot seat now.
One word, Purdue: NUKE. Blow it up. You aren't winning with Painter. You aren't winning with this coaching staff. You aren't winning this core, and you aren't winning with these mentally fragile players who can't handle a shred of adversity.
Tick, tick, Painter and Lusk. It's time for a house cleaning in West Lafayette. Fucking Purdue... YOU BLEW IT!!!
Memphis Tigers - Penny Hardaway is getting Memphis on the right track. They won the AAC Tournament title over Houston, securing their second straight appearance in the Big Dance. But unfortunately, the Cinderella bug hit them, and it came in the form of Florida Atlantic, who won their first tournament game in school history. Memphis is still an interesting team nonetheless, and I'm eager to see how far Hardaway can take this team in the future.
Iowa Hawkeyes - Congratulations! Your team STILL can't make it past the first weekend of the tournament! This time you get rekt by Auburn. Fran McCaffrey continues to show that he cannot survive come March Madness despite his regular season successes. Iowa, if I were you I would find a new coach already. Fran is not the man.
Texas A&M Aggies - The Aggies had a solid regular season. They came close to winning the SEC Tournament title but got decimated by Alabama. Is this football or basketball I'm covering here? I'm confused. Anyway, it really seemed as if the Aggies had it in them to go on a reasonable run as they were a 7 seed, but then they went to Des Moines and got blown the fuck out by a team that hadn't won a tournament game in 22 years. The failure is always bigger in Texas...
USC Trojans - Despite losing the other Mobley brother to the draft last offseason, the Trojans still snuck their way into the Big Dance yet again. Unfortunately, Tom Izzo's Spartans killed any hopes they had of a deep run. The Trojans failed to conquer Sparta, and it's time for me to break out this scene from 300 again...
Providence Friars - After making the Sweet 16 last year, the Friars had another good team this season and were ranked for most of the latter half of the season. But unfortunately, Kentucky remembered last year's upset at the hands of Saint Peter's and decided to kill any hopes the Friars had of a deep run.
Baylor Bears - Once again, Baylor fails to make it past the second round. Despite maintaining most of the 2021 National Championship roster the Bears still cannot find it in themselves to get past the first weekend again. It wasn't even a contest, Creighton flat out controlled the tempo for the entire game. 2021 had better not have been a fluke for your guys...
Fairleigh Dickinson Knights - Congrats, FDU! You became the 2nd #16 seed to beat a #1! Your consolation prize is blowing a late lead to Florida Atlantic in round two. Eh, who cares. You still pulled off the upset. The fact that this only happened 5 years after UMBC's stunning upset over Virginia is the most shocking fact about this too. Now, no #1 seed is safe. We are entering a period in the tournament where even the lowest seeds are now potential contenders. It'll be interesting to see how 2024's tournament goes...
Saint Mary's Gaels - Ah, it's that other WCC team. Congrats on winning another tournament game! Your prize is to get absolutely slaughtered by UConn. Great...
Penn State Nittany Lions - Congrats, Penn State! You won your first tournament game in 22 years! Even though you took the Longhorns to the limit, a big run just wasn't in the cards for you this year. Can we grant another tournament win to Penn State and put them in the Sweet 16 instead of Texas? They deserve it a lot more than Purdue...
Pittsburgh Panthers - Congrats, Pitt! You returned to the NCAA Tournament for the first time in 7 years! You even won a tournament game too! Though all good things must come to an end, and you get upended by Xavier.
Indiana Hoosiers - What in the literal fuck was that supposed to be? Weren't you supposed to make a big run this year? This was the best team you've had in almost a decade and you just decided to crumble like that?! Sure, Miami was playing the game of their lives but it still shouldn't have been a 16-point blowout. Well, could be worse I guess. You could be Purdue...
Kentucky Wildcats - Let's start with the good news first: You were not upset in the first round this time. Instead you get eliminated by your old friends from K-State yet again. Which is good because we don't have to deal with more arrogance from the Kentucky fanbase this time. Nobody likes Kentucky anyway, so there was much rejoicing.
Duke Blue Devils - Even with Coach K no longer in the College Basketball world, the Blue Devils still manage to appear in the NCAA Tournament as a reasonably high seed. They managed to end Oral Roberts' foolish ambitions in the first round (I really wanted to make more sex jokes from that...), but then got absolutely BTFOd by Tennessee in the next round. The Evil Empire has been stopped yet again. But they'll be back here again. The Blue Devils never stay down for long...
Marquette Golden Eagles - HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO TEACH YOU THIS LESSON, OLD MAN?! Once again, Shaka Smart cannot make it past the first weekend of the tournament. Tom Izzo's Spartans put him in his place yet again. For fuck's sake, it's been a DECADE since Smart's coaching schemes got exposed by John Beilein in 2013. And he still has not gotten the message. Did I ever tell you what the definition of insanity is, Mr. Smart?
Auburn Tigers - Thanks for allowing us to laugh at Iowa again, Auburn. Now enjoy getting slaughtered by Houston in the next round.
Kansas Jayhawks - For the second year in a row, the defending national champion falls in the second round. Kansas appeared as if they would have this game in the bag, as they led by as much as 10 throughout the game. But then the team just imploded. The Razorbacks fought their way back and managed to eke out the win in the final seconds. Cherish that championship, Kansas. It may be the only one you win for a while.
TCU Horned Frogs - It seems like TCU sports are on the rise as of late. Their football team made the College Football Playoff, and their basketball team entered the tournament as a #6 seed! They even won another tournament game! But unfortunately they failed to make us laugh at Gonzaga again, as the Bulldogs narrowly escaped with the win.
Northwestern Wildcats - Welcome back to the tournament again, Northwestern! Even though this is only your second NCAA tournament appearance, you managed to win another tournament game! But a deep run just wasn't in the cards for you this time. Even after giving UCLA all they could handle, it just wasn't enough. I hope the Wildcats are able to make it back here again someday. Chris Collins seems to have something good going at Evanston. Let's see how things go the next few years.
Missouri Tigers - Congrats, Missouri! You won your first tournament game in 13 years! Your reward is to get absolutely blown the fuck out by another set of Tigers...who were seeded 15th. Come on now. Sure, Princeton was playing the game of their lives, but it still shouldn't have been a 15-point blowout. You're one of the contestants for a future Legacy of Failure script, Missouri. Give me something to truly laugh at and it'll be icing on the cake.
Maryland Terrapins - I'm gonna save the Big Bill Hell's rant this time. The Terps seemed to put a decent fight in the first half, but the Crimson Tide decided that was far enough, and put them out of their misery.
Princeton Tigers - Congrats, Princeton! You returned to the Sweet 16 for the first time in 56 years, and are only the fourth 15 seed to reach the Sweet 16! Third one in a row to do so, in fact! But all good things must come to an end, and there was another team looking to end their own demons. Creighton returned to the Elite Eight for the first time since the year Pearl Harbor happened.
Alabama Crimson Tide - The third #1 seed to fall this tournament. The Tide controlled the tempo most of the game, but the Aztecs eventually took the lead and never looked back. Once again, Alabama's dream to be a champion in both football and basketball like Michigan did in 1989 has not come to fruition. Maybe next year?
Tennessee Volunteers - Tennessee manages to return to the Sweet 16. And that's as far as they go. It's time for them to be upset by an inferior team again, and this time it's Florida Atlantic. The only time it appeared as if the Vols controlled the game was in the first half. But then FAU decided they wanted to go further. They took the lead in the second half, even leading by as much as 10 points, but they didn't relinquish it, making their first ever Elite Eight.
Michigan State Spartans - Congratulations! Your team finally made it past the second round! But the Sweet 16 is as far as you go. And they screwed up big time. This was yet another game where MSU's opponent was doing their best to hand the game to them, but they once again couldn't capitalize on their mistakes. K-State was literally handing them the game on a silver platter. They blew multiple leads and were even pushed into overtime. They even let you stay in the game until the final seconds! But then you just had to fuck up and let Markquis Nowell dance on your ashes, even letting him make NCAA history in the process.
Houston Cougars - What the hell was that, Houston? That has got to be arguably the worst performance by a 1 seed in the Sweet 16 in recent memory! This was the best team you've had since the days of Phi Slama Jama, and you go and do THAT?! Jesus Christ, you're pathetic. It wasn't even a contest, Miami barely even had to fucking try! Well, at least you're joining a real conference in the Big 12 next season. Hopefully the opponents from that conference can toughen you up and make you more formidable in next year's tournament.
Xavier Musketeers - Congrats, Xavier! You returned to the Sweet 16 for the first time in six years! Enjoy getting absolutely mauled by the Longhorns.
UCLA Bruins - Now this was a shock to see. This was the absolute inverse of 2006. The Bruins build up a big lead, only for Gonzaga to come back and build a big lead...only for the Bruins to storm right back and go up by 1. Maybe this is a repeat of 2006?
"Strawther for the lead...BULLSEYE!!!!"
And the Bulldogs have finally gotten their proper revenge for 2006, where they lost in the West region after blowing a big lead in the Sweet 16. Adam Morrison laughs, and the rest of the country breaths a sigh of relief as they don't have to see Los Angeles win another championship.
Arkansas Razorbacks - Great job, Arkansas! You managed to knock off the defending national champions! Your prize is to get absolutely steamrolled by UConn in the next round...by 23 points. Great...
Creighton Bluejays - Congrats, Creighton! You returned to the Elite Eight for the first time since WORLD WAR II!! And you're on the verge of becoming the first team from Nebraska to make the Final Four, beating out even the Cornhuskers! Imagine that! But it was not to be. The Bluejays built up a decent lead, and were on the verge of becoming the first #6 seed to make the Final Four since the Fab Five Michigan squad in 1992. But they couldn't hold it, as the Aztecs slowly crawled their way back. The Bluejays didn't really make any big mistakes, they didn't foul all that much, but at the end of the day it wasn't enough. They nearly sent the game into OT, but then...a last second foul call gave the Aztecs new life (Refball? You decide.). They would lose by a point. They were THAT close. But I honestly can't be mad at them. Still a successful season though. Hopefully next year you can get over the hump.
Kansas State Wildcats - I swear to god, K-State has to be the most unlucky team in NCAA Tournament history. This was their NINTH trip to the Elite Eight since their last Final Four berth in 1964 and they fell just short yet again. And like in 2010 and 2018, it was to a Cinderella team. First it was Butler. Then it was Sister Jean's henchmen from Loyola-Chicago. Now, it was FAU. Despite having a strong roster, the Wildcats once again could not end their long Final Four drought. Folks like to talk about Purdue being unlucky, but I think the real bridesmaid here is K-State. Just absolutely brutal. Which is why they're a candidate for my next Legacy of Failure script.
Texas Longhorns - This was very much a Days of our Steelers season for Longhorns basketball. Head coach Chris Beard was axed following an incident where he beat his wife (FUCKING IDIOT), and assistant Rodney Terry had to step in and clean up the mess. Thankfully, it was a good hire. Terry helped guide the Longhorns to their best season in ages, as they returned to the Elite Eight for the first time in 15 years. It appeared as if they were on the verge of returning to the Final Four for the first time in two decades! But then, the team straight up SHAT THE BED. Texas could not get anything going at all near the end of the game, as the Hurricanes came back from 13 points down to make their first Final Four. YOU BLEW IT!!!
Though lets be honest here, the refs were absolute dogshit. Calling blatant offensive fouls as fouls on the player guarding, are you fucking kidding me? Still, the Longhorns did screw up and blow that lead. Blame the refs all you want, but you want to know what would have helped? Not blowing a 13 point lead late in the second half. But at least Rodney Terry has shown that he can coach. Hopefully he can lead this Texas team to new heights in the future.
Gonzaga Bulldogs - pukes uncontrollably Fucking hell, are you kidding me? What the hell were you doing all game long? This was your ALL-IN year. You were the top scoring team in the country. You had the best player in the nation in Drew Timme! And you got absolutely beaten to a pulp by the team that beat you in your first Elite Eight appearance 24 years ago. Sure, UConn was playing the game of their lives, but it still shouldn't have been a near-30 point slaughter. You managed to unleash the Pandora's Box of Locusts known as UConn fans on the College Basketball world. Your Legacy of Failure continues. UConn is still getting the best of you after all these years, eh?
Florida Atlantic Owls - Oh my god, it's going to happen! The Owls are about to make history! They're up by 14! Sure the Aztecs cut that lead down to 1 in the final seconds, not to mention the refs are absolute shit, but the Owls are about to make history and become the first 9 seed to make the National Championship! Let's hear it for FAU!
"They don't have their scorers on the floor...it's Butler, with 2 seconds, he's gotta put it up and...-buzzer sounds- HE WINS IT!!! HE WINS IT WITH THE JUMPER!!! A San Diego State Miracle!"
OH MY MERCIFUL GOD!!! Well, this sucks. But it was still a successful season nonetheless. The third 9 seed to ever make the Final Four, and it happened in your second NCAA tournament appearance! Well, you'll be joining a better conference in the AAC next year. Hopefully you can make another big run like this again someday.
Miami Hurricanes - Congrats, Miami! You made your first Final Four in school history! And then the fun stops. UConn comes in to spoil the day. I would rip on Miami here, but nothing went right for them at all this game. Nothing. Missing 14 layups in the second half? Christ, that's brutal. Even though Jim Larrañaga tried his best to get Miami's stars on the right track, they were no match for the Huskies. Whenever Miami tried to strike back, UConn said 'Nope!' and put the Hurricanes on lockdown for the rest of the game. Nonetheless, this was a good run for Miami this year. You'll be back here eventually.
Whew, that was a crazy tournament. Now we're finally down to only two. And only one of these teams will be walking away with a championship.
Let's bring out contestant number one...
Connecticut Huskies
The Huskies have returned to the National Championship for the fifth time in school history, and for the first time in almost a decade. The last time they were here, the Final Four was held in the other major Texas metropolis of Dallas-Ft. Worth, and the Huskies became the first 7 seed in NCAA Tournament history to win a National Championship. Now, they are here for more.
The face of this revived UConn squad has been Jordan Hawkins, a sophomore from Maryland who has been this team's leading scorer in their past two matchups against Arkansas and Gonzaga, and it has been a long road for him. During the season opener he suffered his second concussion in his playing career and had to sit out the first two games, but he has thankfully made a full recovery and is playing better than ever. Joining him has been African sensation Adama Sanogo, a two-time first-team All-Big East award winner. He and Hawkins have been the bread and butter of this UConn squad, as both have been leading the team in scoring in a majority of games this season. Sanogo has also been this team's rebounding machine, as he has led the team in rebounds in all four of their tournament games so far. Rounding out UConn's Big 3 has been Andre Jackson Jr., who has been the Assists leader for this team in 18 games including the NCAA Tournament.
UConn has been the hottest team in this tournament thus far, as they've won each of their first four games by at least 10 points or more. Iona? 14-point win. #5 St. Mary's? 15 point win. #8 Arkansas, who just took down the defending national champs? 23 point win. #3 seed Gonzaga, who had three-time consensus All-American Drew Timme? Doesn't matter to them, they won by 28. #5 Miami? Even though the Hurricanes tried to put up a fight, they were beaten by 13. This Huskies team is absolutely unstoppable. The last two teams who won their first five tournament games by double digits both went on to win the national title - North Carolina in 2009, and Villanova in 2018. And it looks like history is about to repeat itself. UConn is hungry for it's fifth national title.
This #4 seed is playing like a #1 seed, and they are for sure the favorite to win it all. Just like every other time UConn has a solid team in the tournament, it's National Championship or bust.
Prepare for their wrath.
But not if their opponents have anything to say about it...
San Diego State Aztecs
The Aztecs have made it to the National Championship game. Exactly as everyone predicted at the start of the tournament. What this team reminds me of is the drug addict that has had numerous chances to get his shit together but constantly relapsed every time. And it's only through a reflection and a last second intervention that he starts to get clean.
For a while it felt as if San Diego State would never make it here. Former Michigan head coach Steve Fisher and his longtime assistant Brian Dutcher spent YEARS building this team into a contender. And the Aztecs have put up many elite teams over the years, but could only go as far as the Sweet 16 at best.
2011 seemed to be their year. They fell to UConn. In 2014, they were a 4 seed. They fell to Arizona. And after a series of first and second round eliminations, they finally got over the hump and made it to the promised land, though just BARELY.
This run has been far from easy for the Aztecs. They escaped by 7 points against Charleston in the first round. In the second they destroyed Furman, who just upset Virginia. Then came the Sweet 16, their opponent was the overall #1 seed in Alabama. It looked like another early exit for the Aztecs again. But then, a miracle happened. They rallied from 9 points down in the second half against Alabama to take the lead for good and make their first ever Elite Eight. And in their first Elite Eight, Creighton pushed them to the limit. However, they managed to overcome another deficit and escape by the skin of their teeth in the last second (Refball? You decide.). Same case in their first ever Final Four. They trailed by fourteen against Florida Atlantic, and it felt as if that was it. But then, the Aztecs pulled off another miracle to win by 1. That miracle's name? Lamont Butler. This team is the Energizer Bunny of the tournament. They will not die no matter how much stress you put on them.
SDSU's sudden appearance in the National Championship feels less like a "Glad you made it here!" and more of a "FINALLY!!". Considering all of the elite talent and top-tier coaching they've possessed over the years, it's still surprising that it took them this long to get here. But hey, better late than never.
Fuck you, Spanos!
The face of this San Diego State team has been Matt Bradley, a two-time First-team All-Mountain West selection. Alongside him is Ghanaian sensation Nathan Mensah, who is known for his immense wingspan of 7'4 ft, and has led this team in rebounds in two of their four wins this tournament. Other standouts on this Aztecs team include Jaedon LeDee, Micah Parrish, Darion Trammell, and Lamont Butler, who has led the team in Assists this tournament.
Brian Dutcher has built a winner this tournament, but we all know what his ultimate goal is - a National Championship. Though it wouldn't be his first. His first title came with the 1989 Michigan team led by Glen Rice and Rumeal Robinson, where he was an assistant under Coach Fisher. Now he's looking to win one as a head coach.
The Aztecs seek to become the first team from California to win a national title in basketball since 1995. That year, UCLA won their 11th National Title in school history by knocking off the "40 Minutes of Hell" Arkansas squad, a rather formidable opponent on par with this UConn team. And no team from California has done it since.
Will San Diego State be the team to break that drought, and become the fourth team from the Golden State to win a National Title? Will they become the first non-power five conference team to win a National Title since UNLV did it in 1990?
Will the Aztecs become the first team from San Diego to win a championship in either the pros or college, and break the San Diego sports curse?
And so, here it is. The Big East Empire of Doom, versus the Mountain West's only hope!
Time for battle.
EPIC NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP JINXING
Unfortunately, there will be no miracles this time. I think UConn has this one in the bag. They've been destroying their opponents with ease, like North Carolina and Villanova before them. No matter what you throw at them, they'll just push it aside like a cardboard box. Their 28-point win over a stacked Gonzaga team is proof of this. They always seem to have an answer for whatever their opponents throw at them, and therefore the choice is easy.
UConn will steamroll the Aztecs by at least 10 points and cruise to a 5th National Championship, tying with both Duke and Indiana for the fourth most championships.
Have a nice day.

If there two fought each other, who would win? Captain Grime, or Warden Wrath
Also, should Grime have Barrel's Warhamme)r in this? Or would that make him too OP?

Major spoilers for “Edible Complex” (Season Two Episode Two) follow, and though I try to refrain from crossing the threshold into fan theory, in my opinion some of the allusions to Ulysses are suggestive of what might happen in future episodes. You have been warned.
I suspect that when the writers came up with the idea for this episode they had their copy of James Joyce’s Ulysses open to the fifth section, known as “Lotus Eaters”. In it Leopold Bloom contemplates the idea that in mass the body of Jesus is consumed and is reminded of cannibals (I think of Jackie), a woman with skin made white thus bringing out the darkness of her eyes (I think of Laura Lee’s reappearance), strawberries (I think of the bacchanal feast), and “skinfood” (do I even have to tell you what this makes me think of?).
More details follow.

1. Title
2. The Symbol
3. Travis Martinez, Javi Martinez, and Adam Martin
4. Nat and Tan
5. Mirrors
6. Laura Lee
7. The Funeral Pyre and the Feast

1. Title
The title alludes to both Ulysses and the Odyssey. “Edible” sounds like “Oedipal”; Oedipus, who had sex with his mother, appears in the Odyssey as do cannibal giants.
As mentioned, Leopold Bloom thinks about cannibalism in “Lotus Eaters”. And in “Circe”, another section of Ulysses, Leopold Bloom becomes aroused thinking about the scene in Hamlet preceding the scene in which Hamlet confronts his mother Gertrude and threatens to “set you up a glass / Where you may see the inmost part of you.” Gertrude worries that Hamlet plans on carving her up, and audiences wonder if his desire for his mother is Oedipal. (After the Odyssey, Hamlet is the work Ulysses alludes to the most.)
2. The Symbol
In the episode we once again see the mysterious symbol we first saw in “Pilot” (Season One Episode One). In “Lotus Eaters” there is a reference to alchemists, which is interesting in view of u/theflyingwhisker’s post suggesting that the symbol is composed of symbols from alchemy.
3. Travis Martinez, Javi Martinez, and Adam Martin
Travis Martinez, Javi Martinez, and Adam Martin all have last names alluding to various “Martin”s mentioned throughout Ulysses.
I surmise “Travis” is an allusion to traversals. If we did not know already, this would make Travis a significant character: Ulysses is as much about Leopold Bloom’s and Stephen Dedalus’s traversals of Dubin as the Odyssey is about Odysseus’ sea voyage. (On a related note, the writers presumably derived “Mari” from “mariner”, another word that occurs in Ulysses.)
Javi’s first name is an allusion to “Saint Francis Xavier”, whose name is mentioned in James Joyce’s Ulysses and in whose honor Catholics observe a feast day. In “Lotus Eaters” there are references to various men named “Joseph”, including Jesus’ father. I have to wonder if the writers were also thinking of a different Joseph: In the Hebrew Scriptures Joseph’s brothers tear off a piece of Joseph’s robe, stain the robe with another organism’s blood, and take it to his father, presenting it as proof of his beloved son’s demise.
In Ulysses the name appears in the sentence “Unfallen Adam rode and not rutted”, alluding to some Christians’ belief that before humanity’s fall humans had sex without experiencing lust. Is Travis’s apparent encounter with Lottie an allusion to this? Whatever the answer may be, “Adam” also occurs in a mention of Adam Kadmon and in the phrase “not knowing me from Adam”.
In Ulysses “Adam” also appears when a character utters the palindrome “Madam, I’m Adam.” In a work full of references to parallax and mirror imagery, it makes sense that the author would be interested in palindromes. Speaking of which . . .
4. Nat and Tan
Kevyn Tan’s name is an allusion to “the Honourable Mrs. Mervyn Talboys”. Ulysses also contains several occurrences of the word “tan”, usually in references to Blazes Boylan’s “new tan shoes”. We find “Nat.” as an abbreviation, and “Nat” is also “tan” spelled backwards. Together their name reminds us of “tan gnat”, a rather well-known palindrome.
5. Mirrors
Elsewhere I suggested that the Yellowjackets writers have taken a cue from Ulysses and use mirrors to represent objectification and blades to represent bodily harm. It seems appropriate then that we see “the Bad One” move in the mirror, as it suggests that some inner part of her is being cut into pieces. And of course, Jackie says something about mirrors while calling Shauna “useless” as though she is an inert tool.
Presumably it is also significant that Callie says, “Everything I thought was real is a fun house hall of mirrors.” Mirrors reduce people to their appearance—and often a distorted appearance at that. The writers might have also had in mind spherical aberration, a phenomenon related to parallax; parallax in turn is the metaphor at the heart of Ulysses.
6. Laura Lee
u/Windows1798 has argued (quite persuasively, in my opinion) that Laura Lee is associated with Apollo and Lottie with the moon. As my wife observed, Laura Lee’s transfiguration is reminiscent of her death, which we saw in Season One. Within u/Window1798’s framework Laura Lee’s death amounts to the end of the age of Apollo and light and the beginning of the age of the moon and darkness.
In “Lotus Eaters” Leopold thinks about suicide and “glimpses of the moon”. This is a direct reference to Hamlet in which Hamlet says this to his father’s ghost: “What may this mean, / That thou, dead corse, again, in complete steel, / Revisit'st thus the glimpses of the moon, Making night hideous.” The writers might also have been thinking of Ulysses’ use of the phrase “the witching hour of the night”, which is also found in Hamlet just before Hamlet’s encounter with Gertrude, mentioned above.
Ulysses alludes to Il Trovatore, an opera in which Ferrando recounts that a woman was burned at the stake after being accused of casting spells on the infant Garzia. Before she burned completely she demanded that her daughter Azucena avenge her death. Soldiers pursued her after she kidnapped the child and found her with a fire in which there were bones that had not yet completely burned. Ferrando says that she still haunts the area and once killed a man by appearing to him as an owl at midnight.
7. The Funeral Pyre
If we count the burning of Adam’s face on his ID, there have now been four times since the initial plane crash that a character has been placed on or in the structure that burns them—the burning of Van, the burning of Laura Lee, the burning of Adam, and of course the burning of Jackie. I do not think it coincidental that we saw each of their faces at some point in the episode. Cremation is mentioned in Ulysses, and surely it is significant that Odysseus burned his beloved Elpenor on a pyre.
I find it interesting that the burning of Van, Adam, and Jackie were incomplete. Laura Lee might not be an exception here, considering that in this episode we saw that in some sense Laura Lee is still with Lottie. Note that all four of the instances of burning were connected to an act of sacrifice: Van put herself in harm’s way to help Taissa, Laura Lee died in an act of self-sacrifice, Shauna seemed loath to let go of Adam’s possessions and obviously knew she was going to miss her journals, and the burning of Jackie not only required Shauna to let go of her but also involved a communal meal. In ancient times sacrifice involved offering parts of an animal to a deity and keeping the rest to be consumed by members of the community. There are multiple instances of feasting in the Odyssey.
As u/NaiadoftheSea has observed, the feast in this episode conjures the story of Tantalus, whom Odysseus met in Hades. Tantalus had been sent there because he had sacrificed his son to the deities. In Ulysses there is only one word separating “Tantalus” from the phrase “heart of gold”. Really. Yes.

Rows and rows of corn rustled in the early autumn breeze, eleven year old me danced around the farm. Glancing down at my hands, my eleven year old hands had replaced mine. The brief escape from my masters wouldn’t last long, dogs barked in the distance. Smoothing out my white sweater, my dark denim skirt fluttered in the breeze. Pulling my hair into a ponytail, I still needed more time. Sprinting into the corn, stalks smacked my face. Horror rounded my eyes, heavy paws crashed behind me. Skidding to a stop, my faceless master held me down, allowing the dogs to bite me. Tortured screams burst from my lips, their teeth sinking into my legs and arms.
“I’ll teach you not to run, Swallow!” His deep voice barked ferociously, the heel of his boot pushing my face into the dirt. “You belong to us! Boys, let’s go home. You have to walk home to get bites stitched up. See you if you make it.” Ditching me to bleed out, the sunshine changed to moonlight. Dirt covered up my hands, my body protesting as I struggled to my feet. Limping out of the field, an eleven year old boy with ruby eyes popped up in front of me. Running his hand through his onyx hair, he adjusted his top hat. Taking my hand, my eyes couldn’t leave his pinstripe suit.
“You won’t remember this but we will meet in the future. Hold on for a bit longer.” He promised lovingly, kissing my forehead. “I am going to heal you and you will keep marching forward. I am going to leave you with this.” Kissing my lips passionately, a bright light healed my wounds. The light died down, the boy was gone. I could run but where would I go? Home wasn’t an option, my hands crossing. Sinking to my knees, my fingers traced the layers of bruises and cuts on my skin. Pain was all I knew, the harsh whip of harmful words tearing me down by the day. Wiping away my tears, storm clouds brewed over my head. Time passed, the corn dying and growing in speed motion. Glancing down at them, my regular hands had returned. Eleven year old me walked out of the cornfield, her arms folded across her chest.
“Wake up and stop wallowing in the past!” She spat at me, her bare feet marching up to me. “Don’t be such a pathetic loser.” Inky blackness dyed her eyes, her form shifting to a glitching shadow. Clawed hands reached out to me, my clammy fingers playing with the hem of my blouse. Snapping his fingers, a force woke me up.
Jerking awake, the field of corn swayed in front of me. Patting my body, my usual outfit covered my body. My chest tightened, every breath shortening. Pale moonlight bathed the endless sea of corn, involuntary tears slid down my cheeks. Demy, I needed Demy. Struggling to stand, barking in the distance sent me ten feet in the air. Cupping my ears, a happy mutt ran up to me. His shaggy brown fur was matted with mud, a tag shining in the moonlight. Taking deep breaths, my heart rate settled down. Crouching down to his level, an address greeting me. Shifting through my magic boots, soft leather grazed my fingers. Pulling it out, the dog sat still while I struggled toclick it on. Walking him onto the street, storm clouds brewed over my head. A familiar energy sent chills up my spine, his tail wagging at an unassuming house. The canary colonial loomed over me, one light flickered in the window. The dog went berserk, his barks echoing in the night. Pointing the nose to the shadowy treeline, the glitching shadow figure stepped out of the shadows. Undoing the leash, a pat on his butt sent him back into the house.
“Let’s take this somewhere else. You called me and kidnapped a dog to get me to you.” I growled through a wall of tears, fighting the impending anxiety attack. “I want to fight you away from people. No deserves the chaos you can bring.” A sly grin danced across his lips, wicked laughter rumbling in his throat. Snapping his fingers, the home faded to the torched remains of the training facilities. The memory of me burning it down when I was eleven haunted my mind, the screams of the dying people broke me down in seconds. Collapsing to my knees, vomit flew up my throat. Circling me, his slow claps sank me deeper into my guilt.
“I was born here because of your sins. I am the combination of all the souls you killed that day. We want you dead. You don’t deserve happiness.” He barked bitterly, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. “You have to pay for your sins. There is no way you can have the fruit of a good life after what you did.” It had been an accident, my foot knocking down a candle on flammable chemicals the moment I fell in. Shaking my head, my body rocked back and forth.
“It was an accident!” I blurted out desperately, ripping his arms off of me. “I accidentally knocked over a candle and the flames landed into a vat of chemicals. I tried to warn everybody and you didn’t listen. You thought I was lying. It was your boss who said to let it all burn. Yell at him.” Ripping my head back, his mouth opened up. Ashes flowed into my throat, a coughing fit taking over. The dry material tasted horrendous, nausea wracking my body.
“Do you mind leaving my little Swallow alone?” Demy called out from the shadows, his gun aimed for the shadows head. “Hell of a trick you played there, buddy. Pulling somebody through their dreams. What do you have to say about yourself?” Cocking his brow, fury seethed in his eyes. The shadow refused to let me go, my past literally holding me back. Coughing up the rest of the ash, a stinger extended from his wrists. Pressing it into my neck, my vision blurred. Every cell in me wanted to die, the guilt eating away at my soul. So many screams rang in my ear, the crackling of a fire stealing me away from my current reality. Tears welled up in my eyes, my composure slipping away.
“Our only pathway to Heaven is to kill her so we can move on.” He hissed evilly, pushing it through my neck. “Your little swallow will soon be dead.” Ripping it out, blood poured down my neck. A cry from Demy snapped me back to reality, his bullet whizzing by my head. Mouthing a healing spell, the wound sealed shut. Jumping to my feet, the shadow popped up behind me. Jamming my elbow into his chest, he cried out. Clapping my hands, the three of us stood in the cornfield. The bad part is that we were separated, Demy’s voice calling out to me. Panic gripped me at the silence around me, knowing the next victim.
“Be quiet or he will find you!” I shouted over hooting owls, an idea coming to mind. Digging around with my boot, my fingers curled around my staff. Fire seemed out of the option, my mind moving to air. Slamming the tip of my staff on the loose dirt, a blast of air shot me closer to the moon. Scanning the field for Demy, the shadow and him were battling. Aiming my feet for the space in between them, a cloud of dirt obscured my clumsy landing. Confidence faded to horror, the shadow bursting into flames. Shoving Demy out of the way, his flaming hand grasped my arm. The smell of burning flesh nauseated me, the tip of my scythe slammed into his guts. Loosening his grip, his arm touched a stalk of corn. A steady stream of curse words flowed freely from my lips, the flames spreading with an alarming speed. The heat warmed up my cheeks, my angry burn screaming in protest.
“Rain from Hell, Shower us with the gift of water.” I chanted confidently, storm clouds thundering to life. Heavy raindrops crashed to the top of my head, a defiant grin spreading across my determined face. The flames died out before they hit the nearest home, black stalks smoking into the sky. The shadow stumbled back, my swift kicks knocking them to the ground. Pinning him down with my heel, the tip of my staff pressed into his neck. Extending his stinger, a shrill scream matched the next rumble of thunder as he jammed it into my leg. Unable to move my heel, ravens cawed behind me. The hair stood up on the back of my neck, Demy’s massive blade of his scythe stabbing us both. The shadow creature seized, his body decaying to dust. Copper poisoned my taste buds, inky blood staining my teeth. Wheezing, he ripped out from my stomach. Blood painted my blouse, his scythe swinging towards my neck. Blocking his attack with my staff, tears stained my cheeks. The wound refused to heal, my tone growing shakier by the second.
“Demy! Stop it!” I pleaded desperately, his scythe smashing into my staff. “Remember when you visited me when I was eleven! I know you lied about watching me a year ago. You have been watching me my whole life. You know everything about me and you chose to keep that a secret. I am not even freaked out by it. I need you to come back so I can marry you.” His hard expression softened, my staff splashing in the mud. Lowering his scythe, black smoke curled off of my palms. Helping him tuck it into his hat, the ravens flew back into his top hat. Our hair clung to his face, his shattered expression falling on my wound. Shivering in the rain, he guided my head to his neck.
“I am so sorry that I hurt!” He sobbed into my ear, my fangs extending over my lips. “Drink what you need to heal.” Sinking my teeth into his neck, his arms held me like his life depended on it. Drinking my fill, his eyes refused to meet mine. The rain hid his tears, my trembling hands placing his hat on head. A bright light sealed my wound shut, a wave of relief washing over me. Sobs shook our bodies, the two of us shivering. Cupping his face, my lips kissed him feverishly.
“Now it is my turn.” I wept softly with a quiet smile, his shame filled eyes not leaving my loving gaze. “I may have forgotten that day but your words kept me going. You didn’t do anything wrong, you simply lost control. Weapons can devour you if you aren’t careful. I can heal. Wounds end, my heart would break if you weren’t by my side. Please stay by my side.” Pressing his forehead against mine, his slender hand cupped my cheek. Taking a couple of deep breaths, a slight fear still haunted his eyes. The crunching of my calf bone fusing back together stole the moment, a fit of laughter bursting from our lips.
“I don’t really have a choice.” He teased blithely, his crooked grin melting my heart. “Je t’aime plus que le monde.” Understanding French, my heart fluttered. Scooping up my staff, it shrank back down. Tucking it into my boot, my hand took his. Dragging him out of the destroyed cornfield, the rain slowed to a stop. Tugging him along, his arm kept the branches from his scratching his face. Taking a couple of turns, his breath hitched at the sea of red and oranges spreading underneath the steely gray cliff. Sitting down on the edge, my head rested against his shoulder.
“This is where I always hid from them to get away from my masters before I burned the building down. I always had a place to go.” I commented serenely, his hand cupping mine. “I accidentally set the fire that day. The guilt eats at me everyday. What can I say?” Leaves rustled behind me, the hollow steps of my fellow co-workers boots weren’t that far behind. Pushing him off the cliff, my finger ripped out my staff. Gears whirred, the staff bending at a forty-five degree angle. A mix of golden and scarlet feathers burst from the metal frame, a metal bar coming down. Gripping the metal bar, I pulled myself up. Demy hung on for dear life, my slender fingers stealing his gun. Ripping it from his pocket, the gun hissed upon my touch. Crossing my legs, the scope helped me get a line of three them. Alarm widened my eyes, a helicopter floating up behind me. Leaning back, my aim quivered on the engine that I built. Undoing the safety, a quick yank of the trigger sent a bullet towards the gas tank. Flying up close to the open door, simple white masked assassins greeted me. Perfect, they were ranked lower than me. Evil laughter rumbled in my throat, a quick round leaving steaming bullet holes in the center of their forehead. Stealing their guns, the pilot shot a few rounds into my chest. The bullets made their way up my throat, the pilot soon realizing their mistake. Flicking a bullet in his direction, his body collapsed into a heap. The other assassins leapt off the cliff, metallic wings keeping them from falling to their death. Tucking Demy’s gun back into his pocket, only a few more seconds remained before the helicopter explosion would kill us both. Laying all the way back, my body was verticle to the ground. Counting the seconds, it would take one bullet to kill my enemies in one action. Lining the bullets into my fingers, my hand curled into the ready position. Three, two, one! Flicking my wrist, the velocity of my strength put a bit of heat on the bullets. Swinging myself underneath, Demy helped me steer us away from the impending explosion. A thunderous boom released a wild wind, the orange flames lighting up the sky. Control slipped away from us, the device crashing into a bed of branches. Blood and guts rained down with metal pieces, a blast of ice from my trembling palm putting out the flaming pieces before they touched the dry trees. Smiling warmly to myself, my staff clicked back to normal. Examining her for damage, nothing could be seen.
“That was a close one.” Demy laughed softly, kissing the top of my head. “Let’s find an open circle to draw us a way home.” Lowering ourselves down, our feet touched the packed down dirt. Pausing for a moment, it felt like a car had hit me. The emotional strife had caught up to me, a mental break down was sure to hit me later. Right now, we had to get home. Scrunching my nose up in disgust, blood and rain had soaked me to my bones. Another set of clothes was ruined, my thoughts beginning to run insanely in my mind. The motion of him placing me on his back stole me from my random train of thoughts.
“Let me take care of the rest while you get some rest. You did do most of the work after all.” He assured me with a playful wink, my head resting against his back. Branches crunched underneath his boots, his lips brushing against the tops of my hands. His clothing was just as torn as mine, my fingers tracing every shred. A shiver ran up his spine the moment I kissed the back of his neck. The moon traded shifts with the early morning sun, his endless hike resulting in an empty circle bathed in the orange rays of dawn. Setting me down the center, his hand danced in circles. The usual symbols stared back up at me, his knife guiding across my palm. Squeezing my hand until a shining pool of blood reflected our filthy faces, he guided my hand around. Dropping a pile piece of his ledger book from home, flames devoured the paper. A rush of air circled us, the woods of New Hampshire faded away to our bedroom. Still cupping my palm, his hungry eyes couldn’t stray from the fresh blood. Offering him my palm, his fangs sank into the tender flesh. Old Man Dallas poked his head in, his hand covering up his nose.
“I will have dinner ready in an hour. Get cleaned up and make yourselves presentable.” He twanged with his rich accent, smoothing out his staple white suit. “We have a job prospect coming tonight and she pays well. I will lend you one of my wife’s dresses from the fifties. You will probably just poof yourself a suit. Chop chop, my little beignets. We have a business to grow.” Setting a couple of dresses on the bed, Demy motioned for me to get cleaned up. Sprinting into the bathroom, the quick shower invigorated me. Drying myself off, a black and white polka dot swing dress hung on the door. Pulling it over my head, Demy poked his head in. Zipping it up for me, his slender fingers styled my hair into an intricate bun. Spinning me around, he kissed my forehead. Dusting off his clean suit, he adjusted my collar. One should feel shame but pride swelled in my eyes. Pulling a liquid liner out of his pocket, one simple flick on either side gave me a perfect cat’s eye. Clutching me close to his chest, he offered me my boots. Sliding my feet into them, his arm hooked around my elbow. Guiding me downstairs, his body stiffened at an elderly lady sitting to the left of Old Man Dallas. Her fucshia pink silk dress hugged her petite body, her wrinkles telling a twisted tale. Cloudy eyes followed my every move, her silvery blue hair rested in a perfect bun.
“I am Madame Seshunio, your next client and forever client if you do well.” She introduced herself with her nose up in the air, sliding over a card. “I came to drop off the order. As for my place to stay for the entirety of the job, Old Man Dallas offered me a room. In fact, I would like your room. I heard it is the second biggest. Perhaps you can sleep up in the attic.” My brows furrowed, Old Man Dallas’ stern gaze shut down my initial reaction. Unfortunately, he couldn’t tame Demy.
“I am not sleeping where they tortured those poor souls, Madame Sesheunio.” He snapped hotly, pulling out a chair for me. “We will sleep in the living room. Do not touch any of my things or I will place a curse on you. Do you understand.” Helping me sit down, an anxious maid brought out plates of steak and potatoes. Her gnarly hands cupped mine, mixed emotions flashing on her face. Tears stained her cheeks, a look of rage poisoning the softness of the sadness. Falling back, a look of horror plastered itself into my brain.
“You shouldn’t be alive.” She stuttered nervously, her shaking hands unable to pick up her fork. “So much tragedy courses through your veins, your mental state sure to bring you down. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, the Mad Hatter will marry the Swallow. Many children are dancing around you, their laughter filling the air.” A warm smile sweetened her features, Demy nudging my shoulders.
“I like you, Swallow.” She admitted freely, her eyes falling on Demy. “You tamed the Mad Hatter with a collar around your neck. You really must be something.” Cutting his steak, Demy’s words nearly made me choke on my spit.
“You did live here as a young lady when I showed up. You seem to be doing well yourself. How are the grandchildren?” He asked sincerely, bowing in her direction. “You did get me in trouble. You were like the sister I never had. How could I forget about the times we nearly gave him a heart attack?” Scanning the card, my eyes bulged at the reward for completing the job. My face fell at the job and its magnitude. Clearing out a sea of demons was the last thing I wanted to do, a long sigh escaping my lips. Why couldn’t I ever get a fucking break?

They’ve been through so much, just let them be cute, happy, and gay together. That’s all I ask.