This is more challenging than expected. I figured the last week would be easy. I got maybe two real friends in this world. One is still drinking. And the one who isn’t is most likely not talking to me anymore. It hurts, everything hurts. It’s damn lonely. It’s cold. Empty. Drinking seems like such a welcome relief. I don’t want to be here. I just simply don’t want to be. I miss the days when I could just be sick and sleep my hangover away. 349 down 6 more to go. I can do this.

Last night I discovered two very small “dots” on my leg, next to a slightly bigger one. My anxious brain immediately thought that I must have been bitten by a bat, even though that I haven’t seen one since last summer (there is none in my apartment/in the house, and I also haven’t seen them flying around outside either, as it is too cold during the night yet). I showed the picture to friends, family, even a friend who is a doctor, and they all said that I don’t have anything to worry about, it must be a “general injury”, scratch mark or at most a spider bite. I am still extremely anxious about rabies, even though no animal reportedly had it in my country in the last 10 years. How do I calm myself down? I don’t want to be anxious for weeks / months because of this…

I'm watching a dog for a night, she isn't super young AT ALLL but she isn't potty trained though. I don't live in a cold climate, she's staying in a veranda in a gated place so she's physically safe there. She won't get cold or anything. We played with her all day. She's eaten. She's taken a pee and a poop and it doesn't matter if she pees inside as she wouldn't go out to pee anyway. She has ALOT of room and is a small dog so there's no way she's going to be sleeping near her excrement if she does. She isn't sick or anything.
She's just laying down there, chilling. She'll just be alone till the morning and there's a light but it's not at all very bright.
This is the only time She'll be doing this. Is it ok for her? Our house flooring has carpets and She'll most likely pee on them if she sleeps with us.

I recently went and saw my nurse practitioner and got some blood work done.
My TSH came back at a 5.298 and my T4 is 0.80 — I was pretty concerned because when I had blood work done three years ago, my TSH was only at a 1.725. When researching, it seems like anything above a 5 is considered high.
She basically told me that these numbers are normal and everything looks fine..
I wouldn’t say I have all the symptoms of hypothyroidism, but some are definitely there. I’ve gained 20 pounds out of no where in the past year, increase in dry skin, sensitivity to cold, headaches, low libido, some tiredness too.
Are these numbers considered “normal” or do they cause some concern? Just looking for input and opinions as I have no experience or any family with hypothyroid issues. Thanks all!

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What I thought my daughter would bring home from nursery;
Cute drawings, artwork, a love for learning
What my daughter actually brings home from nursery;
Scarlet fever, more colds than I've ever had in my entire life, more sickness bugs than I've ever had in my entire life , Covid twice because once wasn't enough , chicken pox , Hand foot and mouth
And now we have conjunctivitis. I used to think I was a pretty healthy person before I had a child. Turns out I just didn't live with a tiny Germ magnet

Pretty much as the title says. We recently got into a argument because she felt like I didn’t want to take her pictures most of time but I tried to explain to her that I just felt like it was a time and place for things like that. Background: she started getting into taking pictures a lot more 2 years ago and wanted to try a blow up on social media to then make money from it. Throughout that time I have taken her pictures a lot of time because in the beginning it was a lot harder since I guess she didn’t know how she wanted to look for the pictures so at the time blamed me for taking bad pictures and not knowing how to take pictures so she then began using a tripod to do it herself. Later on she eventually found out how to take pictures in her preferred way and stop blaming me for the most part and I started taking them again. Now depending on the day we would go out and make plans to take her pictures which sometimes would range from 30min to about a hour and a half out in cold I should add or just take a few when we are out on a date. Fast forward to now and I don’t take her pictures as much but some of the recent times she wanted me to I just felt wasn’t the right time. We had went to the movies took our seats and granted everyone wasn’t in the movies yet and the lights was still on because the movie didn’t start. But she randomly wanted me to take pictures while we were sitting down. Now I really didn’t want to because it just seemed out of place and neither of us even dressed up just comfortable clothes to relax for the movie but I ended up taking a few which I rushed and did it quickly because I didn’t really want to do it and she got mad because I didn’t try and they looked off which is fair but I told her it just seem weird to be doing this in the movies. Then awhile ago we went to dinner with friend to celebrate a birthday and while we were all sitting down waiting for food she wanted me to take her picture, i once again felt like it wasn’t the time for that but I did anyway and took my time so they all came out really good. But after that she looked at them and loved them but wanted more, I then told her later because i really wasn’t in the mood for that and we ended up not doing anymore because she said she could feel that I didn’t want to take them which is true. Now to the argument she pretty much doesn’t feel supported and thinks I most of time don’t want to take her pictures which isn’t true because I really don’t mind most of the time and told her it’s just a time and place for things and we spoke on those examples I gave. She, for some reason doesn’t agree and thinks I don’t support her and told me it’s nothing wrong with me saying no but also telling me I’m either 100% supporting her by taking her pictures when she wants or not a at all. I told her I just dont feel like taking them sometimes but I still support and will take them. That doesn’t seem to be enough for her though she says she still feels unsupported and when she blows up she doesn’t know how she can respect the relationship since she did it on her own. I didn’t really know what to say to that other then I do support her by cheering her on liking her pictures and taking them most of the time. But that’s not enough and she for some reason she hates that I don’t like to do it sometimes and feel like it’s a time and place for it. What can I do to make this right?
Tl:dr gf feels unsupported because I sometimes don’t feel like taking her pictures or just feel it isn’t the right time says she doesn’t know how she can respect the relationship when she blows up because she’ll feel like she did it on her own.

https://nudistory.substack.com/p/a-1930s-business-womans-first-experience?sd=pf
This post is FREE. There is a subscribe now pop-up I can't remove. You a bypass it by clicking "Continue reading>".
This is an excerpt from the March 1938 issue of the British nudist magazine The Naturist.

I JOIN THE "NUDISTS"

By A BUSINESS GIRL
Let me say straight off that I am not a nudist by inclination. I am inclined to be shy, and prim and proper, greatly due to a very Victorian upbringing by my grandmother, who, for reasons of " modesty," even taught me to undress under cover of my little "nightie."
This modesty, so-called, I have always observed, and have never, even with women friends, been in the habit of walking about completely nude. I have, however, enjoyed an air-bath very often, in the privacy of my own room. But that is as far as it went.
As a matter-of-fact, I have always considered that Naturists went a bit too far, and when I made up my mind to attend a Naturist Clinic, for reasons to be shortly outlined, I worried and bothered and shrank from it as from an ordeal. I hated the thought of going. I loitered along the way until I was late. I nearly fled at the last moment.
All the same, as I was not predisposed to naturism, and not definitely against, I can be regarded as having a fairly open mind, and as such, my opinions may be valuable to those who are wondering about the movement.
Let me tell you that though I have often felt a desire for liberation from the restrictions of ordinary life, I did not know in what manner. When I expressed impatience, my friends told me to go away and get married, but I knew that was not a solution, for one's inner self remains the same after marriage as before. What I yearned for was a sort of spiritual marriage- to be at one again with trees and flowers, as when I was a little child and went wandering in bluebell woods, imagining a nymph or dryad behind every tree, wishing that wee beasties like squirrels and birds would come down and talk to me and not be afraid. Wanting so badly to be at one with myself and the universe. Wanting yes, wanting to be good.
I did not know this was waiting for me when I attended my first Nudist beg pardon I mean Naturist meeting last week. They do not like the word " Nudist," since Nudism alone is not their aim, but only a means to complete freedom. I was persuaded to go by a friend, one of the best persons I know, and I was curious really to find what she, whom I admire as a very high type, could see in going naked" among a lot of other women and men. So I took the plunge, also because I was frightened, I think, as much as anything. I always face up to things which frighten me. It may take me some time, but I do it in the end. (I don't always win, either, but then, I renew the battle later.)
My friend gave me the address of the Clinic, which is also a fully equipped gymnasium, with hot and cold showers, and the latest sun-ray lamps. I had to meet her inside, as our hours of business finished differently. Screwing my courage to the sticking point, I pressed the door-bell. I heard no sound, and wondered timidly if the bell had rung, or if I should ring again, but then steps were heard, and the door opened. A man stood there, keen-faced, and kindly-eyed. He was fully dressed. (' Thank goodness!') I thought, and nearly fled, even then, while he was explaining that the naturist class was held away inside, in very strict privacy, and that was the reason I did not hear the bell ring. It was the proprietor in person. He answers
the door, for obvious sensible reasons. I followed him and found myself looking at several naked men, blinked, looked round, saw my friend coming to meet me, from among a group of naked men and women. One girl I noticed immediately, with a crown of raven hair, and a perfect figure, a veritable goddess. My heart sank! And I, five feet two, with fairly good arms and legs, but thin ribs and a heart that was nearly beating through them, I was so shy and miserable! But I set my teeth. I had determined to be a naturist "for one night only," at any rate; face up to something I was nervous of; and also discover what my friend had found in it all.
Passing through the group, who were in a large, comfy room, a cross between a kitchen and a restroom, with a blazing fire, and a large table covered with refreshments, we went upstairs.
"I can't! I can't take off every stitch of my clothes and go down and face that crowd!" I wailed. "Look over the top of the partition," she said. " Everyone else is without clothes."
I looked. Some were playing badminton. Even in spite of figure faults I noticed how the naked figures, seen together, took on a different aspect from when one sees a single naked body; quite different; like children, playing innocently together; or, like statues come to life.
It was very strange, but that agonising moment of shyness and embarrassment as I was shedding my clothes quite passed as soon as I had joined the other people, It was while I was clothed, I felt shy. As soon as I was like the rest, I felt at ease. I never would have believed one's feelings could change so quickly. It was as if a moment before I had been Tom, the sweep, and now I was Tom, the clean little water-baby.
I drank my cup of tea, which was most refreshing, as I had had a worrying day, and had only taken a cup of cocoa at lunch-time through anxiety over my work. The tea was delicious, so was the glow of the fire on my body. The pretty girl began to talk to me, so did the others. Men looked at me. I looked at them, but I did not feel naked, and I did not feel ashamed. I felt " All right."
Then a call went out for the physical culture class and for an hour we twisted and bent, and marched, and drilled, and relaxed, alternately. After that, some played games, some sun-bathed under the lamps, myself included. I wanted the rays right on that spot on my back which had a "chair-ache." One of the members adjusted my goggles and as I was a newcomer, timed me until I was " done " on all sides. "You'll feel this nicely, tomorrow," he said. I did, too, for I was the same pale pink that one is after one's first sun-bathe in summer.
Then I went back to the refreshment room, drank more tea, and started talking to a group of members. We had a most interesting discussion on naturism. I asked if people with sex obsessions ever joined. Sometimes, was the answer, but when curiosity was satisfied, such folk either dropped out for the classes are very strict and no laxity would be permitted- or became converted to a normal way of thinking.
There are several things the ordinary person wonders about naturism, and we may as well be frank about them and settle them. Sex organs, for instance. Well, there is no having to avoid looking at the opposite sex, out of politeness. You just don't think of them as " men," but more as if you were an innocent boy, yourself, among others the same. Not a single sexy thought entered my head. I did not feel sexually conscious, or shy. I shall never forget that my first reaction to Naturism was one of innocence. I felt good. The childhood longing was satisfied, And when you get a crowd-instinct for goodness, it is very strong, " There cannot be anything wrong with a movement that makes me feel so good," was my thought.
One question women put is, how is it possible to go nude at certain times? You simply wear trunks, then. One girl was wearing them, short, dark, gym. trunks. What about ladies' hand-bags? Do they carry them around? You do as you like. If you think you will want some powder on your nose, you just put the bag somewhere handy, but you are too busy with exercising, talking, and playing games to worry much about powdering your nose.
I had imagined myself leaving the class as early as possible and going home saying to myself " Well, I've done it. I've been to a nudist class." Instead, I was so happy, so contented, so eager to experience more of this freer life, that I became a permanent member, and am looking forward to my next class in a few days' time. If the Editor permits me to step into these pages again, I will give you more details, as I go on.

https://nudistory.substack.com/p/a-1930s-business-womans-first-experience?sd=pf
This post is FREE. There is a subscribe now pop-up I can't remove. You a bypass it by clicking "Continue reading>".
This is an excerpt from the March 1938 issue of the British nudist magazine The Naturist.

I JOIN THE "NUDISTS"

By A BUSINESS GIRL
Let me say straight off that I am not a nudist by inclination. I am inclined to be shy, and prim and proper, greatly due to a very Victorian upbringing by my grandmother, who, for reasons of " modesty," even taught me to undress under cover of my little "nightie."
This modesty, so-called, I have always observed, and have never, even with women friends, been in the habit of walking about completely nude. I have, however, enjoyed an air-bath very often, in the privacy of my own room. But that is as far as it went.
As a matter-of-fact, I have always considered that Naturists went a bit too far, and when I made up my mind to attend a Naturist Clinic, for reasons to be shortly outlined, I worried and bothered and shrank from it as from an ordeal. I hated the thought of going. I loitered along the way until I was late. I nearly fled at the last moment.
All the same, as I was not predisposed to naturism, and not definitely against, I can be regarded as having a fairly open mind, and as such, my opinions may be valuable to those who are wondering about the movement.
Let me tell you that though I have often felt a desire for liberation from the restrictions of ordinary life, I did not know in what manner. When I expressed impatience, my friends told me to go away and get married, but I knew that was not a solution, for one's inner self remains the same after marriage as before. What I yearned for was a sort of spiritual marriage- to be at one again with trees and flowers, as when I was a little child and went wandering in bluebell woods, imagining a nymph or dryad behind every tree, wishing that wee beasties like squirrels and birds would come down and talk to me and not be afraid. Wanting so badly to be at one with myself and the universe. Wanting yes, wanting to be good.
I did not know this was waiting for me when I attended my first Nudist beg pardon I mean Naturist meeting last week. They do not like the word " Nudist," since Nudism alone is not their aim, but only a means to complete freedom. I was persuaded to go by a friend, one of the best persons I know, and I was curious really to find what she, whom I admire as a very high type, could see in going naked" among a lot of other women and men. So I took the plunge, also because I was frightened, I think, as much as anything. I always face up to things which frighten me. It may take me some time, but I do it in the end. (I don't always win, either, but then, I renew the battle later.)
My friend gave me the address of the Clinic, which is also a fully equipped gymnasium, with hot and cold showers, and the latest sun-ray lamps. I had to meet her inside, as our hours of business finished differently. Screwing my courage to the sticking point, I pressed the door-bell. I heard no sound, and wondered timidly if the bell had rung, or if I should ring again, but then steps were heard, and the door opened. A man stood there, keen-faced, and kindly-eyed. He was fully dressed. (' Thank goodness!') I thought, and nearly fled, even then, while he was explaining that the naturist class was held away inside, in very strict privacy, and that was the reason I did not hear the bell ring. It was the proprietor in person. He answers
the door, for obvious sensible reasons. I followed him and found myself looking at several naked men, blinked, looked round, saw my friend coming to meet me, from among a group of naked men and women. One girl I noticed immediately, with a crown of raven hair, and a perfect figure, a veritable goddess. My heart sank! And I, five feet two, with fairly good arms and legs, but thin ribs and a heart that was nearly beating through them, I was so shy and miserable! But I set my teeth. I had determined to be a naturist "for one night only," at any rate; face up to something I was nervous of; and also discover what my friend had found in it all.
Passing through the group, who were in a large, comfy room, a cross between a kitchen and a restroom, with a blazing fire, and a large table covered with refreshments, we went upstairs.
"I can't! I can't take off every stitch of my clothes and go down and face that crowd!" I wailed. "Look over the top of the partition," she said. " Everyone else is without clothes."
I looked. Some were playing badminton. Even in spite of figure faults I noticed how the naked figures, seen together, took on a different aspect from when one sees a single naked body; quite different; like children, playing innocently together; or, like statues come to life.
It was very strange, but that agonising moment of shyness and embarrassment as I was shedding my clothes quite passed as soon as I had joined the other people, It was while I was clothed, I felt shy. As soon as I was like the rest, I felt at ease. I never would have believed one's feelings could change so quickly. It was as if a moment before I had been Tom, the sweep, and now I was Tom, the clean little water-baby.
I drank my cup of tea, which was most refreshing, as I had had a worrying day, and had only taken a cup of cocoa at lunch-time through anxiety over my work. The tea was delicious, so was the glow of the fire on my body. The pretty girl began to talk to me, so did the others. Men looked at me. I looked at them, but I did not feel naked, and I did not feel ashamed. I felt " All right."
Then a call went out for the physical culture class and for an hour we twisted and bent, and marched, and drilled, and relaxed, alternately. After that, some played games, some sun-bathed under the lamps, myself included. I wanted the rays right on that spot on my back which had a "chair-ache." One of the members adjusted my goggles and as I was a newcomer, timed me until I was " done " on all sides. "You'll feel this nicely, tomorrow," he said. I did, too, for I was the same pale pink that one is after one's first sun-bathe in summer.
Then I went back to the refreshment room, drank more tea, and started talking to a group of members. We had a most interesting discussion on naturism. I asked if people with sex obsessions ever joined. Sometimes, was the answer, but when curiosity was satisfied, such folk either dropped out for the classes are very strict and no laxity would be permitted- or became converted to a normal way of thinking.
There are several things the ordinary person wonders about naturism, and we may as well be frank about them and settle them. Sex organs, for instance. Well, there is no having to avoid looking at the opposite sex, out of politeness. You just don't think of them as " men," but more as if you were an innocent boy, yourself, among others the same. Not a single sexy thought entered my head. I did not feel sexually conscious, or shy. I shall never forget that my first reaction to Naturism was one of innocence. I felt good. The childhood longing was satisfied, And when you get a crowd-instinct for goodness, it is very strong, " There cannot be anything wrong with a movement that makes me feel so good," was my thought.
One question women put is, how is it possible to go nude at certain times? You simply wear trunks, then. One girl was wearing them, short, dark, gym. trunks. What about ladies' hand-bags? Do they carry them around? You do as you like. If you think you will want some powder on your nose, you just put the bag somewhere handy, but you are too busy with exercising, talking, and playing games to worry much about powdering your nose.
I had imagined myself leaving the class as early as possible and going home saying to myself " Well, I've done it. I've been to a nudist class." Instead, I was so happy, so contented, so eager to experience more of this freer life, that I became a permanent member, and am looking forward to my next class in a few days' time. If the Editor permits me to step into these pages again, I will give you more details, as I go on.

To start off, sorry if this isn’t the right subreddit for my questions, but other subs have removed my post like gym and gainit so that is why i’m posting here and hoping for advice!
I’m a 15m and have been going to the gym consistently (with some days off due to colds, fatigue etc) for about 5 months. I have noticed my arms getting bigger and my legs, also my back has more muscle showing. Despite this, when Imm not flexing my arms look like they have zero muscle and my torso (back and chest) still looks skinny. I do chest and back on the same day, 2 exercises for each, should I do 3 for each? I also do hammer and bicep curls for arms; what other exercise for arms should I add. Last question, is this ok progress for 5 months or am I doing something wrong?
(p.s i play soccer so I do lots of agility and stuff)

I don't know if my experience was a sa or a sh but I feel like it's not valid as it wasn't a rape I came home one night after hanging out with my friend. When I got home I was talking to my mom and her new bf. And I tried walking away cause I was exhausted. My mom's bf then pulled me backwards by the necklace and pulled me to his lag and started my moving his cough cough lower body. And wouldn't let me move.

I only had one bottle to put my pump into and I had to pump twice while out. The bottle was in a cooler bag on ice after the first pump, and the second pump I was forced to pour into that same bottle - mixing body temp milk and cold milk. Is this safe to give my LO? She’s 9 weeks. I’ve read some mixed reviews.

I need to quit like yesterday but I'm currently vaping 5% and I have a positive pregnancy test. I am not even 4 weeks yet so If I stop soon there will be no damage. With my First I quit cold turkey no problem. This time I'm struggling, any advice on how to start?

Type 1 diabetic. 27 years old 190 pounds. Male. Have had diabetes for a while since 2003 always tried to take care of myself just never worked out. In November of 2022 I was stretching for pelvic floor therapy and started getting a weird sensation in perineum. Since then my life has been hell. With in a few days i had weakness in my legs and then started getting a little numbness on one toe. Things got a little worse but went to 5 neuros and everyone just says diabetes. But it happened suddenly and and spread rapidly. A1c is 9. I am telling this kind of out of order but as of last week I went on a pump. So everyone said it’s diabetic neuropathy personally I think that doesn’t all make sense but I am no doctor. I just guess it is manifesting weird. So I tried pt and accupuncture. Nothing helped. Eventually made my way to a chiropractor. This is when life started really turning to shit. He snapped my cervical and neck and didn’t ask. Since then I have been getting strange temperature sensations throughout body head arms legs etc. sometimes feel like a part of my lower half is kinked like a hose. A weird vibration symptom. Have even felt vibration in my tongue. Sometimes wetness sometimes just feels like someone is sprinkling cold water slightly on me. Especially if I move suddenly etc. even had MRIs done after and they see nothing on entire spine. 5 neuros said diabetic neuropathy. It just typically wouldn’t manifest like this. So sudden so gradual. And everywhere within a month or so it started while stretching and spinal manipulation made it 5x worse. I don’t doubt it’s diabetic neuropathy but is it possible that the Chiro did something they aren’t seeing on MRIs? They’ve already ruled out Ms etc. have done blood work. Even went to rheumatologist. So is there anything that may be causing this other than diabetes? Also is diabetic neuropathy reversible with tight control? Everywhere online says no but I have multiple doctors telling me yes. I hate life right now and just want to get better. Thank you

My mother has blamed me for my physical health issues for the last time,!8 can’t take it, I can’t fucking take it. I am sick because of her, she abused me my entire life, allowed my sisters abuse me, and screamed at me every time I was sexually assaulted. I am 24, I have serious health issues for 10 years, they keep getting worse, I am severely underweight no matter how much I eat, I have severe facial swelling 24/7, I am exhausted, my liver numbers are insane and the pain is terrible, I can’t ever go to the bathroom, I have congestion and a horrible cough 24/7, my hormones are completely out of whack, I have a fungal infection I can’t get rid of. I still go to work and school and participate in m y hobbies and have a social life and live with a roommate and am indeoendent. Yet whenever I get. A positive blood test for anything she tells me I somehow caused it and when I don’t have proof of my symptoms, she tells me I’m an idiot who has no quality of life impacts and is imagining my health issues and needs to stop being self centered and delusional. She also tells r that my sister who has Zdiagnosed POTS has a valid reason to be unhappy/not do a lot but I have no reason because I just make up my health issues. I can’t fucking take it I can’t take it anymore she pretends to be normal until my health comes up and she just goes off telling me I am choosing to be unhappy and I love to pretend to b sick. I have lab tests showing a severely damaged liver, super high growth hormone, as well as documented photos of my severe and constant swelling, and I get winded walking 200 feet. Not to mention all the symptoms I have that don’t have fucking test results. I don’t have diagnoses, most doctors tel me I’m lying. And my mother has spent my entire life telling im an awful person for thinking im sick.

First Previous
Chapter 2: Now Is Found
​
The moment the Into the Black entered Sol, the human’s home system, various transmissions and radio signals poured in. At first, the captain and the rest of the crew thought that humanity was well and truly alive. But upon closer inspection of the deluge of signals they were receiving, they realized they were nothing more than automated warnings, echoes, and ghost signals bouncing around the countless derelict ships, stations, habitats, and arcologies that surrounded nearly every world and moon in the system. The place was a mass grave, far greater than any of the previous systems. In fact, this system was the most developed Ohmata had ever seen. The Galactic Union’s capital is the most advanced system in the GU, and it pales compared to the level of development of the human home system!
The sheer amount of death and destruction was frightening. Entire fleets worth of ships clumped together in the void of space. Their own mass creating a small gravity, pulling them together and fashioning massive hulks. While also creating hazardous clouds of metal debris, more than a few moving fast enough to rip the Black to shreds, should they not be vigilant. Constructs the size of cities floated aimlessly, stuck within the confines of the star’s influence. Mobile defense platforms, which once bristled with the finest weapons humanity could field, lay battered and broken amongst the many wrecks that called Sol home. Humanity did not go down without a fight, that much was for certain. If anyone ever called them cowards, Ohmata would simply show them the recorded footage of their home system to prove the naysayers otherwise.
There looked to be more metal strewn about from the battles and destroyed ships alone than in every GU fleet combined, and more than a few worlds, too. The difference in the ships was obvious. The human vessels were boxy, utilitarian. They did their jobs, and they did them well. Many of which appeared to be nothing more than massive guns someone built a ship around, then put more guns on that.
The Nemesis were different; they weren’t boxy and rigid angles like the humans, but not totally smooth either. They had a far more organic look with multiple bends and curves, but the surfaces seemed to be rough and bumpy, and unlike the human ships, almost none were symmetrical. But though they were asymmetrical, there existed patterns in the various derelicts. As if they were variations of preexisting models, updated and expanded upon with time. In comparison, most GU ships were a happy medium. They had the bends and curves like the Nemesis, but were neatly symmetrical like the human ships.
Looking past the destruction and death, the system was fairly average. Four rocky worlds, four gas giants, and several smaller bodies here and there. The gas giants still had the broken remains of floating cities scattered across them, while their moons contained colonies and stations galore. But what was most interesting were the third and fourth rocky worlds. The fourth one had depressingly little green on it. It was mostly red, with an occasional white streak indicating clouds. It was highly developed, ruined cities ranged across its surface freely. But it bore the marks of war none the less. It would be a prime candidate for collecting samples, as long as the surface wasn’t too hazardous. Humanity did have a fetish for nuclear annihilation towards their end, after all.
The third planet, the third planet was something else. It was a grey husk devoid of life. Its moon had a massive crater denting its facade, with many smaller ones marking its surface. They stood out prominently. Fresh wounds of war contrasted against natural meteor strikes. The debris from the lunar surface and whatever had caused the impact was already starting to form the semblance of a ring around the planet. And like everywhere else, the surrounding space was choked with battle debris, though most had collected in the planet’s “proto ring”. There was so much debris that they could barely scan the planet, and what parts they could get to was so irradiated that a signal couldn’t penetrate from such a distance. Which meant if they wanted to scan the home world of these legendary humans, they would have to get closer. Which, frankly, was currently impossible.
“Nix’Fa, can you maneuver through that debris field?” Ohmata asked, while peering down at her console.
“No ma’am. A shuttle may get through, but it won’t have any of the equipment necessary to scan the planet. At least, not at any reasonable rate,” Nix’Fa replied. She, too, was looking over her console at potential flight paths.
First Lieutenant Qhaax spoke up from her station. “We may not need to actually scan the planet to learn more about humanity, captain. Most of the planet is a flattened, irradiated death pit, but the debris field around it still contains warships from both sides, some in remarkable condition. In fact, several derelicts appear to still have power, even after thousands of years. We may be able to board them using a shuttle and extract data from any intact computer systems we find. And while not exactly human, there is a Nemesis ship relatively close to the edge of the field. It would be a good first target.”
“Then we’ll change our plan to that. Qhaax, contact Kitern and tell her to get her marines suited up, send a techy or two and some researchers with them as well. You’ll have to contact Tentzonta to get her to let some of her engineers loose for once, and Glevar for her researchers. Though you won’t have to convince her, she’ll be jumping at the opportunity. Nix’Fa, start plotting them a course, and we’ll go from there, understood?”
The two responded with a crisp, yes ma’am, and got to work on their respective tasks.
-
“Kitern, can you hear me?” Ohmata’s voice called out from Kitern’s suit’s comms.
“Loud and clear, cap, whatcha need?” Commander Kitern responded as she stowed away several more energy cells for her weapon. She was a digitigrade, feline like mammal known as a Lioranian, with thick paw like hands that held deadly claws within them. They were still thin and nimble enough to manipulate objects accurately, but most importantly, pull a trigger. Her kind also had a slightly elongated snout, long tail, and top forward facing ears. Their eyes were dark, but a few bore mutations which lightened the iris to a sky blue. And their pupils are vertical, but would dilate periodically to give better depth perception and low light visibility. Her species’ coats ranged from a dark tan to a bright yellow gold and had multiple coat patterns of varying intensities. She personally had a dusty tan coat with slight stripe markings originating from her spine, but quickly fading as they reached around to her abdomen and chest.
“You already have a basic rundown about what to do. But I just wanted to remind you, we marked an entrance for you through some old battle damage on a derelict Nemesis ship that is close to the edge of the debris field. Enter, make your way to the power source, secure the area, and set up a pressurized zone if possible so the techies can work in peace. If you can’t, oh well, they can work in their suits. Also, you see anything living, as unlikely as that is, don’t go shooting it. Try to capture or reason with it, but if it does anything stupid, then do what you and your girls do best.”
Kitern smiled maliciously. “Aye, aye, captain. We’ll keep the civvies alive and kick’n, get the goods and be back in no time.”
“Then I leave the rest to you. Oh, try not to mess with the shuttle’s controls while it’s on autopilot this time. It’ll be weaving through a debris field too compact to get the Black into. Any rescue efforts will take a long time, longer than what you’ll have, so don’t touch the throttle like last time!” Ohmata raised her voice jokingly, playfully reminding Kitern of the last time they were on a shuttle together in such conditions.
“Ha! Dontcha worry, I’ll be in the back. Onsa will be in the pilot’s seat for this go. She’s a better flyer anyways,” Kitern played.
“Alright then, get done and come back, preferable alive. Ohmata out.” There was a click as Ohmata closed the channel.
“Hmph, always do.” Kitern had been staring at a random wall while talking to Ohmata. With the call over, she turned to her squad. “Alright girls, get your shit together and get to the shuttle. Oh, and keep your hands to yourself, Hran is coming along, I don’t want any complaints from him, or hands where they shouldn’t be, got it?” she barked, eyeing each of the three other marines, more specifically the youngest two.
“What if he lets us?” one of said marines asked jokingly.
“It’ll be a cold day on Ca’tab before that happens, Asteli,” Kitern replied.
“You never know, we might just wear him down finally, right Gre’Namra?” the perky Venanian replied.
“How many times do I have to tell you? Just call me Namra, and I doubt it. Men like to be wined and dined. Take them out, pay for a fancy meal, maybe buy them something. You know, the usual,” her counterpart, a Drae’Ildan, responded.
Kitern sighed. “Or how about not harassing anyone and act like a decent sentient, you hornbags? Now, shut it and get to the shuttle. Dentala you’ll have your work cut out for you keeping track of these two today.”
“Not as big of a job as keeping track of you, I pity Onsa,” Dentala said as she lifted a heavy kinetic slugger with a red hand, another Venanian.
Kitern chuffed deeply, her species version of a chuckle. “Me too! But, you might wanna put on a glove before we go out. Might help with the whole vacuum thing.” Dentala looked at her hand, surprised that she had forgotten it, before slipping one on. It attached to her bracer and made an airtight seal, forming an armored gauntlet. With that, the four marines left to join their fifth member in the shuttle.
As they left the locker room, Asteli mumbled under her breath. “We wouldn’t do that. We’re not assholes,” she said, addressing Kitern’s assertion of harassment.
“Well, you sound like one,” Gre’Namra replied quietly. After that, they kept their heads down and trudged along with their commanding officer.
A short jaunt later, they were passing through the hangar bay’s airlock. They were greeted by the Black’s only two shuttles. One, small and cramped, meant for scanning dangerous locations that they couldn’t get to with the ship. The second was much larger. It was built to transport supplies and the handful of rovers they had in storage, to make excursions to planets. The smaller shuttle had permanently extended wings and large thrusters on the rear. The larger of the two, simply dubbed Shuttle One, could fold its wings. And had a variety of thrusters located across the ship for better maneuverability in space, and atmospheric thrusters embedded in the center of each wing for flight in atmo. But it also had two large engines in the back for forward thrust, just above its rear ramp.
Walking over to shuttle one, Onsa, the other Lioranian in the squad, was already waiting for them in the pilot’s seat. In the rear seating area were two engineers and two scientists, wearing grey, lightly armored EVA suits that looked to be made of cloth, but were instead a variety of advance polymers and flexible but insulative materials. Most of the helmet was a large, one way transparent material, allowing for increased awareness while sacrificing protection. In comparison, the marine’s helmets had no exterior window, instead a suite of miniature sensors embedded in their black armored helmets allowed them to see through an internal display screen. The helmets appeared to be smooth metal from a distance, only up close could you see the microscopic sensors embedded in them.
The marine’s suits held many of the same features as the civilians, but were black and had thick armored plates over vital areas and on select parts of their extremities, with thinner, non-metal armor segments filling in the gaps. Both suit types had an array of pockets and hideaways, each holding their respective tools of the trade. Regardless of the accessories, or level of protection, each was specially crafted to accommodate for the unique physiologies of the different species.
Had the ship and its equipment not made with each of their species in mind, they would have worn generic multi species suits. Instead of the pre-built features tailored for their specific anatomy, they would be covered with a thick insulated, pliable material that fitted over the horns, tails, and crests and shrank until it was tightly pressed against every nook and cranny. Aside from personalized helmets, each species’ leg sections and gloves/gauntlets catered for whether they were plantigrade, digitigrade, or for how many digits they may possess.
Hran being a male Venanian, had small horns jutting out from his temples. But because his horns were so small, his helmet did not need any special features. Thus was fairly plain. It looked like a sphere that had been slightly squished in on the sides. Unlike the females of his species, who had much larger, curved horns, their helmets were marked with two twin armored segments sticking up like antenna. Otherwise, their helmets were just as “stubby” as his, for their flatter faces. At least, in comparison to the other species onboard.
The Shednae with their elaborate head crests and long faces, had a stubby mohawk like metal protrusion for their crests to fit in, and longer helmets to account for their heads. The Drae’Ildan’s helmets were similar to the Shednae. In fact, they could be mistaken for one another if not for the lack of a head crest. Lastly, the Lioranian helmets were quite plain, aside from the extended “snout” for their slightly longer faces and two nubs to house their ears located on the top of their heads.
Those with tails were likewise afforded a special area to put them, instead of the shrinking material normal for such species. The Shednae have a small knob like space for their short tails. While the Venanians and Lioranians had long thin tails, they could be coiled in the suit. Drae’Ildan suits had a much longer and thicker tail section that looked burdensome but was quite flexible. Their suits were also equipped with a much larger array of sensors to assist them, as the Drae’Ildan’s natural sensory organs were significantly dulled in such tight confines.
“I see the grunts have finally made their appearance. Why did you bother bringing so many guns with you? It’s a derelict that has been floating dead in space for thousands of cycles. There won’t be anything living on board.”, one of the engineers nagged, as the marines ducked into the shuttle. Though her helmet was on, it was clear she was a part of engineering by the orange stripe running along the left of her suite, and left sleeve. Mimicking their uniforms.
“And a fine hello to you Kass, you too, Hran,” Kitern said as she sat down across from the two Venanians and buckled in. Hran simply nodded silently. Kitern continued, “And as for your question, we have no idea what we’ll find. You want to be stuck out in space with no way of protecting yourself if something is there? Yeah, I’m sure it’s empty too. Doesn’t mean I’m taking any chances.” Kass snorted at her reply.
“Shavizi, Jurwa, what about you two, think we’ve over prepared?” Kitern asked the two scientists to her left. Their stripes were blue.
“One can never be too prepared! Though the heavy slugger seems a bit excessive, but as long as you don’t drop it on me, I have no complaints,” Jurwa, a Shednae, said gleefully, practically bouncing in her seat.
“I agree, organic enemies aside. The ship may have automated defenses still functioning. If so, they will have to be dealt with accordingly.” Shavizi added. Yet another Venanian.
“See Kass, they get it,” Kitern grinned smugly underneath her helmet as she leaned back and buckled herself in.
As the others sat down and buckled in, Onsa turned in her seat to see if they were all ready. Everyone confirming they were. She turned back around and started up the shuttle. Quickly putting it into autopilot, but still keeping her hands on the controls just in case. The shuttle slipped out of the bay, passing through the atmospheric retention field, and pitching down and to the left, heading for the derelict Nemesis ship.
As the debris field is so dense and dangerous, the Into the Black was several hundred kilometers away, clear of any potential danger. As such, the trip would take around five minutes before they reached the field, another six to navigate the debris, as it was so hazardous. The Nemesis ship in question was near the edge of the debris field, but still mostly intact, with some power readings emanating from within, a perfect target for research.
-
“We’re coming alongside it now. Once we have successfully magnetized to its hull with the docking clamps, I’ll decompress the shuttle and you can open him up,” Onsa called out, just barely turning her head back in their direction.
Kitern activated her comms so everyone could hear her clearly once the air was siphoned out. “Gotcha. Scans show two distinct points of power readings. Both look to be in the same place, or at least really damn close. We’ll take a right once we get into the ship and follow the corridor until it leads to a three-way intersection. Then we make a left, then a right, and we’ll be on track. The room in question will be along that corridor. Keep your eyes and sensors open for anything that looks Nemesis-y.”
“Oh, like the entire ship?” Kass chimed in.
Kitern rolled her eyes. “Onsa, give a countdown.”
Onsa nodded her head. “Affirmative. Decompression commencing in three… two… one… starting.” There was an audible hiss that slowly faded away as the air in the shuttle was pulled back into storage tanks for later use. “Decompression complete, safe to open the door,” she confirmed over their comms.
“Opening door. Don’t go floating off,” Kitern joked as she pressed a button near the hatch, causing it to slide open silently. Before them was a gaping hole in the side of what looked like a ship that had grown large warts. The human beacons had mentioned that the Nemesis ships weren’t smooth, but the reality was a bit more unsettling up close. The humans weren’t sure why the Nemesis ships were so… bumpy. But they knew it wasn’t actually part of the building process, as newly refurbished or repaired Nemesis vessels lacked the warty exterior. But they had seen no importance in investigating the reason, so it remains a mystery to this day.
Kitern lifted a foot, causing the magnetic lock on that boot to disengage automatically, then re-engage when she put pressure on it. Allowing her to walk forward until she was looking down into the hole. Kitern put a foot on the lip of the shuttle, and bent forward, pushing herself into the opening.
As Kitern floated into the ship, she could see the corridors were circular, with strange partitions along the edges. The partitions didn’t seem to move or close, so she guessed they were more decorative support beams than actual doorways. A second later, she put out a hand to stop herself from colliding with the far wall, and pushed downward, boots magnetizing to the floor. Upon magnetizing, she immediately lifted her weapon. It was a small energy-based firearm, similar in size and function to an SMG.
Looking down both directions of the corridor showed nothing of interest other than more of those strange support beams and closed bulkhead doors on either end. She noted the twisted metal and battle damage in the corridor caused by whatever had impacted the hull.
Before everyone had touched down, she started making her way toward their objective. She continued on until she reached the bulkhead door at the end of the corridor. It was not fully closed, only partially, allowing someone to grip between the two sections and pull them apart. She did just that. As the door slowly opened, Dentala came up behind her and lent her strength to the task. Grunting in exertion, they pulled the door apart until they could easily walk through. Kitern silently fist bumped Dentala on the shoulder in thanks before she continued on, weapon held at the ready.
As they proceeded through the derelict, signs of battle began to appear. At first, it was only a few scorch marks or kinetic impact craters on the wall. Then, what looked like dried blood from some ancient creature. It had aged into a sickly dark green color with a hint of yellow. A quick scan showed that no genetic material could be retrieved, it had long degraded into nothing. Though some sort of information could certainty be gleamed from the stain if they searched long enough, but the sample was unimportant, as it was not a focus of the mission. Pressing on, the signs of battle intensified, as well the amount of spilled blood. At one point, an entire corridor looked like it had been painted in viscera.
The team could only speculate on what had happened. Was it a mutiny? Civil war between surviving Nemesis forces trapped in the Sol system? Or perhaps the humans had something to do with it? But there was one thing on everyone’s mind as they walked through the ancient carnage. Where were the bodies? They hadn’t passed a single corpse yet, just blood stains.
“Captain Kitern, do you suppose we can slow down and so I can scan the ship a bit more? I can’t get a proper reading while moving like this,” Shavizi requested from the back. She had some sort of tool and was waving it back and forth across the surface of the corridor.
“You can scan the ship when we stop, and that will be when we get to those power signals. And once we make sure the place is secure,” Kitern responded, weapon still up at her shoulder as she swept the hallway.
“If that is your order,” Shavizi relented, but still attempted to scan everything they passed, incomplete or not.
It didn’t take long before they arrived at where the Black said the power readings were. They had weaved about the ship a bit more than desired. Several bulkhead doors were completely sealed shut, causing them to detour, but they managed it in the end. They were now standing in front of a large single door; it was nowhere near as large as the bulkhead doors that sealed off entire corridors, but it was large enough to allow passage with room to spare on all sides.
It too bore damage from whatever conflict had occurred within the ship. The door’s access panel was damaged, and the surrounding wall panels warped. Preventing them from directly interacting with the door.
“This is the place; my scanner is already picking up power readings from here. Hran, be a dear and get out the interface tools. We’ll see if this door has power first, instead of brute forcing our way through first thing,” Kass stated. Hran silently carried out his orders, unpacking a variety of tools they may need.
After pulling off several of the panels to see if they allowed access to the door’s wiring, they eventually found the right one. Sadly, a closer inspection revealed that the door, like nearly the entire ship, had no power, meaning it couldn’t be opened by the press of a button like they wanted.
“Oh well, do what you do best, Kitern,” Kass shrugged as she and Hran began packing up their tools.
“Eh, worth a shot. Privates, if you please,” Kitern motioned to the door for the two young marines to take a crack at it. They both replied with a crisp, yes ma’am, and quickly got to work trying to pry open the door.
It took a little more effort than they thought, but over time it slowly slid further and further open, until Gre’Namra wedged herself in between the door and frame, and used her entire body to push it open. Asteli joined in when it widened enough for the both of them. Together, they pushed it fully open, the door slowly recessing into the wall. Revealing an old dusty room with several long bed-like pods.
“Thank you, girls. Now clear the room while you’re at it. Though by now any baddies would have chewed you up,” Kitern ordered. The two did just that. Thankfully, the entire room could be seen from the doorway, so there really wasn’t any clearing. Just looking behind the pods for anything not so friendly.
During their little search, they noticed one bed had several lights flickering on its side. They pointed it out to the others. Immediately, Kass and Shavizi pushed them aside to get to it. Drooling over it like children being offered sweets.
“I wonder what this is?! After so many thousands of years, it still has power. I thought those beacons were incredible enough, but this is something else!” Kass said to no one in particular.
Shavizi had been scanning the bed, as well as its neighbors, while Kass looked it over. “Hmm. The pods have a sliding covering that encloses the occupants. All the others are open, yet this one is closed.” Shavizi tapped at her scanner a bit. “Wait… the other energy signature… it’s coming from inside it!” she said astonished, while moving a hand over the top of the slid that covered the pod. As she did, thousands of years’ worth of dust floated away from where she dragged her hand. Allowing a small amount of light to break free from within.
Noticing this, Shavizi leaned forward and peered inside the pod. Her eyes went wide as her mind tried to make sense of what she was seeing. “GET BACK! DON’T TOUCH IT!” she screamed, but was too late. Kass, who was now crouched down near the base of the bed, had pressed a finger to one of the flickering lights just as Shavizi yelled her warning. All Kass had time to do was turn her head up and mutter a confused, “huh?”, before the covering of the pod slid open, unleashing its occupant onto the galaxy.
First Previous
Hello once again! First things first. If you see the name Osan, please point it out to me. It is supposed to be Onsa, but the program I use to write the story changed the name to Osan for some reason. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the cliffhanger! This chapter is meant to help further detail the various species and their features, and of course set up for many things to come!
Also, in my last story. I had a lot of flashback sequences to add in fluff and give backstory to the MC. While I don't want overuse it in this story, I do want to have flashback esque sequences that are basically just battles of the Human-Nemesis war (recorded combat footage recovered from human ships and installations), introduce new characters, or maybe give further development to preexisting characters. The flashback sequences will be called Orphan: Tales of the Past and won't begin until a certain point in the main story. Once that point is reached, the side stories will pop up every once in a while in place of the main story chapters. Or, if I fell as if its safe to push the story ahead, you'll get the main story and a side story in one week.
That's it for the week folks! See you next week!

I posted here maybe last week I think. That day I picked up, and I’ve been stoned ever since.
Today has officially been the first day, with zero weed. But, this is only because my guy is all out.
I’m unsure how to approach this, I suffer depression/anxiety and did before I ever started using weed. I’ve been trying to get tested for BPD as I believe my feelings/actions/emotions are more complex. I’ve been trying to get further tests etc but if you’re from the UK you’ll understand our NHS is on its knees, as well as our shit country.
Weed allows me to feel amazing. Not a bad thought, no self doubt, no self hate, just nothing. And that’s the way I like it, or it’s the way I’m used to.
I am expected to get a little amount on Thursday, just for one night. I don’t think cold Turkey will benefit me. I’d rather limit the times I smoke, for example, not smoking whilst working (I work from home and type tweets).
What works best for you? Surely there’s someone out their as mentally fucked as me wanting to quit? I need help please. It also doesn’t help my guy lives a few doors down.

Let me start by saying that I’ve been addicted to nicotine for 13 years now. I started by smoking cigarettes and when vapes came around a few years after that I started doing both, but then salt nic hit the market and it completely ruined me. I became sooooo f*ucking addicted to vaping after the Juul. Cigarettes weren’t as strong as the vape. I finally decided that enough is enough. I’m not some high school teen and huffing a robot in public is a bad look and very shameful. I set out to quit. I got through the first 2-3 days which is what everyone says is the hardest part. Every time I got the urge to hit the vape, I did some push-ups or went for a walk if I could and to tire myself out I went for runs in the night so that I could sleep. So the first few days weren’t too bad. Now, I’m on day 6, cold turkey, and I’m getting this weird feeling, I don’t feel like myself. Let me explain a little more in detail. I feel like this is not happening, I don’t feel real. Everything is fuzzy I’m in a dream state. It’s like I’m high but not a good high I just feel off. I’m looking at my fingers typing this and its like they’re just working on autopilot. I hate this feeling and it scares me. I can’t focus I can’t do anything. My day to day requires me to work with a lot of numbers and important information. I can’t seem to find a way to focus. I can’t find a way to feel like myself again. Is this part of it? Is this normal? I don’t think I can continue like this I’m at the end of my road here with this. Does this get better? Anyone else have this issue?

I have been experiencing varying levels of ED for a while now and only just after stumbling upon this sub have I realized that my daily port regiment is absolutely the cause of my PIED.
I am no day #4 going cold turkey. So far so good I guess :-/

1. Where it is easy to draw the line at physically viewing material, and masturbating too often, what about running through fantasies in your head? I assume that is discouraged too? For years, I have put myself to sleep at night running through any of dozens of fantasies in my head. This I am finding is by far, the most difficult to suppress. My sleep quality is suffering greatly which is quite surprising to me.
2. This may be very subjective, but what qualifies as porn? Here on reddit for example, I am subscribed to a few typically non-porn subs of just hot celebs on the red carpet or all dressed up sexy-like. No nudity, no sex, but it still blurs that line for me since it brings about sexual-like feelings. DO people typically swear off these types of things too? (I am intentionally not linking them here for fear of a trigger warning)
3. I have found myself conflicted though, when my wife and I get flirty in bed and engage in sex. I feel like I am guilty of things I really question if I should be or not while engaging in actual sex et al. Where is this proverbial line?

Thanks for everything everyone! I have found great inspiration in this sub so far

I once had a small sip of beer two decades ago, am I a raging alcoholic and have I ruined everything? Should I bother continuing to optimise? Do I have any hope?
Please when you respond can you ensure you don’t bold your text as it increases my dopamine. Thanks.