Best pet insurance seattle wa
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2015.11.29 07:41 BetterBully pet insurance reviews
Pet insurance reviews and ratings. We discuss the best pet insurance and review popular plans.
2014.02.03 06:37 pauliedigi Seattle City Hall
/SeattleCityHall is a place for citizens, leaders, and media of Seattle, Washington to share and discuss civic issues. Submit news, ideas, questions, complaints, or anything other issues citizens, government leaders and media of Seattle should care about.
2012.01.31 17:23 invno1 a place with a mall
Lynnwood, Washington is a commuter city/bedroom community. A northern suburb of Seattle, WA and at the same time a southern suburb of Everett, WA. It is most notable for the Alderwood Mall, the largest (and we would argue *best*) mall in the area. Lynnwood is only about 4 miles from the Puget Sound and about 70 from great skiing, hiking, and other outdoor activities in the North Cascades.
2023.03.21 19:36 funeraltemplate GREY AND BURGUNDY ELEGANT HALF-PAGE FUNERAL PROGRAM TEMPLATE
2023.03.21 19:33 tbgmdhc278 ILPT Request: Pet insurance covering a pre-existing condition
So my cat got diagnosed with urinary crystals and was put on a prescription diet. We got Spot Pet Insurance the next day after we got the results back. Spot covers prescription diets, so that’s not the issue. But I had my vet give me all of his medical records, and I changed the dates on all of it down to the exact font and pixel position. I also got the invoice from his prescription order on Chewy.com and changed the date on that. Is this enough? Will they contact my vet if I’ve already given them all the medical records already myself?
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2023.03.21 19:32 autotldr Judge rejects Trump legal team's request to delay NY AG's civil trial
This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 49%. (I'm a bot)
Summary Source FAQ Feedback Top keywords: Trump#1 lawsuit#2 Attorney#3 statements#4 General#5
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A judge declined Tuesday to move the trial date for a civil lawsuit filed against former President Donald Trump, his eldest children and his company by New York Attorney General Letitia James, alleging they duped banks and insurers by inflating the value of Trump's real estate portfolio.
Trump's legal team sought the delay but Judge Arthur Engoron said there was no need to postpone what he called a "Seemingly simple case" of whether Trump's disclosures to his lenders and insurers, known as statements of financial condition, were accurate or not.
The attorney general's office filed a $250 million civil lawsuit in September alleging the Trumps altered the values of their holdings to suit different business purposes like arranging loans or applying for tax breaks.
The lawsuit accused them of engaging in "Numerous acts of fraud and misrepresentation in the preparation of Mr. Trump's annual statements of financial condition" that overstated the values of nearly every major property in the Trump portfolio over at least a 10-year period.
"A triplex apartment is worth less money if it's 11,000, not 30,000 square feet," referring to an allegation in the state's 214-page complaint that Trump overvalued his apartment in Trump Tower.
Trump is defending himself in the civil suit as he awaits a possible criminal indictment.
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2023.03.21 19:32 EchoJobs Hopper is hiring (Remote) Senior Software Engineer, APAC Remote Seattle, WA US [AWS GCP Microservices Scala API Machine Learning]
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2023.03.21 19:30 EchoJobs PitchBook is hiring Sr. Cybersecurity Engineer USD 111k-188k Seattle, WA US [Python Node.js Java Kubernetes Docker Terraform AWS]
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2023.03.21 19:30 imgonnadielolhhaha Big boobs
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2023.03.21 19:29 bogbodybutch Me showing Mango her new egg quota after her vet visit 🥚
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2023.03.21 19:29 MirkWorks City & Soul by James Hillman
5
From Mirror to Window: Curing Psychoanalysis of its Narcissism
The apparently individual conflict of the patient is revealed as a universal conflict of his environment and epoch. Neurosis is thus nothing less than an individual attempt, however unsuccessful, to solve a universal problem. - C.G. Jung (1912)
Narcissism is now the rage, the universal diagnosis. In Freud's world, the new attention was on conversion hysteria; in Bleuler's, on dementia praecox. Earlier we find all ills attributed to the English malady, to the spleen, to hypochondriasis, to melancholia, to chlorosis; in Paris, a myriad of phobies and délires. Different time and places, different syndromes.
Narcissism has its theoreticians - Kohut, Kernberg, Lacan - and modern Jungians are following the rage. The collective consciousness of psychology makes us collectively unconscious, much as Jung said when writing about the collective ideas in his day. Being "with it" also means being in it. The epidemic diagnosis Narcissism states that the condition is already endemic to the psychology that makes the diagnosis. It sees narcissism because it sees narcissistically. So let us not take this diagnosis so literally, but place it within the historical parade of Western diagnoses.
Eminent cultural critics - Karl Krauss, Thomas Szasz, Philip Rieff, Christopher Lasch, Paul Zweig, and the notorious Dr. Jeffrey Masson - have each seen that psychoanalysis breeds a narcissistic subjectivism inflicting on the culture an iatrogenic disorder, that is, a disease brought by the methods of the doctors who would cure it.
I shall continue their line of thought, but I shall use a method that Wolfgang Giegerich has so brilliantly exposed in many of his papers. If depth psychology itself suffers from a narcissistic disorder, then what we analysts need first to probe is the unconscious narcissism in analysis itself. Our first patient is neither the patient nor ourselves, but the phenomenon called "analysis" that has brought us both to the consulting room.
The term "Narcissism" is probably British. Havelock Ellis is credited with its invention, though Freud gave us its psychoanalytic meaning. What did Freud say? As I go through some of his descriptions, let us hear them narcissistically, as self-referents, descriptive of psychology and of ourselves in psychology.
1917: "We employ the term narcissism in relation to little children and it is to excessive narcissism of primitive man that we ascribe his belief in the omnipotence of his thoughts and consequent attempts to influence the course of events in the other world by magical practices." Does not analysis have this primitive omnipotence fantasy of influencing events in the outer world by its magical practices? The omnipotence of subjective reflection is attested to by many classic Jungians like Harding, Bernard, Meier, von Franz, Baumann, etc. As Jung himself says, we are each "the makeweight that tips the scales" that determine the outcome of world history." The rituals of self-engagement remove projections from the world so that, supposedly, the world itself is transformed by psychoanalysis.
1922: "... narcissistic disorders are characterized by a withdrawal of the libido from objects." The withdrawal of the libido from from objects - I ask you to remember this statement. We shall come back to it.
1925: Freud describes three historic blows to humankind's narcissism. These, he says, are the cosmological blow of Copernicus, the blow of Darwinian evolutionary theory, and the psychoanalytic blow (of Freud) which wounded the omnipotence fantasy, or narcissism, of the ego as sole self-willed ruler. Here, psychoanalysis becomes itself a giant omnipotence fantasy, a creation myth of our culture equivalent with astronomy and biology, promulgating itself with narcissistic grandeur.
This pronouncement appears in Freud's discussion on resistance to psychoanalysis. By means of this idea resistance, analysis brilliantly maintains its invulnerability to criticism. Questioning the validity of analysis is impugned as resistance to it. Even more: the very attacks demonstrate resistance and therefore help to validate analytical theory. As Freud says, "The triumph of narcissism, the ego's victorious assertion of its own invulnerability. It refuses to be hurt by the arrows of reality ... It insists that it is impervious to wounds dealt by the outside world."
Later Freud considered narcissism not to be rooted in love at all, i.e., as self-love, but to be rather a defense against aggressive impulses. Let us consider for a moment the value of "aggressive impulses," at least and at best they take the object, the world out there, into account: I feel enraged about societal injustice, nuclear danger, media crap, industrial callousness, the corporate mind, political ideologues, hideous architecture, etc. But, owing to my narcissistic defenses against the involving call of aggression, I go to the spa, work out, meditate, jog, diet, reduce stress, relax my body armor, improve my orgasms, get a new hairstyle, and take a vacation. And see my therapist: very expensive, very good for me, because he or she devotes complete attention to my problems, especially our transferential frame. Instead of the world and my outrage, I work on my analysis, myself, the Self. This Self, too, fits a narcissistic definition: "the incorporation of grandiose object images as defense against anxiety and guilt" or, as Fenichel puts it, one feels oneself in "reunion with an omnipotent force, be that force an archetype, a god or goddess, the unus mundus, or the numinosity of analysis itself.
Freud's paper "On Narcissism" states that both introspection and conscience or "being watched" derive from and serve narcissism. Yet, psychotherapy practices self-scrutiny as the principal method in its treatment and "being watched" or supervision as the principal component of its training. A candidate goes to hour after hour of institutionalized narcissism of watching and being watched.
The institutionalization of narcissism in our profession - the idea of resistance, the idealization of the Self, the practices of introspection and supervision, the omnipotence fantasies about its own importance in world history, its technique of referring all events back to itself as the vessel, the mirror, the temenos, the frame - bears immediately upon that central obsession of analysis today, transference.
*
By transference, here, I mean that self-gratifying analytical habit which refers the emotions of life to the analysis. Transference habitually deflects object libido, that is, love for anything outside analysis, into a narcissistic reflection upon analysis. We feed analysis with life. The mirror that walks down the road of life (Flaubert) replaces the actual road, and the mirror no longer reflects the world, only the walking companions. They may as well have stayed indoors, less distracted by the trees and the traffic.
The principal content of analytical reflection as transference is the child we once were, a fact which accords with Freud's observation that the object choice of the narcissist is "someone he once was.” This helps account for the faddish popularity of Alice Miller’s writings. Her idealized children exhibit what Freud said: the narcissist is “not willing to forego his narcissistic perfection in his childhood” and “seeks to recover the early perfection.” The focus on childhood traps the libido only further into subjectivity, and therefore we must recognize that erotic compulsions in analysis are produced primarily by the analysis, rather than by the persons. Analysis acts itself out through them quite impersonally so that they often feel betrayed and ashamed by the impersonality of the emotions they undergo and are unable to recognize that what they are suffering is the object libido trying to find a way out of analysis. Instead, the narcissistic viciousness of our theory says that transference emotions are compelling the persons to go deeper into analysis.
Let us recognize that the other person - patient or analyst - embodies the only possibility within an analysis to whom object libido can flow. The person in the other chair represents cure of analytical narcissism simply by being there as an Other. Moreover, the patient for the analyst and the analyst for the patient become such numinous objects because they have also been tabooed as libidinal possibilities. Analyst and patient may not act their desire for each other. The narcissism of the situation makes them absolutely necessary to each other, while the taboo sets them absolutely outside of each other. This outside object however, is also inside the analysis. So, patient for doctor and doctor for patient become the symbolic mode of ending analysis by means of love.
Of course, the persons are often torn by what Freud calls the love dilemma of the narcissistic patient: “the cure by love,” which he generally refers to as cure by analysis. We must ask whether this neurotic choice, as Freud calls it, arises from the narcissisms of the patient or from the narcissism of the analytical system in which the patient is situated. After all, the fantasy of an opposition between love and analysis occurs within the prior fantasy of cure which has brought the persons together in the first place.
By elaborating ethical codes, malpractice insurance, investigations, and expulsions that blame the participants, analysis protects itself from wounding insights about its own narcissism. The vulnerability of analysis - that its effectiveness is always in question, that it is neither science nor medicine, that it is aging into professional mediocrity and may have lost its soul to power years ago despite its idealized language by growth and creativity (a language by the way, never used by its founders) - this vulnerability is overcome by idealizing the transference.
As well as transference love, there is also hatred. Perhaps the client’s hatred of the analyst and the hatred of the analyst for the client are also not personal. Perhaps, these intense oppressive feelings against each other arise in both to present both with the fact that they are in a hateful situation: the object libido hates the attachment of transference. Analysis hates itself in order to break the narcissistic vessel imprisoning the libido that would go out into the soul in the world.
The horned dilemmas of transference, including the analyst’s stare into the mirror of his own counter-transference, the feelings of love and hatred, this agony and ecstasy and romantic torture convince the participants that what is going on is of intense importance: first, because these phenomena are expected by the theory and provide proof of it, and second, because these phenomena re-enact what analysis once was in its own childhood in Vienna and Zurich, analysis in primary fusion with its origins in Breuer and Freud and Jung, in Dora and Anna and Sabina. The feelings are cast in therapeutic guise because this is the healing fiction of the analytic situation. In other words, transference is less necessary to the doctor and the patient than it is to analysis by means of which it intensifies its narcissistic idealization, staying in love with itself. We therapists do not sit in our chambers so many hours a day only for the money, or the power, but because we are addicted to analytical narcissism. Our individual narcissism is both obscured and reinforced by the approved narcissism of the analytical profession.
When one partner imagines a tryst or the other imagines resisting a seduction, or when either imagines that love is a solution to misery, then they are framed in the romantic conflicts of Madame Bovary, Wuthering Heights, and Anna Karenina, reconstituting the Romanticisms of the nineteenth century and the origins of psychoanalysis, not in your or my personal childhoods, but in its own cultural childhood. This means we have to locate the narcissism of contemporary analysis within a much wider narcissism: the Romantic movement.
*
Literary tradition differentiates at least four principal traits of this genre. We have already spoken of one, “idealization of the love object.” And indeed analysis idealizes the patient as an “interesting case,” “difficult patient,” “good patient,” “borderline personality.” Or consider all the literary fabulations that have made patients into eternal literary figures - Dora, Ellen West, Babette, Miss Miller, Wolfman, Ratman, Little Hands, all the way to Freud and Jung themselves in the novels The White Hotel and The House of Glass. Think of the Romanticism of our theoretical constructs: Love and Death, Empathy, Transformation, Growth, The Child, The Great Mother, The Mirror, Desire and Jouissance, and the Transitional Object. In the patient there takes place such idealized events as a hieros gamos, a quest for self-discovery and a journey into wholeness. Synchronicities outside of causal laws, transcendent functions, integration of the shadow and the realization of the Self on whom the future of civilization depends. We record our idealization of the love object, i.e., analysis, in taped and filmed analytic sessions, paying meticulous and expensive attention to trivial conversations and gestures. Analysis is in love with its idealized image.
A second essential trait of Romanticism is said to be the opposition between bourgeois society and the inner self that, with its dreams, desires and inspirations, tends to oppose, even contradict, the outer world of usual things. Psychoanalysis from its beginnings imagines itself fundamentally opposed to the civilization and its institutions of religion, family, medicine, and the political community disdained as “the collective.” Freud’s emphasis on himself as Jew and hence marginal, as well as Jung’s favorite position as heretical old hermit (despite the bourgeois lives they led and values they held) still shapes the imagination of the profession and distorts its relation to the ordinary world.
Third, imprisonment another basic theme in Romanticism, especially French and Russian. In Dostoevsky’s The Possessed, Maria’s song says: “This tiny cell suffices me, there I will dwell my soul to save.” The consulting room provides the confining physical place for the psychic imprisonment of analysis as such its devotion to the secret nooks and crannies of the private world, decorating with reconstructive rococo (i.e., psycho-dynamic intricacies) the narcissistic cell of personality.
Fourth, the Romantic genre has been defined as one that simultaneously seeks and postpones a particular end. This fits therapy. Its entire procedure seeks to restore the person to the world, yet postpones this return indefinitely. (Meanwhile, do not make major changes in your actual life. Don’t act out. The cure of analysis becomes more analysis-another analyst, another school - and the improvement of training becomes ever more hours.) The simultaneity of seeking and postponing an end occurs in the basic conundrum of every analysis, its contradictory two commandments: encourage the desires of the unconscious (Thou Shall Not Repress) and forbid gratification (Thou Shall Not Act Out). Our work is with the libidinous and our method is by way of abstention. The end is unforeseeable; there is no completion. Analysis interminable, as Freud said. This is the Romanticism of eternal longing.
There is no way out of Romanticism’s consulting room and the subjectivism of its eros, unless we turn to what is beyond its purview, turn to what narcissism and romanticism leave out: the objects, the unidealized, immediately given, actual world of dull and urban things. By turning psychological attention from the mirror of self-reflection to the world through the window, we release “object libido” to seek its goal beyond narcissistic confinement in analysis. For “object libido” is but a psychoanalytic name for the drive which loves the world, the erotic desire for Anima Mundi, for Soul in the World.
Perhaps it becomes clearer why I have been emphasizing John Keats’s remarkable phrase; “Call the world … The vale of Soul-making. Then you will find out the use of the world.” Also, you will understand why I have held myself back from that side of Jung which expounds upon meaning, Self, individuation, unus mundus, wholeness, mandalas, etc. . These large and introverted ideas envelop me and usually my patients with a grandiose, invulnerable aura. As well, I keep a distance from the current Kohut craze and Lacanian mystique. Although recognizing narcissism as the syndrome of the times (even if the groundwork for this was prepared long ago in the metaphysical catastrophe of Augustinian and Cartesian subjectivism); yet, Kohut attempts its cure by the same means of narcissistic obsession: an ever more detailed observation of subjectivity. And a subjectivity within the oppressive confines of a negatively reconstructed childhood. The child archetype dominates contemporary therapy, keeping patients (and analysts) safe from the world. For this archetype feels always endangered by the actual world, lives not in the present but in futurity, and is addicted to its own powerless infantilism. By so focusing on the child, analysis disenfranchises itself from wider realm of soul-making in the adult community of polis.
Nevertheless I must confess to a serious long-standing error on my part regarding Keats’s phrase. I always considered the world out there to be useful for making one’s own soul. Narcissism again. My soul, your soul - not its soul. For the Romantics, however, ensouling the world was a crucial part of their program. They recognized the traps of narcissistic subjectivity in their vision. Hence, they sought the spirit in physical nature, the brotherhood of all mankind or Gemeinschaftsgefühl, political revolution, and a return to the classic gods and goddesses, attempting to revivify the soul of the world with pantheism.
We must therefore read Keats as saying we go through the world for the sake of its soul-making, thereby our own. This reading suggests a true object libido, beyond narcissism, in keeping with Otto Fenichel’s definition of love. Love can only be called such when “one’s own satisfaction is impossible without satisfying the object too. If the world is not satisfied by our going through it, no matter how much beauty and pleasure our souls may receive from it, then we live in its vale without love.
There is a way out, or I wouldn’t be standing here. For my specific style of narcissism, my pose before the mirror, today is heroic. My style insists on resolution of the issues raised. The method I shall be using here follows the method which I usually empty for resolving issues. First, we look back into the history of psychoanalysis for a model; second, we turn to some peculiar bit of pathologizing for a clue; and third, we resolve problems by dissolving them into images and metaphors.
So, let us turn back to the first psychoanalytic case, Anna O., and her doctor, Josef Breuer, who, with Freud, wrote Studies in Hysteria. As you recall, after a year of almost daily sessions often of several hours, he suddenly terminated. You recall also the intensity of her transference, that she developed a hysterical pregnancy and childbirth, after Breuer tried to end the treatment. He, according to Jones, after a final visit to her “fled the house in a cold sweat. The next day he and his wife left for Venice to spend a second honeymoon which resulted in the conception of a daughter.” Whether fact or not, and Ellenberger says not, the fantasy shows a founding patron of our work escaping both cure by analysis and cure by love for the beauty of Venice and the conception of a daughter. His object libido returns from the oppressive narcissism of psychoanalysis to the Romanticism of the wider world.
This wide world remains merely that, merely a place of escape or acting out, so long as the world “out the window” is imagined only in the Cartesian model as sheer res extensa, only dead matter. To show more vividly how that world is, as Keats said, a place of soul, let us go straight through the window into the world. Let us take a walk in a Japanese garden, in particular the strolling garden, the one with water, hills, trees, and stones. While we walk, let us imagine the garden as an emblem for the peripatetic teacher or the therapeutic guide (psychopompos), the world itself as psychoanalyst showing us soul, showing us how to be in it soulfully.
I turn to the garden and to Japan because of insights given while in Kyoto gardens several years ago, and also because the garden as metaphor expresses some of the deepest longings - from Hesperides, to Eden’s paradise, and Maria’s hortus inclusus - for the world as home of the soul. So by entering into the Japanese garden now we shall be stepping through the window into the anima mundi.
First we notice that the garden has no central place to stand and view it all. We can but scrutinize a part at a time. Instead of overview and wholeness, there is perspective and eachness. The world changes as we move. Here a clump of iris, there a mossy rock. Instead of a center (with its etymological roots in the Greek kentron, “goad” or “prick,” and being compelled toward a goal by means of abstract geometric distancing), there are shifts of focus relative to the body’s location and attitude.
Second: as one strolls, each vista is seen again from a different perspective. The maple branching down to the pond edge, the floating leaves appear less melancholic after the path bends. These shifts of seeing again are precisely what the word “respect” means. To look again is to “respect.” Each time we look at the same thing again, we gain respect for it and add respect to it, curiously discovering the innate relation of “looks” - of regarding and being regarded, words in English that refer to dignity.
Third: when the garden, rather than the dream or the symptom or the unconscious, becomes the via regia of psyche, then we are forced to think anew about the word “in.” “In” is the dominant preposition of all psychoanalysis - not with, not from, not for, but “in.” We look in our souls, we look in a mirror. "In” has been utterly literally, as an invisible, spacelesss psychic stuff inside our skins, or meanings inside our dreams and symptoms, or the memories locked in the past. Interiority of the garden, however, is wholly present and wholly displayed. “In” holds the meanings of included, engaged, involved, embraced. Or, as Jung said, the psyche is not in us; we are in the psyche. This feeling of being in the psyche becomes most palpable when inside the ruins of a Greek temple, in an Egyptian tomb of a king, in a dance or a ritual, and in a Japanese garden. Jung’s phrase “esse in anima” takes on concreteness then, as it does in a clear-cut forest, a bombed city, a cancer ward, a cemetery. Ecology, architecture, interior design are other modes of feeling the anima mundi. Instead of the usual notion of psyche in body, the body strolling through the garden is in the psyche. The world itself is a psychic body; and our bodies as we move, stand, look, pause, turn, and sit are performing an activity of psychic reflection, an activity we formerly considered only mentally possible in the mirror of introspection.
Fourth: the idea of individuality also changes, for in the Japanese garden trees are trimmed at the top and encouraged to grow sideways. Rather than an individuality of the lone tree, towering (and Jung said the single tree is a major symbol of the individuating Self), these trees stretch their branches toward others. Individuality is within community and, takes its definition from community. Furthermore, each tuft in the soft branches of the pine trees is plucked by gardeners. They pull out needles, allowing emptiness to individualize the shape of each twig. It is as if nothing can be individualized unless it is surrounded by emptiness and yet also very, very close to what it is most like. Individuality is therefore more visible within the estrange separateness and close similarity, for instance, of family than in trying to be “different” from family.
Fifth: not only are aged trees supported with crutches and encouraged to flower - blossoming belonging therefore not only to youth - but also the garden includes dead trees. What more wounds our narcissism than these images of old age, these crutched, dependent, twisted and dead trees? < “At least Aurora didn’t reject Tithonus, old, didn’t allow him to lie there lonely in the House of Dawn. She often fondled him, descending into her waters, before she bathed her yoked horses with care. She, when she rested in his arms, by neighbouring India, lamented that day returned too soon.”>
Sixth: the Karesanui gardens, or Zen-inspired gardens, present mainly white sand and found stones, rarely trees. In this bare place the mind watches itself making interpretations. The nine rocks in the raked sand are a tiger family swimming through the sea; the nine rocks are mountain tops peaking through white mist and clouds; the nine rocks are simply rocks, aesthetically placed with genius. One legend after another, one philosophy, theory or literary criticism, or psychological interpretation rises to the mind and falls back into the white sand. The garden becomes wholly metaphor, both what it is and what it is not, presence and absence at once. The concrete koan of the rock garden transforms the mind itself into metaphor, its thought transient while image endures, so that the mind cannot identify with its own subjectivism - narcissism overcome.
‘“Hegel introduces this notion of ‘oppositional determination” in his logic of essence, when he discusses the relationship between identity and difference; his point there is not only that identity is always the identity of identity and difference, but that difference itself is also always the difference between itself and identity; in the same way, it is not only necessity that encompasses both itself and contingency, but also - and more fundamentally - it is contingency itself which encompasses both itself and necessity. Or, with regard to the tension between essence and appearance, the fact that essence has to appear within the domain of appearances, as a hint that “appearances are not all” but are “merely appearances.”’ - Zizek, Less than Nothing>
*
Finally, I shall insist that the garden is not natural; nor is psyche natural. The garden was designed and is tended to maintain an artificiality that imitates nature. In Fort Worth, Texas, a large and marvelous Japanese garden was constructed years ago. But since adequate funds were not set aside for gardeners from Japan, nature slowly destroys that garden. Without the pruners’ perverted twist to each inch of nature, the garden declines into merely another part of the forest. A garden’s elaborate display of soul-in-the-world is an opus contra naturam, like alchemy. Like alchemy, the garden is a work of intense culture. Unlike alchemy, its matter, its body, is out there, rather than inside the glass vessel.
Because the garden is artificial, as the alchemist was called artifex, all conceptions of soul must be plucked of naturalistic fallacies. The soul as opus contra naturam will not be served adequately by fallacious comparisons with organic growth, cyclical process, and myths of nature goddesses. Nor does the garden shelter the child from which grows the creative person as psychotherapy is found to believe. By insisting upon the artificiality of our work with soul, I am trying to keep us from the Romantic error of confusing the ideal (Eden and the Elysian fields; Horaiko, in Japanese) with the natural. The garden as metaphor offers a romantic vision that saves us from Naturalistic Romanticism by twisting and sophisticating nature through art.
This twist to nature that wounds idealizations of garden is presented in our culture, as in Roman culture, by our ancient god of gardens and gardeners, Priapus. Priapus is neither young nor beautiful. Unlike lovely Narcissus, unlike the semi-divine figures of Adam and Eve, Priapus is mature, bald and paunchy, and so distorted that his mother, Venus, deserted him at birth. His very presence repels romantic idealizations and the gaze into the mirror of Venusian vanity as well as Narcissus’s rapt reflection. Priapic reflection starts the other way around; his preposterous swollen condition reflects the vitality of the world. The same force displays in him as in the buds and germinating pods. By means of distortion which deceptively seems “only natural,” Priapus invites the grotesque pathologized disproportions of imagination - and imagination, says Bachelard, works by deformation.
So, when I invoke Priapus, I am not speaking of priapismus; I am not speaking of machismo; and I am not anti-feminine. Let me be quite clear. I am speaking of the generative artificiality that is the essence of the garden and of the psyche. Each dream, each fantasy, and each symptomatic complication of natural health and normative humanity bears witness to the psyche’s libidinal pleasure in exaggeration, its fertile genius for imaginative distortion. If this god of gardens is also a god of psychoanalysis - and from Charcot through Lacan the priapic has been invoked - he brings to its work an archaic reflex beyond the romantic or baroque, a rousing urgency forward and outward. (Priapus was not permitted indoors in Hestia’s closed rooms where his presence becomes only violent and obscene.)
Moreover, this god needs no mirror to know himself, for his self is wholly displayed. His nature cannot be concealed within, so he is quite free of hidden meanings and subtle innuendos that keep psychoanalysis hopefully addicted to one more revelation, one more transformation, interminable. Priapus knows no metamorphosis, no transfigurations. Priapus is without ambiguity; metaphor is forbidden to him; he displays all, reveals nothing. Like the garden, all there. The rocks are the rocks.
<"And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it." - Matthew 16:18>
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From Mirror to Window: Curing Psychoanalysis of its Narcissism
The apparently individual conflict of the patient is revealed as a universal conflict of his environment and epoch. Neurosis is thus nothing less than an individual attempt, however unsuccessful, to solve a universal problem. - C.G. Jung (1912)
Narcissism is now the rage, the universal diagnosis. In Freud's world, the new attention was on conversion hysteria; in Bleuler's, on dementia praecox. Earlier we find all ills attributed to the English malady, to the spleen, to hypochondriasis, to melancholia, to chlorosis; in Paris, a myriad of phobies and délires. Different time and places, different syndromes.
Narcissism has its theoreticians - Kohut, Kernberg, Lacan - and modern Jungians are following the rage. The collective consciousness of psychology makes us collectively unconscious, much as Jung said when writing about the collective ideas in his day. Being "with it" also means being in it. The epidemic diagnosis Narcissism states that the condition is already endemic to the psychology that makes the diagnosis. It sees narcissism because it sees narcissistically. So let us not take this diagnosis so literally, but place it within the historical parade of Western diagnoses.
Eminent cultural critics - Karl Krauss, Thomas Szasz, Philip Rieff, Christopher Lasch, Paul Zweig, and the notorious Dr. Jeffrey Masson - have each seen that psychoanalysis breeds a narcissistic subjectivism inflicting on the culture an iatrogenic disorder, that is, a disease brought by the methods of the doctors who would cure it.
I shall continue their line of thought, but I shall use a method that Wolfgang Giegerich has so brilliantly exposed in many of his papers. If depth psychology itself suffers from a narcissistic disorder, then what we analysts need first to probe is the unconscious narcissism in analysis itself. Our first patient is neither the patient nor ourselves, but the phenomenon called "analysis" that has brought us both to the consulting room.
The term "Narcissism" is probably British
1917: "We employ the term narcissism in relation to little children and it is to excessive narcissism of primitive man that we ascribe his belief in the omnipotence of his thoughts and consequent attempts to influence the course of events in the other world by magical practices." Does not analysis have this primitive omnipotence fantasy of influencing events in the outer world by its magical practices? The omnipotence of subjective reflection is attested to by many classic Jungians like Harding, Bernard, Meier, von Franz, Baumann, etc. As Jung himself says, we are each "the makeweight that tips the scales" that determine the outcome of world history." The rituals of self-engagement remove projections from the world so that, supposedly, the world itself is transformed by psychoanalysis.
1922: "... narcissistic disorders are characterized by a withdrawal of the libido from objects." The withdrawal of the libido from from objects - I ask you to remember this statement. We shall come back to it.
1925: Freud describes three historic blows to humankind's narcissism. These, he says, are the cosmological blow of Copernicus, the blow of Darwinian evolutionary theory, and the psychoanalytic blow (of Freud) which wounded the omnipotence fantasy, or narcissism, of the ego as sole self-willed ruler. Here, psychoanalysis becomes itself a giant omnipotence fantasy, a creation myth of our culture equivalent with astronomy and biology, promulgating itself with narcissistic grandeur.
This pronouncement appears in Freud's discussion on resistance to psychoanalysis. By means of this idea resistance, analysis brilliantly maintains its invulnerability to criticism. Questioning the validity of analysis is impugned as resistance to it. Even more: the very attacks demonstrate resistance and therefore help to validate analytical theory. As Freud says, "The triumph of narcissism, the ego's victorious assertion of its own invulnerability. It refuses to be hurt by the arrows of reality ... It insists that it is impervious to wounds dealt by the outside world."
Later Freud considered narcissism not to be rooted in love at all, i.e., as self-love, but to be rather a defense against aggressive impulses. Let us consider for a moment the value of "aggressive impulses," at least and at best they take the object, the world out there, into account: I feel enraged about societal injustice, nuclear danger, media crap, industrial callousness, the corporate mind, political ideologues, hideous architecture, etc. But, owing to my narcissistic defenses against the involving call of aggression, I go to the spa, work out, meditate, jog, diet, reduce stress, relax my body armor, improve my orgasms, get a new hairstyle, and take a vacation. And see my therapist: very expensive, very good for me, because he or she devotes complete attention to my problems, especially our transferential frame. Instead of the world and my outrage, I work on my analysis, myself, the Self. This Self, too, fits a narcissistic definition: "the incorporation of grandiose object images as defense against anxiety and guilt" or, as Fenichel puts it, one feels oneself in "reunion with an omnipotent force, be that force an archetype, a god or goddess, the unus mundus, or the numinosity of analysis itself.
Freud's paper "On Narcissism" states that both introspection and conscience or "being watched" derive from and serve narcissism. Yet, psychotherapy practices self-scrutiny as the principal method in its treatment and "being watched" or supervision as the principal component of its training. A candidate goes to hour after hour of institutionalized narcissism of watching and being watched.
The institutionalization of narcissism in our profession - the idea of resistance, the idealization of the Self, the practices of introspection and supervision, the omnipotence fantasies about its own importance in world history, its technique of referring all events back to itself as the vessel, the mirror, the temenos, the frame - bears immediately upon that central obsession of analysis today, transference.
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By transference, here, I mean that self-gratifying analytical habit which refers the emotions of life to the analysis. Transference habitually deflects object libido, that is, love for anything outside analysis, into a narcissistic reflection upon analysis. We feed analysis with life. The mirror that walks down the road of life (Flaubert) replaces the actual road, and the mirror no longer reflects the world, only the walking companions. They may as well have stayed indoors, less distracted by the trees and the traffic.
The principal content of analytical reflection as transference is the child we once were, a fact which accords with Freud's observation that the object choice of the narcissist is "someone he once was.” This helps account for the faddish popularity of Alice Miller’s writings. Her idealized children exhibit what Freud said: the narcissist is “not willing to forego his narcissistic perfection in his childhood” and “seeks to recover the early perfection.” The focus on childhood traps the libido only further into subjectivity, and therefore we must recognize that erotic compulsions in analysis are produced primarily by the analysis, rather than by the persons. Analysis acts itself out through them quite impersonally so that they often feel betrayed and ashamed by the impersonality of the emotions they undergo and are unable to recognize that what they are suffering is the object libido trying to find a way out of analysis. Instead, the narcissistic viciousness of our theory says that transference emotions are compelling the persons to go deeper into analysis.
Let us recognize that the other person - patient or analyst - embodies the only possibility within an analysis to whom object libido can flow. The person in the other chair represents cure of analytical narcissism simply by being there as an Other. Moreover, the patient for the analyst and the analyst for the patient become such numinous objects because they have also been tabooed as libidinal possibilities. Analyst and patient may not act their desire for each other. The narcissism of the situation makes them absolutely necessary to each other, while the taboo sets them absolutely outside of each other. This outside object however, is also inside the analysis. So, patient for doctor and doctor for patient become the symbolic mode of ending analysis by means of love.
Of course, the persons are often torn by what Freud calls the love dilemma of the narcissistic patient: “the cure by love,” which he generally refers to as cure by analysis. We must ask whether this neurotic choice, as Freud calls it, arises from the narcissisms of the patient or from the narcissism of the analytical system in which the patient is situated. After all, the fantasy of an opposition between love and analysis occurs within the prior fantasy of cure which has brought the persons together in the first place.
By elaborating ethical codes, malpractice insurance, investigations, and expulsions that blame the participants, analysis protects itself from wounding insights about its own narcissism. The vulnerability of analysis - that its effectiveness is always in question, that it is neither science nor medicine, that it is aging into professional mediocrity and may have lost its soul to power years ago despite its idealized language by growth and creativity (a language by the way, never used by its founders) - this vulnerability is overcome by idealizing the transference.
As well as transference love, there is also hatred. Perhaps the client’s hatred of the analyst and the hatred of the analyst for the client are also not personal. Perhaps, these intense oppressive feelings against each other arise in both to present both with the fact that they are in a hateful situation: the object libido hates the attachment of transference. Analysis hates itself in order to break the narcissistic vessel imprisoning the libido that would go out into the soul in the world.
The horned dilemmas of transference, including the analyst’s stare into the mirror of his own counter-transference, the feelings of love and hatred, this agony and ecstasy and romantic torture convince the participants that what is going on is of intense importance: first, because these phenomena are expected by the theory and provide proof of it, and second, because these phenomena re-enact what analysis once was in its own childhood in Vienna and Zurich, analysis in primary fusion with its origins in Breuer and Freud and Jung, in Dora and Anna and Sabina. The feelings are cast in therapeutic guise because this is the healing fiction of the analytic situation. In other words, transference is less necessary to the doctor and the patient than it is to analysis by means of which it intensifies its narcissistic idealization, staying in love with itself. We therapists do not sit in our chambers so many hours a day only for the money, or the power, but because we are addicted to analytical narcissism. Our individual narcissism is both obscured and reinforced by the approved narcissism of the analytical profession.
When one partner imagines a tryst or the other imagines resisting a seduction, or when either imagines that love is a solution to misery, then they are framed in the romantic conflicts of Madame Bovary, Wuthering Heights, and Anna Karenina, reconstituting the Romanticisms of the nineteenth century and the origins of psychoanalysis, not in your or my personal childhoods, but in its own cultural childhood. This means we have to locate the narcissism of contemporary analysis within a much wider narcissism: the Romantic movement.
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Literary tradition differentiates at least four principal traits of this genre. We have already spoken of one, “idealization of the love object.” And indeed analysis idealizes the patient as an “interesting case,” “difficult patient,” “good patient,” “borderline personality.” Or consider all the literary fabulations that have made patients into eternal literary figures - Dora, Ellen West, Babette, Miss Miller, Wolfman, Ratman, Little Hands, all the way to Freud and Jung themselves in the novels The White Hotel and The House of Glass. Think of the Romanticism of our theoretical constructs: Love and Death, Empathy, Transformation, Growth, The Child, The Great Mother, The Mirror, Desire and Jouissance, and the Transitional Object. In the patient there takes place such idealized events as a hieros gamos, a quest for self-discovery and a journey into wholeness. Synchronicities outside of causal laws, transcendent functions, integration of the shadow and the realization of the Self on whom the future of civilization depends. We record our idealization of the love object, i.e., analysis, in taped and filmed analytic sessions, paying meticulous and expensive attention to trivial conversations and gestures. Analysis is in love with its idealized image.
A second essential trait of Romanticism is said to be the opposition between bourgeois society and the inner self that, with its dreams, desires and inspirations, tends to oppose, even contradict, the outer world of usual things. Psychoanalysis from its beginnings imagines itself fundamentally opposed to the civilization and its institutions of religion, family, medicine, and the political community disdained as “the collective.”
Third, imprisonment another basic theme in Romanticism, especially French and Russian. In Dostoevsky’s The Possessed, Maria’s song says: “This tiny cell suffices me, there I will dwell my soul to save.” The consulting room provides the confining physical place for the psychic imprisonment of analysis as such its devotion to the secret nooks and crannies of the private world, decorating with reconstructive rococo (i.e., psycho-dynamic intricacies) the narcissistic cell of personality.
Fourth, the Romantic genre has been defined as one that simultaneously seeks and postpones a particular end. This fits therapy. Its entire procedure seeks to restore the person to the world, yet postpones this return indefinitely. (Meanwhile, do not make major changes in your actual life. Don’t act out. The cure of analysis becomes more analysis-another analyst, another school - and the improvement of training becomes ever more hours.) The simultaneity of seeking and postponing an end occurs in the basic conundrum of every analysis, its contradictory two commandments: encourage the desires of the unconscious (Thou Shall Not Repress) and forbid gratification (Thou Shall Not Act Out). Our work is with the libidinous and our method is by way of abstention. The end is unforeseeable; there is no completion. Analysis interminable, as Freud said. This is the Romanticism of eternal longing.
There is no way out of Romanticism’s consulting room and the subjectivism of its eros, unless we turn to what is beyond its purview, turn to what narcissism and romanticism leave out: the objects, the unidealized, immediately given, actual world of dull and urban things
Perhaps it becomes clearer why I have been emphasizing John Keats’s remarkable phrase; “Call the world … The vale of Soul-making. Then you will find out the use of the world.” Also, you will understand why I have held myself back from that side of Jung which expounds upon meaning, Self, individuation, unus mundus, wholeness, mandalas, etc. . These large and introverted ideas envelop me and usually my patients with a grandiose, invulnerable aura. As well, I keep a distance from the current Kohut craze and Lacanian mystique. Although recognizing narcissism as the syndrome of the times (even if the groundwork for this was prepared long ago in the metaphysical catastrophe of Augustinian and Cartesian subjectivism); yet, Kohut attempts its cure by the same means of narcissistic obsession: an ever more detailed observation of subjectivity. And a subjectivity within the oppressive confines of a negatively reconstructed childhood. The child archetype dominates contemporary therapy, keeping patients (and analysts) safe from the world. For this archetype feels always endangered by the actual world, lives not in the present but in futurity, and is addicted to its own powerless infantilism. By so focusing on the child, analysis disenfranchises itself from wider realm of soul-making in the adult community of polis.
Nevertheless I must confess to a serious long-standing error on my part regarding Keats’s phrase. I always considered the world out there to be useful for making one’s own soul. Narcissism again. My soul, your soul - not its soul. For the Romantics, however, ensouling the world was a crucial part of their program. They recognized the traps of narcissistic subjectivity in their vision. Hence, they sought the spirit in physical nature, the brotherhood of all mankind or Gemeinschaftsgefühl, political revolution, and a return to the classic gods and goddesses, attempting to revivify the soul of the world with pantheism.
We must therefore read Keats as saying we go through the world for the sake of its soul-making, thereby our own. This reading suggests a true object libido, beyond narcissism, in keeping with Otto Fenichel’s definition of love. Love can only be called such when “one’s own satisfaction is impossible without satisfying the object too. If the world is not satisfied by our going through it, no matter how much beauty and pleasure our souls may receive from it, then we live in its vale without love.
There is a way out, or I wouldn’t be standing here. For my specific style of narcissism, my pose before the mirror, today is heroic. My style insists on resolution of the issues raised. The method I shall be using here follows the method which I usually empty for resolving issues. First, we look back into the history of psychoanalysis for a model; second, we turn to some peculiar bit of pathologizing for a clue; and third, we resolve problems by dissolving them into images and metaphors.
So, let us turn back to the first psychoanalytic case, Anna O., and her doctor, Josef Breuer, who, with Freud, wrote Studies in Hysteria. As you recall, after a year of almost daily sessions often of several hours, he suddenly terminated. You recall also the intensity of her transference, that she developed a hysterical pregnancy and childbirth, after Breuer tried to end the treatment. He, according to Jones, after a final visit to her “fled the house in a cold sweat. The next day he and his wife left for Venice to spend a second honeymoon which resulted in the conception of a daughter.” Whether fact or not, and Ellenberger says not, the fantasy shows a founding patron of our work escaping both cure by analysis and cure by love for the beauty of Venice and the conception of a daughter. His object libido returns from the oppressive narcissism of psychoanalysis to the Romanticism of the wider world.
This wide world remains merely that, merely a place of escape or acting out, so long as the world “out the window” is imagined only in the Cartesian model as sheer res extensa, only dead matter. To show more vividly how that world is, as Keats said, a place of soul, let us go straight through the window into the world. Let us take a walk in a Japanese garden, in particular the strolling garden, the one with water, hills, trees, and stones. While we walk, let us imagine the garden as an emblem for the peripatetic teacher or the therapeutic guide (psychopompos), the world itself as psychoanalyst showing us soul, showing us how to be in it soulfully.
I turn to the garden and to Japan because of insights given while in Kyoto gardens several years ago, and also because the garden as metaphor expresses some of the deepest longings - from Hesperides, to Eden’s paradise, and Maria’s hortus inclusus - for the world as home of the soul. So by entering into the Japanese garden now we shall be stepping through the window into the anima mundi.
First we notice that the garden has no central place to stand and view it all. We can but scrutinize a part at a time. Instead of overview and wholeness, there is perspective and eachness. The world changes as we move. Here a clump of iris, there a mossy rock. Instead of a center (with its etymological roots in the Greek kentron, “goad” or “prick,” and being compelled toward a goal by means of abstract geometric distancing), there are shifts of focus relative to the body’s location and attitude.
Second: as one strolls, each vista is seen again from a different perspective. The maple branching down to the pond edge, the floating leaves appear less melancholic after the path bends. These shifts of seeing again are precisely what the word “respect” means. To look again is to “respect.” Each time we look at the same thing again, we gain respect for it and add respect to it, curiously discovering the innate relation of “looks” - of regarding and being regarded, words in English that refer to dignity.
Third: when the garden, rather than the dream or the symptom or the unconscious, becomes the via regia of psyche, then we are forced to think anew about the word “in.” “In” is the dominant preposition of all psychoanalysis - not with, not from, not for, but “in.” We look in our souls, we look in a mirror. "In” has been utterly literally, as an invisible, spacelesss psychic stuff inside our skins, or meanings inside our dreams and symptoms, or the memories locked in the past. Interiority of the garden, however, is wholly present and wholly displayed. “In” holds the meanings of included, engaged, involved, embraced. Or, as Jung said, the psyche is not in us; we are in the psyche. This feeling of being in the psyche becomes most palpable when inside the ruins of a Greek temple, in an Egyptian tomb of a king, in a dance or a ritual, and in a Japanese garden. Jung’s phrase “esse in anima” takes on concreteness then, as it does in a clear-cut forest, a bombed city, a cancer ward, a cemetery. Ecology, architecture, interior design are other modes of feeling the anima mundi. Instead of the usual notion of psyche in body, the body strolling through the garden is in the psyche. The world itself is a psychic body; and our bodies as we move, stand, look, pause, turn, and sit are performing an activity of psychic reflection, an activity we formerly considered only mentally possible in the mirror of introspection.
Fourth: the idea of individuality also changes, for in the Japanese garden trees are trimmed at the top and encouraged to grow sideways. Rather than an individuality of the lone tree, towering (and Jung said the single tree is a major symbol of the individuating Self), these trees stretch their branches toward others. Individuality is within community and, takes its definition from community. Furthermore, each tuft in the soft branches of the pine trees is plucked by gardeners. They pull out needles, allowing emptiness to individualize the shape of each twig. It is as if nothing can be individualized unless it is surrounded by emptiness and yet also very, very close to what it is most like. Individuality is therefore more visible within the estrange separateness and close similarity, for instance, of family than in trying to be “different” from family.
Fifth: not only are aged trees supported with crutches and encouraged to flower - blossoming belonging therefore not only to youth - but also the garden includes dead trees. What more wounds our narcissism than these images of old age, these crutched, dependent, twisted and dead trees? < “At least Aurora didn’t reject Tithonus, old, didn’t allow him to lie there lonely in the House of Dawn. She often fondled him, descending into her waters, before she bathed her yoked horses with care. She, when she rested in his arms, by neighbouring India, lamented that day returned too soon.”>
Sixth: the Karesanui gardens, or Zen-inspired gardens, present mainly white sand and found stones, rarely trees. In this bare place the mind watches itself making interpretations. The nine rocks in the raked sand are a tiger family swimming through the sea; the nine rocks are mountain tops peaking through white mist and clouds; the nine rocks are simply rocks, aesthetically placed with genius. One legend after another, one philosophy, theory or literary criticism, or psychological interpretation rises to the mind and falls back into the white sand. The garden becomes wholly metaphor, both what it is and what it is not, presence and absence at once. The concrete koan of the rock garden transforms the mind itself into metaphor, its thought transient while image endures, so that the mind cannot identify with its own subjectivism - narcissism overcome.
‘“Hegel introduces this notion of ‘oppositional determination” in his logic of essence, when he discusses the relationship between identity and difference; his point there is not only that identity is always the identity of identity and difference, but that difference itself is also always the difference between itself and identity; in the same way, it is not only necessity that encompasses both itself and contingency, but also - and more fundamentally - it is contingency itself which encompasses both itself and necessity. Or, with regard to the tension between essence and appearance, the fact that essence has to appear within the domain of appearances, as a hint that “appearances are not all” but are “merely appearances.”’ - Zizek, Less than Nothing>
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Finally, I shall insist that the garden is not natural; nor is psyche natural. The garden was designed and is tended to maintain an artificiality that imitates nature
Because the garden is artificial, as the alchemist was called artifex, all conceptions of soul must be plucked of naturalistic fallacies. The soul as opus contra naturam will not be served adequately by fallacious comparisons with organic growth, cyclical process, and myths of nature goddesses. Nor does the garden shelter the child from which grows the creative person as psychotherapy is found to believe. By insisting upon the artificiality of our work with soul, I am trying to keep us from the Romantic error of confusing the ideal (Eden and the Elysian fields; Horaiko, in Japanese) with the natural. The garden as metaphor offers a romantic vision that saves us from Naturalistic Romanticism by twisting and sophisticating nature through art.
This twist to nature that wounds idealizations of garden is presented in our culture, as in Roman culture, by our ancient god of gardens and gardeners, Priapus. Priapus is neither young nor beautiful. Unlike lovely Narcissus, unlike the semi-divine figures of Adam and Eve, Priapus is mature, bald and paunchy, and so distorted that his mother, Venus, deserted him at birth. His very presence repels romantic idealizations and the gaze into the mirror of Venusian vanity as well as Narcissus’s rapt reflection. Priapic reflection starts the other way around; his preposterous swollen condition reflects the vitality of the world. The same force displays in him as in the buds and germinating pods. By means of distortion which deceptively seems “only natural,” Priapus invites the grotesque pathologized disproportions of imagination - and imagination, says Bachelard, works by deformation.
So, when I invoke Priapus, I am not speaking of priapismus; I am not speaking of machismo; and I am not anti-feminine. Let me be quite clear. I am speaking of the generative artificiality that is the essence of the garden and of the psyche. Each dream, each fantasy, and each symptomatic complication of natural health and normative humanity bears witness to the psyche’s libidinal pleasure in exaggeration, its fertile genius for imaginative distortion. If this god of gardens is also a god of psychoanalysis - and from Charcot through Lacan the priapic has been invoked - he brings to its work an archaic reflex beyond the romantic or baroque, a rousing urgency forward and outward. (Priapus was not permitted indoors in Hestia’s closed rooms where his presence becomes only violent and obscene.)
Moreover, this god needs no mirror to know himself, for his self is wholly displayed. His nature cannot be concealed within, so he is quite free of hidden meanings and subtle innuendos that keep psychoanalysis hopefully addicted to one more revelation, one more transformation, interminable. Priapus knows no metamorphosis, no transfigurations. Priapus is without ambiguity; metaphor is forbidden to him; he displays all, reveals nothing. Like the garden, all there. The rocks are the rocks.
<"And I also say to you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build My church, and the gates of Hades shall not prevail against it." - Matthew 16:18>
2023.03.21 19:28 Apart-Technician7083 Large Volume Hair Removal Outside of the US
Hey yall? Does anyone have recommendations for large volume hair removal outside of the United States? Specifically, I'm looking at Mexico and other places to go. This is mainly related to cost.
Also has anyone hacked which US insurances are the best to cover large volume hair removal? I currently have Medicaid in Colorado.
submitted by Apart-Technician7083 to Transgender_Surgeries [link] [comments]
Also has anyone hacked which US insurances are the best to cover large volume hair removal? I currently have Medicaid in Colorado.
2023.03.21 19:19 MrT_1994 AITA for wanting to yell at my brother for being the worst best man ever?
My bother, 24, and I, 28, have always had a great relationship growing up, besides normal sibling rivalry. About a year and a half ago, I proposed to my now wife and made my bother my best man. About 6 months after the engagement, one of the groomsmen was asking me when the bachelor party was going to be, I told him that I didn't know and that was up to my best man. I was asked this a few times more because my had her bachelorette party already. I answered the same every time that I did not know. Around Christmas time, found out that my wife was going to lose life insurance because she was going to be too old to be on her parent's insurance, so we decided to have a quick court wedding and then go celebrate afterwards, and gave my best man a weeks' notice of it. The day came, he was there for court wedding but the decided to leave the celebration and go home to play video games with online "friends". I was so hurt and he said he would make it up to us someday. Then came the day of the bachelor party and it was utter chaos. He pretty much did not have a set plan for anything, and the stuff he did have plan we could not do because everywhere was busy until late at night. So, we ended up driving around for an hour looking for something to do, which at that point, i wanted to go home and be left alone. The came the day of the actual wedding, he had been telling me for months that he had a speech ready and when the time came for the speech, he said that he did not have one planned and just said stuff like "you look beautiful misses and I have known this guy literally for my whole life." Later, we had people saying that the maid of honor's speech was way better than the best men. I was so embarrassed, and I wanted to punch him right there that day. My parents were even embarrassed of him for that bad of a speech. I have not said anything to him because I want to be the better man but almost every time I see him, I get upset and want to yell at him, and getting away from him is hard to do since we even work in the same building together. So, AITA for wanting to get in his face for being the worst best man ever?
submitted by MrT_1994 to dustythunder [link] [comments]
2023.03.21 19:15 Yozho21 I played a lot of off meta junglers, here are my suggestions
Hey,
I see a lot of threads these days where people ask what off meta junglers are currently viable and/or fun. In the last year, I've spent a lot of time playing off meta junglers, so I've put together a list with some suggestions. I want to say that all of these are viable aswell, picks that you can actually win games with, not some hard off meta picks like Ashe, MF, Malzahar etc. that require a lot of situations to go their way to actually be viable.
submitted by Yozho21 to Jungle_Mains [link] [comments]
I see a lot of threads these days where people ask what off meta junglers are currently viable and/or fun. In the last year, I've spent a lot of time playing off meta junglers, so I've put together a list with some suggestions. I want to say that all of these are viable aswell, picks that you can actually win games with, not some hard off meta picks like Ashe, MF, Malzahar etc. that require a lot of situations to go their way to actually be viable.
- Ornn - Really fun and actually can surprise your opponents, clear is okay, what you want to do is go predator, clear three camps and use his passive to buy boots. Because he doesn't need to back to buy, he is the only jungler in the game that can predator gank in the 3rd minute. Scaling is also really good, just like on toplane.
- Darius - One of the best clears in the game due to passive bleed, I think that only Karthus and Mundo have a better clear. You can either go full fun mode with lethality (Prowlers claw to gap close), you can go standard Darius build, but you can struggle to close gaps in that case, or you can do galeforce for gap close into a full tank build. Always take ghost instead of flash, runes depend on the build.
- Cho'Gath - you can do AP predator Cho, ganks are really good, since kill is pretty much guaranteed if you hit your Q. You can stack his R stacks really well in the jungle, first clear is a bit hard but doable, after that it is totally fine. Same as Ornn, you scale really well.
- Camille - there is a master Camille jungle OTP on KR server, but this one is a bit tricky. New pets changes didn't really improve her clear, so you have to do 2-3 camps (both buffs + gromp) into a gank. You need to kill, reset and get ideally another kill, if you do that, clear becomes doable and ganks are super good. If not, you will struggle.
- Malphite - I am actually surprised that more people don't play AP Malphite in the jungle. Clear is good, ganks are crazy from level 6 onwards, and scaling is good. You also oneshot ADC every team fight with your R if you go AP build. Use cooldown reduction runes, and you will be able to use R for ganks a lot in the early game aswell. Very viable and perhaps the most fun pick on the list, especially if you manage to get a few kills early.
2023.03.21 19:14 skizzybwoi Please help with INSANE surprise bill!!
A few years ago, my mom was in a car accident and was taken to a hospital in an air ambulance. We received bills, and I always sent them to insurance. We hadn't heard anything in years and assumed all was taken care of. However, we just received a bill in the mail stating that the air ambulance company sent the debt to a collection agency. The bill is originally for ~$33k, but they're offering ~$19k if we pay lump sum. We have since changed insurance. We live in Tennessee, but I'll have to check where the accident happened. If needed, I can edit this post with other pertinent information later.
My questions are:
What should be the first course of action? Do we send this to our new insurance, and let them determine if this is a legitimate obligation to pay a debt?
If the debt is legitimate, should we let insurance do all the talking, or since this happened before our coverage with them, will they take no part in discussions?
Would it be foolish to contact this collection agency without a lawyer?
Could we negotiate low monthly payments, or would declaring bankruptcy before anything else can happen be the best course?
submitted by skizzybwoi to Insurance [link] [comments]
My questions are:
What should be the first course of action? Do we send this to our new insurance, and let them determine if this is a legitimate obligation to pay a debt?
If the debt is legitimate, should we let insurance do all the talking, or since this happened before our coverage with them, will they take no part in discussions?
Would it be foolish to contact this collection agency without a lawyer?
Could we negotiate low monthly payments, or would declaring bankruptcy before anything else can happen be the best course?
2023.03.21 19:13 skizzybwoi Please help with INSANE surprise bill!!
A few years ago, my mom was in a car accident and was taken to a hospital in an air ambulance. We received bills, and I always sent them to insurance. We hadn't heard anything in years and assumed all was taken care of. However, we just received a bill in the mail stating that the air ambulance company sent the debt to a collection agency. The bill is originally for ~$33k, but they're offering ~$19k if we pay lump sum. We have since changed insurance. We live in Tennessee, but I'll have to check where the accident happened. If needed, I can edit this post with other pertinent information later.
My questions are:
What should be the first course of action? Do we send this to our new insurance, and let them determine if this is a legitimate obligation to pay a debt?
If the debt is legitimate, should we let insurance do all the talking, or since this happened before our coverage with them, will they take no part in discussions?
Would it be foolish to contact this collection agency without a lawyer?
Could we negotiate low monthly payments, or would declaring bankruptcy before anything else can happen be the best course?
submitted by skizzybwoi to HealthInsurance [link] [comments]
My questions are:
What should be the first course of action? Do we send this to our new insurance, and let them determine if this is a legitimate obligation to pay a debt?
If the debt is legitimate, should we let insurance do all the talking, or since this happened before our coverage with them, will they take no part in discussions?
Would it be foolish to contact this collection agency without a lawyer?
Could we negotiate low monthly payments, or would declaring bankruptcy before anything else can happen be the best course?
2023.03.21 19:13 rubywoo_honeylove chicken quasadila 5/10 chilis ones taste better 😑😐
 | submitted by rubywoo_honeylove to Costco [link] [comments] |
2023.03.21 19:12 EchoJobs Nutanix is hiring Software Engineer - Core Data Path USD 108k-216k San Jose, CA US Seattle, WA [Go Python]
![Nutanix is hiring Software Engineer - Core Data Path USD 108k-216k San Jose, CA US Seattle, WA [Go Python]](https://external-preview.redd.it/5OlfzTBtFGxN9zLfn1GEwZWTqUvLS_mOxom_RuOZu2Q.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=499e42ede7f07bdea2807adba63d200066714e95 "Nutanix is hiring Software Engineer - Core Data Path USD 108k-216k San Jose, CA US Seattle, WA [Go Python]") | submitted by EchoJobs to DevOpsJob [link] [comments] |
2023.03.21 19:11 HeatherQDempsey Superior Brand?
My medical team is encouraging a spinal cord stimulator. What is your opinions on which one works best? Has least side effects? Obviously, it will depend on my insurance and doctors but want to be prepared if options are available.
submitted by HeatherQDempsey to spinalcordstimulator [link] [comments]
2023.03.21 19:11 PureFleet ILPT Request 'Accidentally' break a phone enough to get a new one through insurance
Hi all,
I got a Samsung flip 3 almost a year and a half ago and got a deal deal on the insurance. As its a wacky phone my idea was to break the phone a month or so before the insurance ended so I could get a new one which would last me another few years. There's too many variables in the phone for me to want to keep a 2 year old phone like this without insurance. So what would be the best way for me to break the phone so it is believable and beyond repair so I get a new phone through Samsung care+
submitted by PureFleet to IllegalLifeProTips [link] [comments]
I got a Samsung flip 3 almost a year and a half ago and got a deal deal on the insurance. As its a wacky phone my idea was to break the phone a month or so before the insurance ended so I could get a new one which would last me another few years. There's too many variables in the phone for me to want to keep a 2 year old phone like this without insurance. So what would be the best way for me to break the phone so it is believable and beyond repair so I get a new phone through Samsung care+
2023.03.21 19:11 skizzybwoi Trouble with insane health insurance debt!!
A few years ago, my mom was in a car accident and was taken to a hospital in an air ambulance. We received bills, and I always sent them to insurance. We hadn't heard anything in years and assumed all was taken care of. However, we just received a bill in the mail stating that the air ambulance company sent the debt to a collection agency. The bill is originally for ~$33k, but they're offering ~$19k if we pay lump sum. We have since changed insurance. We live in Tennessee, but I'll have to check where the accident happened. If needed, I can edit this post with other pertinent information later.
My questions are:
What should be the first course of action? Do we send this to our new insurance, and let them determine if this is a legitimate obligation to pay a debt?
If the debt is legitimate, should we let insurance do all the talking, or since this happened before our coverage with them, will they take no part in discussions?
Would it be foolish to contact this collection agency without a lawyer?
Could we negotiate low monthly payments, or would declaring bankruptcy before anything else can happen be the best course?
submitted by skizzybwoi to Debt [link] [comments]
My questions are:
What should be the first course of action? Do we send this to our new insurance, and let them determine if this is a legitimate obligation to pay a debt?
If the debt is legitimate, should we let insurance do all the talking, or since this happened before our coverage with them, will they take no part in discussions?
Would it be foolish to contact this collection agency without a lawyer?
Could we negotiate low monthly payments, or would declaring bankruptcy before anything else can happen be the best course?
2023.03.21 19:09 Austyp87 Helping a friend buy a car. We are running out of options and I'm wondering if there is anything we can do that I'm missing.
Hello, I'm trying to help my friend buy a car. She currently has little credit, I have a 750 credit score. I can't be a primary signer with her cosigning since the insurance would have to be in my name.
She can't financially do a car with a required down payment. We have had rough times at dealerships. Would a personal loan be the best bet for her for a down payment? A buy here pay here is not a good idea since the last time she did it, it didn't reflect on her credit, and the cars at buy here pay here's usually aren't good. I'm kinda lost as to what to do. I don't expect a crazy car. Just something she can afford and will help her credit.
submitted by Austyp87 to personalfinance [link] [comments]
She can't financially do a car with a required down payment. We have had rough times at dealerships. Would a personal loan be the best bet for her for a down payment? A buy here pay here is not a good idea since the last time she did it, it didn't reflect on her credit, and the cars at buy here pay here's usually aren't good. I'm kinda lost as to what to do. I don't expect a crazy car. Just something she can afford and will help her credit.
2023.03.21 19:09 BornTo0Lo0se Hire me, an experienced and trusted tutor, for help with essays, exams, homework assignments, or entire online courses for math, physics, social sciences and more! The new semester is starting, so don’t wait until your grades slip!
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submitted by BornTo0Lo0se to ResearchPaperForAll [link] [comments]
If you need help with exams (including proctored online exams), essays/research papers, homework assignments, online courses, and more, then I am just the one you need!
Hiring a stranger online can be extremely nerve-wracking, as it’s difficult to tell who is a real tutor and who is a scammer. Fortunately PayPal solved this issue many years ago; PayPal’ buyer protection insurance means that your payment is 100% insured and will be reimbursed if the terms/services that were provided do not meet expectations. I would therefore recommend that anyone hiring a stranger online should use PayPal, as securing this kind of transaction is exactly what they are the best at. Stay safe!
2023.03.21 19:06 nickygee123 Trip report for a novice psychonaught. (Madness and fear)
I want to start this report by saying that I have taken mushrooms before and have had the most positive experiences filled with love, and understanding, and beauty. However every time I've taken mushrooms, something always tells me to respect them, and that with all good things have bad things also attached to them. Everything in the universe is about symmetry from my perspective.
Setting: My girlfriend and brother live with me in my home. My girlfriend had to take a work trip out of town and I figured that this would be a good time to have a psychedelic experience. She has never done them, and doesn't understand that your mind can sometimes be guided by the mushroom rather than your actual being. However she thinks its great that I take them from time to time. I started my day at about 2am, took my girlfriend tk the airport, came home and took a nap for a few hours then cleaned the house up. I waiting until about 5pm to take the mushrooms casually smoking marijuana throughout the day. Not getting super stoned, but stoned nine the less.
Taking the mushrooms: I consumed roughly 2 grams of what I think is penis envy. (thick lighter colored mushrooms, thicker stalks and wide caps) I had only slept a few hours the night before and had a 2 hour nap after taking my girlfriend to the airport. At about 7pm I could tell I was under the influence of the mushrooms but nothing was happening. Somethingin my head was telling me that the mushroom didnt want to work with me today and to just enjoy my evening. Me being a fallible human being took another gram of mushroom to see if I could kick things off. (Looking back on that period, I think I was already under the influence, but I wasn't getting the desired affect of looking inward and seeing all the love and beauty in my life) after consuming another gram of mushrooms I then popped 30 milligrams of marijuana edibles because I felt like the shrooms were not going to work, therefore I mine as well have a good time before going to sleep.
The trip: I began to feel disconnected from the things I was doing. I didn't want tonplay games, music was annoying me more than it was soothing me and I started to feel a general sense of distress. I was watching a video about the different levels of a psychedelic experience. Upon hearing the description of what dmt can do, I started to feel incredibly uneasy and looked away from my screen. I kept feeling like I couldn't see well. white flashes and tracers overpowered my vision and made me feel like I had to squint, as if the sun was to bright and I didn't have sunglasses, I felt the boundaries of reality startb to slip away, and the very fabric of time and space turned into this horror that I couldn't comprehend. It's like I understood what reality was, but I couldn't fathom how I'm still alive in it. I began to panic and thought of those kids who take like 15 grams of this stuff and end up in a hospital. My brother is home and I walk into his office where he is hanging out. I tell him what I'm experiencing. He has never taken shrooms before but does his best to provide me comfort and entertain my wild thoughts. He provided comfort and grounding and would periodically help me find my place again if I felt like I was slipping into madness. I had an experience while petting my dog. I am allergic to dogs and get all sneezy after a while. But I love my dogs and would gladly suffer a sneezing fit if it ment I get to see their happy faces every day. Anyway, I started thinking about all the mites that live on their bodies and my body. And how with every stroke of my hand on her fur was probably extracting these mites from their homes into a new world, from this world they would travel to my nose and do damage before being consumed by my body. (Damage being a sneezing fit) I experienced this from their perspective, I then began to think of what they would experience if they could know what I know. I then began to spiral into a deep sense of what I can only call ultimate knowledge. I felt like I was one of these mites, learning about how our sun was born, and the vastness of the universe, and size and scope of things. And how small it was as well, the space between atoms, seeing their electrons orbiting atoms, and the spaces in between, and the spaces in between gravity, and it all just kind of started to become to much knowledge. It was as if being enlightened began to take a toll, things were infinite and never ending, there were beautiful things but also unfathomable horror in which my mind had never comprehended before, even the beauty was horrifying as if I reached my capacity for it. I began to wonder if my mind was breaking, reality felt so distant. I felt like I was bobbing in the ocean trying to keep my head above water. Just trying to stay grounded. After spiraling and dwelling in hopelessness and despair for a while, I felt like the mushrooms started to kind of talk to me. They said that the vestibule in which I provided them (my body) was not prepared for them properly, my stomache was full of decaying flesh (I had chicken wings for diner with no fruit or veg) my mind was weak from such a severe lack of sleep, and my body was in distress from working throughout the day, smoking weed, and being in ketosis, (ketosis is a way you can make your body metabolism fuel differently). It told me that it tried to tell me to not take anymore and when I didn't listen to it, it got mad. Why would I invite what is normally a beautiful thing into my body when my body itself is not at its best? Anyway, to keep it short, the mushrooms told me to never force an experience again. If I take shrooms and nothing happens that I wanted to have happen, then let it be. The mushrooms don't want to play. Forcing it and making it happen when your not really feeling it is a great way to have a bad fucking time man.
I learned so much from this trip, I learned that things are just out of my control, I learned that my mind is not always the strongest, and I learned good and bad things come in waves, it gave me a huge appreciation for the reality we live in now, it gave me huge appreciation for my girlfriend and my brother. It helped me realize that also taking care of my body can also help the environment around me in ways I still.dont full understanding, but I know there is a connection.
Anyway, it was a bad trip but not as terrible as some others I've heard of. I did feel like my mind was going to break, and that my essence would be gone from this realm forever. I do believe if I was in a better state of mind and physically sound that I would of experi3nced ego death. However due to my lack of respect for the mushroom I was left to experience for hours all kinds of eldrich horrors and unfathomabley deep and scary realizations of our universe. Now that im sober I feel like it was a good bad trip. I learned something, I pulled information from this trip that can help me in my life. Also it gave me a greater respect for the mushroom and the secrets it holds.
submitted by nickygee123 to shrooms [link] [comments]
Setting: My girlfriend and brother live with me in my home. My girlfriend had to take a work trip out of town and I figured that this would be a good time to have a psychedelic experience. She has never done them, and doesn't understand that your mind can sometimes be guided by the mushroom rather than your actual being. However she thinks its great that I take them from time to time. I started my day at about 2am, took my girlfriend tk the airport, came home and took a nap for a few hours then cleaned the house up. I waiting until about 5pm to take the mushrooms casually smoking marijuana throughout the day. Not getting super stoned, but stoned nine the less.
Taking the mushrooms: I consumed roughly 2 grams of what I think is penis envy. (thick lighter colored mushrooms, thicker stalks and wide caps) I had only slept a few hours the night before and had a 2 hour nap after taking my girlfriend to the airport. At about 7pm I could tell I was under the influence of the mushrooms but nothing was happening. Somethingin my head was telling me that the mushroom didnt want to work with me today and to just enjoy my evening. Me being a fallible human being took another gram of mushroom to see if I could kick things off. (Looking back on that period, I think I was already under the influence, but I wasn't getting the desired affect of looking inward and seeing all the love and beauty in my life) after consuming another gram of mushrooms I then popped 30 milligrams of marijuana edibles because I felt like the shrooms were not going to work, therefore I mine as well have a good time before going to sleep.
The trip: I began to feel disconnected from the things I was doing. I didn't want tonplay games, music was annoying me more than it was soothing me and I started to feel a general sense of distress. I was watching a video about the different levels of a psychedelic experience. Upon hearing the description of what dmt can do, I started to feel incredibly uneasy and looked away from my screen. I kept feeling like I couldn't see well. white flashes and tracers overpowered my vision and made me feel like I had to squint, as if the sun was to bright and I didn't have sunglasses, I felt the boundaries of reality startb to slip away, and the very fabric of time and space turned into this horror that I couldn't comprehend. It's like I understood what reality was, but I couldn't fathom how I'm still alive in it. I began to panic and thought of those kids who take like 15 grams of this stuff and end up in a hospital. My brother is home and I walk into his office where he is hanging out. I tell him what I'm experiencing. He has never taken shrooms before but does his best to provide me comfort and entertain my wild thoughts. He provided comfort and grounding and would periodically help me find my place again if I felt like I was slipping into madness. I had an experience while petting my dog. I am allergic to dogs and get all sneezy after a while. But I love my dogs and would gladly suffer a sneezing fit if it ment I get to see their happy faces every day. Anyway, I started thinking about all the mites that live on their bodies and my body. And how with every stroke of my hand on her fur was probably extracting these mites from their homes into a new world, from this world they would travel to my nose and do damage before being consumed by my body. (Damage being a sneezing fit) I experienced this from their perspective, I then began to think of what they would experience if they could know what I know. I then began to spiral into a deep sense of what I can only call ultimate knowledge. I felt like I was one of these mites, learning about how our sun was born, and the vastness of the universe, and size and scope of things. And how small it was as well, the space between atoms, seeing their electrons orbiting atoms, and the spaces in between, and the spaces in between gravity, and it all just kind of started to become to much knowledge. It was as if being enlightened began to take a toll, things were infinite and never ending, there were beautiful things but also unfathomable horror in which my mind had never comprehended before, even the beauty was horrifying as if I reached my capacity for it. I began to wonder if my mind was breaking, reality felt so distant. I felt like I was bobbing in the ocean trying to keep my head above water. Just trying to stay grounded. After spiraling and dwelling in hopelessness and despair for a while, I felt like the mushrooms started to kind of talk to me. They said that the vestibule in which I provided them (my body) was not prepared for them properly, my stomache was full of decaying flesh (I had chicken wings for diner with no fruit or veg) my mind was weak from such a severe lack of sleep, and my body was in distress from working throughout the day, smoking weed, and being in ketosis, (ketosis is a way you can make your body metabolism fuel differently). It told me that it tried to tell me to not take anymore and when I didn't listen to it, it got mad. Why would I invite what is normally a beautiful thing into my body when my body itself is not at its best? Anyway, to keep it short, the mushrooms told me to never force an experience again. If I take shrooms and nothing happens that I wanted to have happen, then let it be. The mushrooms don't want to play. Forcing it and making it happen when your not really feeling it is a great way to have a bad fucking time man.
I learned so much from this trip, I learned that things are just out of my control, I learned that my mind is not always the strongest, and I learned good and bad things come in waves, it gave me a huge appreciation for the reality we live in now, it gave me huge appreciation for my girlfriend and my brother. It helped me realize that also taking care of my body can also help the environment around me in ways I still.dont full understanding, but I know there is a connection.
Anyway, it was a bad trip but not as terrible as some others I've heard of. I did feel like my mind was going to break, and that my essence would be gone from this realm forever. I do believe if I was in a better state of mind and physically sound that I would of experi3nced ego death. However due to my lack of respect for the mushroom I was left to experience for hours all kinds of eldrich horrors and unfathomabley deep and scary realizations of our universe. Now that im sober I feel like it was a good bad trip. I learned something, I pulled information from this trip that can help me in my life. Also it gave me a greater respect for the mushroom and the secrets it holds.
2023.03.21 19:04 Internalrefrences [IL] insurance company keeps trying to call me about an accident that happened while I was a passenger in an Uber.
This happened less than a month ago. I was on my way to work and running late so I called a car. The car was rear ended pretty badly. The airbags didn’t deploy or anything, but it was a hard hit.
Now I’m getting called by an insurance company trying to get me to tell my “side of the story”. What would be the reason for this? I was actually busy at work the first time they called, but the other times I ignored the calls. Then they got my email from Uber, I’m assuming, and they are saying that they need a statement.
Is it in my best interest to provide a statement? Do I legally have to? Will I have to go to court and all that.
I just have anxiety and I am trying to avoid any connection to this but I’m scared I’ll get in trouble.
submitted by Internalrefrences to legaladvice [link] [comments]
Now I’m getting called by an insurance company trying to get me to tell my “side of the story”. What would be the reason for this? I was actually busy at work the first time they called, but the other times I ignored the calls. Then they got my email from Uber, I’m assuming, and they are saying that they need a statement.
Is it in my best interest to provide a statement? Do I legally have to? Will I have to go to court and all that.
I just have anxiety and I am trying to avoid any connection to this but I’m scared I’ll get in trouble.