Farting on my roommates door meme

So, I've been looking into myself and researching since I got diagnosed, and I genuinely believe I might be in a hardcore burnout. I remember I was most likely burnt out from 2015 - 2019 because of abusive parents, my environment, etc. Once I moved into an apartment with my husband and roommate in 2019, I let myself rest for months and really started to feel better. I felt the weight of the world was starting to lift off of me. Then, of course, COVID hit in 2020. We got (illegally) evicted from our apartment in June of 2020 and we had to move in with the in-laws. That got me burnt out again. I basically LIVED in my room for 2 years, until we moved out of state in early 2022. Now, with us being in a semi-stable place and I'm able to try and relax and live again, I can't seem to pull myself out of this feeling. I don't feel like I did. I've stopped drawing (my hobby/life/career pursuit), I've stopped listening to music, I've stopped basically everything except playing video games on my laptop. I can't even sleep most nights because I'm just mindlessly scrolling TikTok or thinking too much - this is on top of taking 75 mg of Hydroxyzine and 20 mg of Fluoxetine. I don't feel "depressed" - my doctor even put me on multiple antidepressants last year and they didn't work.
Are there any ways I could try and pull myself out of this? I'm so tired of feeling like this.

So I bought a new Rtx 4090 gigabyte gaming OC card from newegg new for 1700 dollars. I made sure to not buy the open box or refurbished but received a clearly opened and used box. The graphics card was missing wraps on the fans and some of the heat sink fins were bent and banged up. I requested a replacement since I wanted the card and was promised a New Sealed box. I went without a graphics card for about a week and today recorded the whole process from door to opening. Same issue, it was missing wraps on the graphics card and some fingerprints and dirt on the backplate plastic. I don’t trust that they can give me a honest replacement thats new since they did it to me twice and I can’t go long without a card for too long since Im in university and use it daily. I didn’t pay so much money that I saved for just to be screwed over by not allowing returns and offering used replacements. I don’t like that parts are missing or opened when I make such a large purchase for a new product. I am no scalper and waited a long time to purchase it at MSRP from newegg like my last gigabyte card. Should I try to negotiate for a refund, or go and hope for another replacement that may be opened? I am seriously considering contesting it with my credit card company since it isn’t fair that I have only the option to request a replacement that even when promised new is also opened and missing parts.

So I was just thinking after seeing some April fools stuff about something that happened when I was 8 years old.
I was being a shitty little 8 year old and I admit that. My Mum woke me up for school and I was in a foul mood. I was shouted at for some silly child reason which is fine. I then told her I hated her and made the point of writing “I hate you” on her shopping list before then slamming the car door and going to school. I was meant to have a sleepover with my friend that night but my Dad picked me up early (teacher took me to the office for an “emergency” and my Dad handed me a 2 page letter and told me my Mum had run away from home and had written said letter to me. I don’t remember what it all said but it was a huge guilt trip about how much I’d hurt her and it was my fault that my little sister wouldn’t have bedtime stories or dinner anymore etc.. and that I’d ruined my whole families life . To save face I tried to pretend it was all an April fools joke. She eventually came back and showed me the toothbrush she had bought for the hotel (aged 41) and then we got over it. I’m just thinking how unbelievably fucked up that is for an 8 year old. Children are dicks and I fully appreciate I was being one but still.

Hey everyone!
I'm a Singaporean currently studying in the National University Of Singapore and I am excited to be starting an exchange program at uOttawa this Fall, but I'm a bit lost on how to settle accommodation. I was hoping to reach out to the community here for some advice and guidance.
If anyone has any tips on good areas to live in close to campus, or recommendations for student-friendly housing options, I would really appreciate it! I'm open to living with roommates or on my own, so any suggestions are welcome.
Additionally, I would love to meet new people and make some friends during my exchange. If anyone is looking for a roommate or interested in hanging out, feel free to reach out! I'm down for exploring the city, checking out local events, or just grabbing a coffee and getting to know each other.
Thanks for your help and looking forward to meeting some of you soon!

Hi, so for context I am a 20 year old female and my partner is a 21 year old male. He used to be my boyfriend last year in Summer but we broke up in September due to him cheating (he was trying to be monogamous for me but realized that he cannot suppress his polyamorous urges).
He has been raised very open minded and I have been raised with the typical values most people have and to want monogamous relationships. So basically by nature I’m monogamous and I have been struggling with the idea of his polyamory for the past few months. However, he hasn’t had any other experiences with other people since we met besides the time he cheated.
Anyways, ever since we broke up we have been acting as if we were a couple which brought with it a lot of ups and downs, mainly due to things that I was struggling with because he is my first and I had a lot to learn since he knows how to deal with relationship problems better than me (I’m not his first relationship). I also caused problems last year with not really being able to meet with him during the weekends because my parents wanted me to visit them every weekend (I live in an apartment alone for university) and I was scared to just stay the weekend in the apartment instead so I could meet with him.
I also was struggling with the fact that my parents are not aware with what is going on because last year when we broke up, I was pressured to tell them what was going on with me when I was on holiday with them (the breakup happened right before the holiday and before that they weren’t aware that I was in a relationship) and I told them that he cheated on me and that he wants to be polyamorous. My parents are Christian so this didn’t sit well with them so right now I am keeping everything that is going on between me and him a secret.
I’m telling you all this background stuff because all this caused me to struggle a lot last year and this year and because of that something came up which is causing our relationship to be rocky. In the past few weeks he has revealed to me that he has been struggling with the fact that I am not romantic (I wish I could tell you the exact moment he told me but to be honest so much has happened in the past few weeks that a part of it is a blur).
He has also let me know that last year and this year (even when we were together) that he felt very depressed about the lack of romance and that he couldn’t tell me because then the romance would feel forced. He said that he tried hinting to me about all this but I never got the hint because I am bad at reading between the lines.
He also held on to hope that the romance would somehow come but then a few weeks ago, I caused him to have a breakdown and he told me that the only way the romance problem can be fixed is for me to initiate all the romantic encounters and he will give me what I give him.
For a little more context, he usually gives his all in relationships romance wise but with me he felt he had to put that down quite a lot to reach my level. He told me if he could, he would treat me like a queen and gift me stuff for every occasion but since I don’t do that for him he cannot do it for me (he used to but then he stopped). He mentioned how he can list a few things to gift me just from the top of his head and that I don’t even have any idea what to give him.
He also mentioned how he would always make sure to make time for me last year during the summer (even if I would do that as well) but I suppose in his defense he would have to be the one who travels to me since I’m the one who lives in an apartment alone and he lives with his parents.
To defend my lack of romance, I told him that I was struggling with a lot last year and this year and I didn’t have the time to even think about being romantic. I also hardly have time to think to myself because I’m constantly with my roommate.
Anyways, my question is what romantic things can I do if he doesn’t find some typical romantic things romantic for example: kissing is not romantic to him, hugging isn’t either (he still enjoys them though). He doesn’t associate sex with romance because in his mind they are two separate things.
He did mention that he would appreciate me sending him romantic memes that remind me of him besides the funny ones that I send to the group chat with him and my best friend. Thing is, I mean it’s something I’m going to try but most romantic memes are either too cringy for me or they don’t reflect our relationship at all (besides the ones about sex because our sex life with each other is great it’s just everything else that isn’t the best).
If you got this far, thank you so much for reading. I would really appreciate if anyone has any ideas <3
P.s. Please don’t comment on the polyamory thing, I only mentioned it for context.

My mother married my half-brother's dad first, then divorced. Met my dad, and had me, then divorced when I was 2. I've been on and off with my dad as it was often too overwhelming for me to cope with his words and ways. Now, he is asking for money and mentioning that the law is on his side as a way to dissuade me to give it to him.
Some key facts for you to know:

• Everybody says that my dad was a selfish person and a very irresponsible dad. I have two pieces of information:
  • My mom would leave me with my dad, she would come back and he would have had breakfast in front of me but not fed me.
  • My brother had always mentioned to me that he was always worried that my dad would rape me. I took it as a natural concern of an elder brother being challenged by another man, until my grandmother told me that my dad had been raped at age 10. I confirmed with other members of the family and this is true. Then I went back to my brother to ask him why that comment and then he said to me that he had observed my father in the bathroom and also in my room changing my clothes, rubbing my vagina displaying signs of pleasure. I'm now an adult who can't have penetration, I almost faint trying to put a tampon on. It may be connected to that or maybe not, I don't know. This lack of confirmation is killing me inside.
• It was always hard to be around my dad for me. Sometimes I would grab his phone when he was in the bathroom, and hide and call my mom so she would come and pick me up. The things he would say and the tone he would use felt unbearable. All I tried to do was to be quiet so he wouldn't have anything to use against me. And to this, I feel the same way. He also pushed me against a wall once.
  
  • For instance, he would say that women were inferior. Or say to me that I could sell my virginity and use that money to create a business or buy a house, when I was 13-16.
• He has never apologised for anything to me. The most he has said is 'I know that it was hard to go through the divorce, but if you suffered it was only your responsibility. Your incorrect perception on the events and your mother's manipulation'. And while part of that may be true, how come he never apologises? Just like my brother, who once said to me 'Because you are here for a couple of weeks otherwise I would hit you in the face'. My dad also has anger issues, he one said to my mom 'watch out tonight because I have a knife'. I fell asleep looking at the door in case I had to defend her.
  
• My dad stopped paying his part to my mom when I was 12. I never went against him or felt bitter towards him, I think I was just waiting for the next bad thing to happen and also looking forward to learning from him as he is the intellectual type. I was very sad for my mother though, hence why I rarely ask for anything and started working at age 18 occasionally to pay for my degree and any leisure/social life expenses. I never went to a school trip with my friends either.
  
• He stopped working around that time, when I was 12, and basically lived off my grandma. Then she went from one woman to another, who he calls friends but with whom he has had sex and have maintained him to this day. They both have severe mental health issues, BPD and bipolarism, both victims of narcissistic abuse all their life.
  
• Because he stopped working, he now has had one of this women to do a fake contract for him, but needs someone to give him 2.400 euros to pay the social security taxes. I gave him half of it, and now he is asking for the rest.
  
• On top of this, I've been paying half of my mother's rent for almost a year. And have helped her for many years. I guess I've spent around 10.000 euros on both of them for different reasons (cash, trips to see them, etc), as they are not financially independent and haven't gone the extra mile for me. My mom has, of course, I lived with her until age 24. I paid my degree and most of my expenses aside from home and bills, so I can't complain. During this time, she encouraged me to quit uni and work to pay the bills, but I said no. I would just go to uni, be in the library until late and then almost go to bed so I didn't have to see her. She also became very religious and I'm bisexual, so I guess I've lost my mother. At least the mother I once knew.
  
• My dad works in legal stuff through his association and has mentioned that the law establishes that it's the daughteson responsibility to care for his/her father if he can't. And since he is used to using the law against people and he justifies asking for money instead of trying to find a job, I would assume he may use the law against me as I have a good salary.
  
• I've never wanted them to help me, and I've always felt grateful for all they've done for me. Hence why I have and continue to help them. But I worry that I'm enabling more abuse on me. All I ask for is for them to not hurt my finances and be responsibility individuals so I have the peace of mind that they are good and will be good. As I suffer when they suffer and feel very guilty when I say no. I'm also young but no so young (30) and need to build a life for myself. It's really hard to save to buy a house, they are very expensive, and I have a lot of anxiety to realise that I will never have enough and my parents are only getting older, so they will get more dependent and will be able to use the law against me.
  
• My therapist has also flagged that my father displays both narcissistic and psycopathic traits and I display traits of people who have been sexually and emotionally abuse. Everything is very confusing for me and I always feel like everything is my fault and if people hurt me there is a good reason for it, so I would really appreciate your view on this as a third person not immersed in this situation and confusion.
  

He has asked for another 1.200 euros and I'm thinking of saying no. I feel very guilty, and would like to hear your thoughts in case I'm missing a reason why I should give him that money.
A part of me feels like it's time to put boundaries and encourage them to be responsibility as opposed to enable them more dependency and disrespect and lack of compassion towards me.
Most often than not all I want is to die. Not only will I never have a loving family but as my parents age and fail to be responsible for themselves, I'm expected to carry that burden. And if I reject it, then with it I lose them.
I feel such a profound emptiness that my dream or consolation is realising that my life will end at some point and then I will finally be able to rest.
I'm 30 and I've only had two long term relationships with people that were never healthy or good for me, and at this point I not only don't trust people, I also find them shallow, uninteresting and worrying.
I've also realised how confused and traumatised I am and won't have children to avoid generational trauma. So for those of you who will say 'one day you'll have your own family', no, not really.

Having the Beast Handler will really make the categories feel more equal. We went from 3 Support towers at launch, feeling like a very small category, to now 5, the same amount as Magic! Which is one less than Primary and TWO less than Military... But what if they were all equal?
I'll use this as an opportunity to share whatever Tower concepts I can think of: One Primary, Two Magic, Two Support, so we can have 7 of each!
Primary: Gamer Monkey/Arcade Monkey
This DEFINITELY seems like a weird pick, but it is with reason. Primary towers seem to be some sort of category for the original forces that the Monkeys used to pop Bloons. Every tower from BTD1 except for the Super Monkey is based off of a Bloon from Bloons (The Dart Monkey is more-so based off of the Monkey throwing Darts but there ARE Dart Bloons) and based off of other elements in the Bloons series it can be assumed that the reason that the Bloons take on these volatile forms is because they are masters of mimicry who have mimicked the towers that were present during the Bloons 1 generation, meaning that the Super Monkey was new to the Bloons Tower Defense 1-3 generation. But there is ONE Bloon that doesn't have a Monkey counterpart... The Pac-Man Bloon!... Which, like, I can imagine why, but still. It's either this or an Exploding Pineapple Monkey and that feels more geared towards Support, similar to the Spike Factory whose attacks are based off of the Road Spikes.
So how does the Gamer Monkey work? Well, naturally, their base attack is Pac-Man; well, Pac-Monkey, so that it's a proper parody. You have to micro Pac-Monkey within the fairly short range of the Gamer Monkey using the arrow keys (Or when on Mobile, by tapping arrows that surround the Gamer Monkey themself, which is also an option for clicking on PC but like why would you do that? I don't know the control scheme for when you have a controller with Bloons like with the upcoming console ports so I won't handle that). Pac-Monkey does an astounding 2 damage per chomp for a base tower but has only 1 or 2 pierce without Primary Training+. There would probably be an upgrade that allows Pac-Monkey to seek Bloons, though I imagine it'll be like Pursuit or Wingmonkey where manually targeting the tower is sometimes better. After that, the sky's the limit, really. Middle path would probably have some sort of power pellet gimmick since that's the ability path but ultimately Pac-Monkey is probably not the only tower that the Gamer Monkey could control. Though Minecraft Monkey might be a bit redundant with one of the later ideas here.
The main attack may have to be reworked for Battles 2 in some way, though.
Primary Honourable Mentions:
Aforementioned Exploding Pineapple tower, since the Exploding Pineapple originated early-on in the series. Guess this also sort of counts as a Support Honourable Mention since the reason it doesn't work as Primary is because it feels more Support-y.
Monkey Beacon tower, would have to be revamped into basically a completely different tower than it was before since it was basically just the Monkey Village but with the ability to call a Super Monkey Storm, and plus none of that is very Primary-y anyway (Since Primary is the lowest priority categorization and if a tower fits well enough into any other category, which Glue and Ice apparently don't somehow?)
Military Honourable Mention:
While we don't really NEED another Military tower out of all tower categories unless we're going 8 towers in each Category, the Bloonsday Device would be a fun and unique one. Most Special Agents from BTD5 are animals and Ninjakiwi has mentioned moving away from non-Monkey towers, but they still include Monkey-operated machines such as the Spike Factory and Tack Shooter so why not the Bloonsday Device? For those not familiar, the gimmick of the Bloonsday Device is that it's a really powerful overhead laser that leaves acid pools in its wake and it's controlled by the mouse. However, it only attacks while its ability is active. Sort of like a Super Monkey Fanclub but it would probably cost less than a Super Monkey but still over $2,000, instead of costing about $8,000. Less powerful off-cooldown than a Super Monkey Fanclub though, admittedly. I guess you could make an argument for this tower or an echo of it being in a different category but I dunno, it feels very Military-y to me imo.
Magic #1: Vampire Monkey
You know how like, Marceline was in Bloons Adventure Time TD? Do you... Do you think they'd mind if we just... Borrowed some of that? Basically, this Monkey would fly around like a Heli Pilot while biting Bloons. Way less pierce than a Heli Pilot but a lot more single-target damage. Their base, instead of a boombox, would be a coffin. Among other great powers, they also can harness power from Red Bloons and BFBs, plus partially from Rainbow Bloons (I don't think Marceline can get power from Rainbow Bloons for whatever reason, which is pretty ironic considering the character.) They'd probably have some skills that heal Monkeys but also potentially some powerful skills that cost lives, some stuff to set them apart from other Magic Monkeys as well as the Heli Pilot, y'know? Also, Vampires are traditionally sapphic. This doesn't relate to the tower. Anyway, just make sure you turn OFF the Vampire Hunter cosmetics on the Monkey Engineer if you have them while using Engineer Vampire strategies lol.
Magic #2: Cartoon Monkey
I struggled a lot on this one TBH but an old-timey cartoon character for a monkey can be interesting, especially since they can start with gloved punch attacks that are longer range than the melee heroes or the Beast Handlers but are still shorter ranged than something like a Dart Monkey shot, I guess sort of like Jake's spear hand attack. In fact, they'd probably just get a bunch of different cartoon gag attacks, stuff you'd see in Toontown Online or Who Framed Roger Rabbit for example, that would all serve different purposes, making them really similar to Jake. I mean, hey, all the Monkey Characters from Bloons Adventure Time TD were based on towers from Bloons but while some of the Adventure Time characters took on the role of Bloons towers like default Princess Bubblegum and Ice King being the Glue Gunner and Ice Monkey some of them were original, so it's not that weird to get some overlap with them right? Especially with the CARTOON Monkey, and even more especially with the MAGIC Category considering the nature of Adventure Time. Oh, and in case you're wondering how this fits the category outside of how abused the label of "Magic" gets considering superheroes, ninjas, and science are somehow all considered magic, it's the magic of animation! Plus they'd probably be some sort of drawing brought to life or maybe just actually made out of ink, and their cartoony mishaps would certainly be very much like magic (I mean think about it, a lot of the nonsense cartoons get up to would be considered magic in a realistic setting, such as when the Roadrunner runs through a drawing as if it's a real road!)
Magic Honourable Mentions:
Pixie Monkey, I was thinking it'd be nice to juxtapose the horror-y and Halloween-y Vampire with a more light-hearted fairy tale creature and first thought of a Pixie or something but ultimately they'd be surprisingly similar to the Vampire or Alchemist with the way I thought of how they'd work.
Dart Chimera, this is a concept that I had thought of as a Fauna counterpart to the Druid's mostly Flora theming (even if bottom path is very wolf-y) but ultimately that theme is now covered by the Beast Handler. The Dart Chimera was also going to have a lot of attacks based off of Special Agents, though, since I miss their inclusions and they're not getting in if they're not at least part Monkey since Ninjakiwi is leaning away from non-Monkey towers. They'd also be amphibious with a slightly different design that's easy to make just by briefly editing the base art, because having an amphibious tower would be cool.
Leprechaun Monkey, the idea of a tower who you can put more cash into not to upgrade them but to fuel their attacks in some way is cool but Leprechauns are very stereotypically Irish which makes them feel a bit wonky identity-wise imo.
Ghoul Monkey, some sort of spooky scary tower who freezes Bloons in place and knocks them back, maybe possessing them or other towers for some sort of power bonus or something, but since I already suggested the Vampire Monkey I didn't want both of the new Magic Monkeys to be heavily Halloween-based.
Yeti Monkey, could be similar to the Ice Monkey but with more brute strength early-on so that we get another tower who does Freezing since that's a really underused gimmick as time has gone on but ultimately not sure where all they go with that.
Sea Monkey, a basic and good idea but I think Ninjakiwi has mentioned being against the idea of having more water towers due to water being a limited resource (I guess the compromise was Beast Handler having one upgrade path limited to water)
Grim Reaper, I don't want to blatantly steal ideas from mods but the Grim Reaper Monkey IS a cool and unique concept, even if they might be hard to balance.
Gravity Monkey, I like taking stuff from other Bloons games and putting them in the Tower Defense series but the only way I can imagine a Gravity Monkey would be even more support-based than the Alchemist is, increasing damage/other functionality from track hazards, increasing projectile lifespan, and slowing down Bloons. I guess if the Ice Monkey and Glue Gunner can be Primary Towers then it'd be TECHNICALLY allowed, but like, nah I'm not gonna do that. In that right I guess this also counts as an honourable mention for the upcoming Support section!
The ideas have been a bit off-the-wall up to this point, but my concepts for Support Towers are actually very pre-mediated and solidified, relatively speaking anyway.
Support #1: Bloon Inflation Factory
From Bloons Monkey City, this tower is now used on the battlefield! If we get Bloons Monkey City 2 it'd probably be handled in the same way that Banana Farms are handled, where the resource building is ALSO a building that provides a tower. Now, the idea of a Bloon factory isn't exactly unique, but I feel like people's ideas for this sort of tower vary, with a big thing being that the Bloons would just... attack other Bloons somehow? Not in this concept, though. You're literally just summoning more Bloons that WILL take lives. But what's the point of this outside of bottom path Druid? Well, we don't really have a CHEAP eco tower, and for good reason! It's way too easy to save up for OP stuff if you just get to invest into money generation even earlier than a Banana Farm or Merchantman with no drawback. But Bloons give money, right? If only you could have a round be a little bit longer to get more money... Aha! There it is. The Bloon Inflation Factory is relatively cheap, but it makes it even harder to defend in exchange for more money. At the base level, anyway. And no, they won't give money in CHIMPS, so a base level Bloon Inflation Factory in CHIMPS is either there just for the challenge or so that you can take advantage of something like Bottom Path Druid. To stop this from scaling too poorly or too well into lategame however, the RBE and individual Bloon count that it can send out is based off of the actual Bloons in the round and is limited to something like 30 RBE and 20 Bloons or something. One path will be dedicated to money-making and decreasing that limit, one path will be for popping power using player-rotatable Power Pops from the Bloons series, Bloons Pop!, and perhaps even the Bloons Super Monkey series and Bloons Supermonkey 2, (That'd be the Middle Path so that there can be especially powerful Power Pops locked to a cooldown), that way we don't have 2 towers that are 100% useless in CHIMPS, and also a path where the tier 1 and 2 upgrades make the Bloons it sends easier to deal with (Making them take less lives and making it so that, while still giving the normal amount of cash, they take an extra point of damage from each attack) before transitioning into a debuff tower who uses the similarities between the Bloons it's sending out to fool the nearby natural Bloons into becoming weaker (since the Bloons being sent out from the Bloon Inflation Factory already have those two upgrades that make them easier to handle) in various ways themselves, based off of the heavily adaptive nature of the Bloons (For example, Bloons 1 where all except 1 type of Bloon are heavily based off of towers from the first few Bloons games, and the Bloons Super Monkey series + Bloons Supermonkey 2 where the Bloons make formations of other existing things such as arrows and even Sentry Turrets. I mean c'mon even the Power Pops are based off of things that Monkeys do such as Magic Bloons and Tack Bloons). Believe it or not, despite me being big on Bloons lore, that's the one path that I didn't think of until this post. Oh, speaking of lore, this actually benefits it. Like, anyone else remember that one meme where it's said that Monkeys would never harm each other with Bloons or something and yet MVM still exists in Bloons Monkey City? Clearly it's supposed to be hush hush, but that's sort of weird considering the MVM buildings being built. So clearly this tower's existence is, in part, a cover-up for MVM by the Bloonminati! Anyway, it can't hurt to have another debuff tower, especially one that's actually in the SUPPORT category. Though I'm sort of torn on whether or not this would also cause the Bloons to adapt to not having certain properties such as Regrow because that just puts it really close to Embrittlement. Also the fifth tier should probably be something more interesting than just Super Brittle with a potential slow or a diet Bloon Master Alchemist, maybe the Bloons start adapting target patterns from the Bloon Inflation Factory that cause projectiles within a certain range to home in on them? That'd be cool! Oh, and for those wondering, this wouldn't adapt well to Bloons TD Battles 2 since you don't get cash from pops, but that's fine because the COBRA would probably be a Support Monkey anyway. Alternatively the Bloon Inflation Factory can be fully transformed into a tower that, instead of soley buffing the eco from your Bloon sends (since that's locked to a very expensive Monkey Village upgrade for good reason, though it'd probably be fine for a specific expensive path for a Battles 2 Bloon Inflation Factory) it would actually strengthen your rushes, such as giving an extra Bloon per Bloon Send or increasing their speed or something, maybe with a defensive path for the Power Pops which infects your opponent's Bloons. Though outright allowing you to send certain Bloons early would probably be going too far into COBRA's territory lol.
Support #2: Barricade Creator (Monkey Architect is a cool name for them too but feels too similar to Engineer lol)
The obstacle system is a very unique BTD6 mechanic, but it's not really in your hands outside of paying for it. I don't think I'm the only one who's thought of an idea like this, either. Their basic skill is holding back Bloons for a certain amount of time (Probably a similar system to the Wall Nut from Plants vs. Zombies where the wall is degraded by a Bloon pushing against it and is degraded more by more Bloons and of higher strengths). They're pretty cheap, but their wall is also an obstacle. Though you might want this for certain things such as 2 Megapops challenges, to be fair. The wall can be placed off-track (Both for specifically blocking projectiles and also for if you don't want normal Bloons to put stress on the wall, so that it can hold specifically MOABs, though at a base level due to how cheap the tower is they'd probably just have to not be able to wall off MOABs without upgrading a bit, though probably no specific upgrade but instead a tier minimum such as 2 or 3 so that there isn't a crosspath that just doesn't hold MOABs lol). If it's not placed right on a track then it'll have a default rotation that you can change by clicking on it and holding down while moving your mouse in the direction it should be rotated in. The wall will be repaired slowly over time if no Bloons are attacking it. Low tier upgrades will have various utility upgrades such as better handling of higher tiers and quantities of Bloons, the rate at which it is repaired, possibly having more than one wall up at a time, and perhaps an after-effect of the wall collapsing, such as being made out of volatile bricks popping a few Bloon layers. Oh, and the ability to make hazard removal cheaper, I think someone else already did that idea with something similar but I mean it just kinda feels natural. It might be tempting to just give a high-pierce explosion but I feel like that's too similar to Spiked Mines, being a track hazard that expires then explodes, especially if you want to give the wall the ability to pop Bloons that are pushing against it. One path can have a third-tier upgrade called "Special Materials" which is an especially big part of this tower concept. So, a lot of things from the original Bloons series are represented, even including the Ceramic and Lead blocks, however I think that part of the obstacle system in BTD6 was to reference how the Ceramic and Lead blocks actually functioned in comparison to the Ceramic and Lead Bloons. But there's something missing. The rubber obstacle! Basically the only bouncing projectile is when you have a Spike-O-Pult+. So the Special Materials upgrade gives targeting options. Brick can be a default or something, but then you have Rubber, which blocks energy-based projectiles (Not soley based off of damage type since "Normal" includes both energy-esque projectiles AND solid projectiles) but bounces solid projectiles, increasing their lifespan and buffing the power of Spike-O-Pult+ (So that they still have their speciality.) Then there's Mirror, which does the same but it blocks solid projectiles while reflecting energy projectiles. There can also be Glass which would just block solid projectiles but let energy projectiles go right through. Worth noting that Rubber would have fairly high durability against Bloons since it bounces them away so that they aren't constantly attacking but, while leaving behind volatile glass shards, the Mirror and Glass would be very frail to Bloons. After that upgrade would be a target upgrade which has a button that looks similar to re-target buttons that are being introduced in the upcoming update except it's instead a toggle that changes between no image, to an image with a Bloon on it for negative priority attacking, (So you can, for example, have a Juggernaut attack it constantly when no Bloons are in their range and their projectiles will hit Bloons far outside of their range after bouncing), to an image with a Bloon with a target on them for top priority attacking, (So you can, for example, have Quincy attack a Rubber wall, buffing the next hit of his projectile[s] while also activating the very accurate part of his attack where it bounces from Bloon to Bloon, instead of having him try to attack a Pink Bloon only to miss). Then the fifth tier would probably be some sort of cool portal upgrade where a portal will take any projectile to another placed portal at an angle you decide the same way that wall angles are decided. Would also probably be able to transport Ceramics and below, maybe with some sort of limitation so that you can't just perma-loop Ceramics (While Spirit of the Forest handles infinite Ceramics that's not accounting for freeplay scaling of Super Ceramics so that's different). The portals would strengthen projectiles maybe a bit stronger than reflections and bounces but the main benefit is just the ability to teleport projectiles to anywhere you want while greatly increasing their lifespan, probably losing the specific synergy with Spike-O-Pult+. Middle Path would probably just be a basic "Wall even more Bloons more strongly!" path with a fortification ability, just an extremified form of the base concept, cool stuff. Then the final path can, regardless of if that brick idea is on the same path as the "More Materials" concept, focus more on handling the Bloons AFTER the wall is defeated. I'm personally a fan of there being snow on top of the wall so that all the Bloons get frozen after the wall is destroyed because WE NEED MORE FREEZING. Maybe the fifth tier can be a mountain that has an avalanche, allowing it to do massive damage and freeze MOAB- Nah that's too similar to Icicle Impale isn't it... Well, if we get rid of the cool ice gimmick then it can just be some sort of volatile wall. Maybe it does more damage based off of the quantity of Bloons? Some sort of... Recoil upgrade? That could be neat. Anyway I don't know how well this tower translates to Battles 2 but if they wouldn't translate well then that's why I gave an alternate function of the Bloon Inflation Factory, in case the COBRA would take this tower's spot instead lol
Support Honourable Mentions:
Reworked Monkey Academy, in case you don't know there lies in the code a tower that had paths that would buff Magic towers, Support Towers, and Military Towers/Heroes, but it was ultimately scrapped for one reason or another (Some of the buffs were wild like decreasing Military Monkey footprint lol)
Terraforming Tower, could have some things from Barricade Creator while also helping with placement in places that wouldn't normally be allowed such as water on land, land on water, and and tower on aipath, but that admittedly sounds a little bit too strong unless you make them overpriced, kinda hard to balance like the Bloonchipper though maybe it's not that bad lol.
Bloon Delayer, something that, by your command, moves Bloons to later rounds so you deal with them later. I dunno seems neat.
​
Feel free to KINDLY share constructive criticism and also your own ideas! I'll try to not be too critical of you as long as you're not overly critical of me ;)

Since I took delivery of my MYP in mid February it has been in the service for 2 weeks to fix a number of issues including interior trim, exterior alignment and paint fix on the trunk.
Just as I was thinking how nice it drives and finally I am done with most of the issues (the rest was unfixable like trunk alignment), today as I was driving in a semi smooth road (not even but also not bad) it began to rattle.
Unless the road is perfectly smooth even a slight imperfection causes rattle.
I made sure the car was empty hence nothing was moving, secured the seatbelts and sat in the rear while it was being driven. It sounds like it is coming from the trunk door or close by.
I fully opened the trunk door and lightly shake the door. It sounded similar to the rattles I am hearing.
Any help would be appreciated, I am really tired of going to the service at this point.

Expedition report from Rift Group 4
Report carried out by Lieutenant Marvin Bailey
Report states: Peaceful contact with the local town of Una has ended in failure. Upon nearing the gates, the elves demanded RG-4 to identify themselves and after identification, they opened fire on with bows, crossbows, and scorpions. RG4 retaliated by opening fire with its 50mm chain gun, destroying parts of the wall, killing an unknown number of defenders, and destroying their heavy defenses. The initial shock from the chain gun froze the defenders, allowing RG-4 to vacate the area with minimum damage and no losses taken. This was the first unsuccessful interaction with the local populace since the beginning of the expedition and the Rift Group program and it shows that not all natives will be pleased with REC's arrival.
Other news: The enemy force on the other side of the North Alston river has not shown any signs of movement. Moreover, drone footage shows a number of the local populace leaving the Meilume capital and Una across the river, further suggesting that the Imperial army wishes to fortify and wall off the area between the two Alston rivers with the intention of boxing the REC before attacking. CIA sources can confirm this is the case. As far as the Rosian vassal kingdoms are concerned, RG-1, upon making successful contact with the border town of Afa, has sent a platoon, led by lieutenant James Wilson, to the Alston capital of Olinor where they made contact with the king of Alston, Thavok Zorgen. After a number of debates, king Thavok has agreed to accompany the platoon to the duchies of Zirith, Dothen, and Elarith, as well as the kingdom of Opherin to convince the dukes and kind Ostontul to attend a meeting with ambassador Eugene Anderson. Additional transportation will be provided should it be necessary.
30th day of late yellow season
Elyana, Empire of Light
"So.", said the chained human, "Is it my turn to pick the nail or yours?". The torturer responded by punching him in the face. The prisoner spat out a piece of his tooth before answering, "C'mon, you're supposed to be consistent. It's nail, nail, cut, punch. The teeth come later when all the nails are gone. Everyone knows that.". The torturer punched him again. "There you go again, messing up the consistency. I think I know why you work in this shit hole now."
The torturer wanted to hit him again, but a voice stopped him, "Enough!". A moment later, two elves walked into the room.
"Great General Laeroth.", the torturer said as he bowed.
"How is the questioning, Maul?", Laeroth asked.
"Not well, my lord. This human is proving to be a greater challenge than I had anticipated. All I got was a name. Jack Mitchell."
Laeroth sighed as he approached the chained-up human. His body was cut in several places and half of his fingernails have been removed. In addition, he was missing two teeth and bleeding from his mouth and nose. Yet he still denies Maul. As much as it pained Laeroth to admit it, he was impressed. Any Rosian or even elf would have broken by now. What made this human different?
"Jack Mitchell.", Laeroth said, making Jack lift his head and smile.
"What's up?", Jack asked.
"The ceiling.", Laeroth answered, making Jack laugh. "What is humorous?"
"Maul over there said the same thing.", Jack replied as he wheezed, "You sure you're not related? You got the same shade."
This made Maul mad as he grabbed his hammer, "You insolent savage!"
"Calm yourself.", Laeroth said, "I still need this human alive. High mage Gunru, you have my permission.".
"Yes, general.", said Gunru. He was one of the seven high mages of the empire in North Altia, second only to the grand mage Ishton. Each high mage is able to use more than one type of magical ability. Usually, a mage is only able to use one ability from a single spirit. The mages of Vita can be healers or they can use their power to give life to made objects. This way they can create their own army, however, the mage has to remain alive in order for the creature to remain alive, and if the creature is destroyed the life will return back to its source. The mages of Elendi can use one of the various elements, such as wind, fire, water, and so on. One other ability the high mages possess is 'Mind read'. By focusing their spiritual energy on the mind of the target, they can visualize their knowledge.
"What the hell are you doing?", Jack asked as Gunru grabbed his head with both hands, "I mean I'm flattered but I'm into women, just so you know."
Gunru closed his eyes and white energy started appearing from his hands. That energy went into Jack's head, which remained perfectly still as this occurred. Gunru entered his mind and began to project Jack's memories, thoughts, and knowledge around him. Laeroth just watched. He himself couldn't see unless Gunru gave the knowledge to him. But he did see something that disturbed him. Gunru began to twitch. A twitching that turned to shake as his eyes opened and quickly pulled back while panting and holding his head as though he had a headache.
"Gunru.", Laeroth called, "Tell me, what have you seen?"
Gunru shook and could barely grasp the words to speak, "T-T-Terrible things. A mistake. All of this was a mistake."
"Show me."
"No!", Gunru yelled immediately, "You must not. I could not get all the details myself. You will go insane."
"I must know our enemy. Even if it is a little, I must know. Gunru, you must show me."
Gunru greatly hesitated and opposed this. But at the same time, he knew if anyone was able to take the strain, it was Laeroth, the most loyal servant of the empire. "Very well. I shall show you as much as I can. Forgive me."
As Gunru placed his hands on Laeroth's head, the same energy went into it. Laeroth opened his eyes and found himself on a field of battle. Two sides were fighting, humans. One side had blue clothing and the other was red, both fighting with cannons and boomsticks, but nothing else. The blue-clothed soldiers appeared to be winning and they charged the red ones, all while carrying a flag. Red and white stripes with stars. It was brutal. What could it mean?
Night turned to day over and over again, until another battle occurred. Same thing, broomsticks, and cannons, but they fought each other. Once again, there was a flag with stars and stripes but now there were two. A civil war? Hundreds of thousands of men died all for what?
Fast forward, Laeroth appeared in another field, but considerably more terrifying. It was a field of black mud, ash, and blood as far as the eye could see. Thousands upon thousands of bodies piled up around giant cannons that fired and destroyed castles. He could see waves of soldiers running forward at their dug-in enemies. They fell by the dozen until a few lucky ones reached the line and engaged in a brutal brawl. The fighting kept escalating until a massive white cloud filled the battlefield and everyone caught in started choking and dying.
Once the smoke cleared, Laeroth could see hundreds of thousands, no, millions of soldiers and armored beasts marching across a field. They fought another gigantic army, one Laeroth thought could never exist. Millions of troops met on the battlefield and slaughtered one another as the metal monsters spat fire and thousands of iron wyverns fought in the air. Massive ships of steel fired enormous cannons of steel at one another as hundreds of iron rods fell from the sky and flattened the cities below.
Closing and opening his eyes one more time he saw a city. A large city with towers of stone and glass that pierced the clouds. But then he saw it get destroyed as it was engulfed in a literal sea of flames. All of those people were dead in an instant, and in place of the city was a gigantic cloud in the shape of a mushroom.
The day turned to night again as Laeroth was lifted into the air and observed the world change. The nations fought one another while also existing in peace. Cities became massive and their armies even more powerful. But then, the fires came. The great cities turned to a smoldering pile of ash as they turned on one another in the name of 'salvation'. War, disease, poverty, entire civilizations were whipped out and empires started to fall. But in this chaos, something was born. The petty rivalry of the great powers vanished and united they led their armies and pulled the corruption by its roots. It took them decades but they did it. And now united, they rebuilt their homes. The world was not at peace but they made the most of it. At least until they showed up. The rift opened, the invasion failed and now an angered giant prepares to take its vengeance and punish them for their crimes.
Gunru stopped sending energy into Laeroth's mind and let go of his head. Laeroth bent over and panted. His heart was racing and his nose bleeding. He could not believe what he saw. Was there really no hope? Was this war lost before it even began? How was he to win? He wasn't, but he knew he couldn't just give up. His pride as a warrior and a soldier wouldn't let him. But more than that, it was Canus. His maniacal nature coupled with fear will only make things worse if he were to find out. Furthermore, the Inquisition will most likely pull strings and keep the war going for their sick and twisted games. Laeroth knew he had to come up with something, otherwise, the empire will crumble.
"General, are you alright.", Maul asked.
"I am fine Maul.", Laeroth answered, "Take the human back to the cell and treat his wounds. I will let you know what I want with him next later."
"Yes, my lord.", Maul said as he gestured to the guards to help him.
"Gunru."
"Yes, general?", Gunru answered.
"You must not speak of this to anyone. Not even the emperor. This stays between us. Do you understand me?"
"Yes, general."
"Good. Now excuse me, I must clean myself and prepare for the future.". Laeroth left the torture chamber and climbed up the steps to the halls. On his way to his personal chamber, he could feel a strange sensation run down his spine. The effects of the mind read? No, this was something else. He made a random turn and walked down a narrow hallway. After taking a few steps, he prepared a knife and waited. Soon, a cloaked individual suddenly appeared from behind the corner and started running away. Laeroth immediately gave chase, signaling the guards in front to stop him. Two guards formed up with shields, which made him stop for a moment. After a moment Laeroth threw his knife at his back. He yelled in pain as he fell over and the guards moved in.
"Leave him!", Laeroth shouted as he grabbed the man and pulled the cloak down. It turned out to be a woman. "Who sent you!? Talk!". His words fell on deaf ears as the woman's head twitched and a thick purple foam-like substance oozed from her mouth. Laeroth groaned and let her go, "Burn the body. Speak nothing of this.". The guards nodded and carried the body outside.
'Gilshor.', Laeroth thought, 'I will not let you turn this war into your own personal puppet show. The darkness will not rule the light.'
---
(Meanwhile)
Upper level of the Imperial palace
Lilyth Camilla Agorix was always a strange girl. While the other girls took care of their hair, she took care of the armor forged specifically for her. While the other girls practiced knitting and read poetry, she expressed an interest in politics and philosophy. This behavior wasn't particularly accepted by her father. Her mother, on the other hand, empress Alruna Flavia Agorix, greatly supported her. It was thanks to her effort that women were allowed to join the army, and at the moment, a tenth of the army is female. Alruna wasn't named the Lioness for anything, and Lilyth tries to live up to her expectations.
But some members of the family aren't as hard-working as her. Her brother Armas is the biggest and most disgusting slob. She could hear him and his hooligans laugh in his chamber. Trying her best to ignore them, she walked past, but as Armas exited the room he called her over, "Hey sister! Come on in. We have room."
Lilyth groaned, "I have more important matters to attend to than entertain a room full of children."
Armas laughed, "Oh come on, loosen up. The slaves taught me that."
"Armas, if mother finds out-"
"What? What will she do? These slaves were given to me and I can do whatever I want with them."
"Is that so?", spoke a mature womanly voice, "Tell me, Armas, what exactly have you been doing?"
"M-Mother?", Armas uttered. Next to her was the second youngest daughter, Khelsa, along with the captive human girl, Amy. The two became friends after Amy arrived and while Alruna didn't support it at first, she learned that a child is a child, and her being from a supposedly savage land is irrelevant. "Nothing. Just questioning these captives with my soldiers."
"You mean raping women with your hooligans.", Alruna said as she walked into his room. The stench and sight made her sick. "Guards! Take these women to my chambers and bring along some maids. Clean them, feed them, and dress them properly." Guards did just that, pushing away the thugs who grunted in response.
"Khelsa?", Amy asked, "Is that your brother?"
Khelsa sighed in response, "Yes. I'm sorry you had to see this."
As the guards took the women out, Armas protested, "Mother, this is unfair. These women are my slaves. Furthermore, they are savages from a barbaric land. They should consider themselves lucky to even be in my presence. Father says-"
Alruna slapped him, stopping his sentence, "Your father may be the emperor, but I know him better than anyone else. He is narrow-minded and frightened, only seeing what is right in front of him, and never bothering to properly assess anything. We may be the chosen bringers of light, but if we act as barbaric as our adversaries then we are no better than them. Now, get this room cleaned and then yourself. You are royalty, act like it." With that Alruna and Lilyth left, leaving Armas to bicker and throw tantrums.
"Thank you, mother.", Lilyth said, "I must go now."
"Go, my daughter.", said Alruna. Lilyth bowed and entered her chamber.
"Fenris.", she spoke, "Is everything ready?"
"Yes, princess.", Fenris said, "The savage stands before you in chains and the scribe has prepared the parchment."
"Excellent. Scribe, you are to document any and all findings. Listen carefully. Do you understand?"
"Yes, princess.", answered the scribe.
"Let us begin.", Lilyth said as she walked to the captive, "What is your name?"
"You know that.", he answered and received a back-handed slap. After moving his head back, he answered, "Brian O'Neil."
"Where are you from?"
"My mom.", to which he received a punch in the stomach. It didn't hurt a lot, considering he was a large man. "The United States of America."
"Tell me more about it."
"It's a unity of fifty-two states with three hundred and fifty million people."
This shocked Lilyth but she didn't show it, "Are there more countries?"
"Many more. My country isn't even the biggest one."
"So there are more empires in your world."
"No, there aren't any."
Lilyth paused for a moment, "Then what?"
"We are a republic. We elect our leader and that leader represents us. He doesn't have all the power and all of his decisions are put to a vote. Empires and kings are a thing of the past."
"You expect me to believe that? A nation cannot function without a centralized figure controlling it."
Brad chuckled, "We use to think that, too. But we found out that the opposite is true. One person can control a city, or maybe a small nation. But the bigger a nation gets and the more powerful it gets, the more strain appears on a single person. This is why our nations are governed by dozens of people and we have careful systems for governance. A single person is not enough. He would only bring ruin."
This shocked Lilyth more. A system like this was always theorized by politicians and philosophers, but nothing was ever tested because the emperors abolished it, saying that it goes against the path of light. "You say that. But our empire has grown powerful and spread across the world. We have become its rulers and spreaders of wisdom, knowledge, and civilization."
"There used to be an empire in my world that thought just like you. They wanted to conquer the entire world and make it so that only their ways exist. Do you want to know what happened?"
"What?"
"They became too big. There was too much ground. Their forces were spread thin and could be picked off by united barbarians who didn't like their ways. War stopped and since their economy depended on it, it crumbled. Their politicians became corrupt and power-hungry. They stole from and even killed each other. Eventually, they fell beneath the force of the united kingdoms they called savages and were wiped out. This is why no one can truly conquer the world. No matter how hard you fight, the world always wins."
Lilyth clenched her fists and stared at Brad with an angered look, "You say that we will end up the same?"
"If you refuse to change, then yes.".
After staring at him for a few moments, she spoke, "Fenris! Take him back to his cell. We will continue this tomorrow."
"At once, princess.", Fenris said and grabbed Brad by the arm.
As they were walking out the door, Brad turned his head to Fenris, "You know she likes you, right?".
Fenris looked at him for a bit before pushing him forward. Lilyth was left to ponder Brad's words. There is still much for her to learn.
---
(That night)
Somewhere between Meilume capital and Una
Being a prisoner is never good. Your rights are taken away and the ones who captured you can do anything they want to you. They could kill you, sell you or worse. This was the predicament the Belus family found itself in. Out of the two hundred soldiers that accompanied them, only one soldier remained, the others were killed and fed to the welfen and leanoids. The Belus family was in a cage with the last soldier, Klaus, and a servant, Lia. The five of them were all sitting with their hands tied behind their backs, wondering what will happen next. Taria was still grieving over the death of Aego, not even lifting her head.
"Bellon.", Nimriel whispered, "What will happen to us?"
"Do not worry.", Bellon said, "We will alright."
"Stop lying, father.", Taria said, still with head lowered, "These people will first rape us, torture us and then demand ransom from the empire."
"Hush, my lady.", Lia said, "Don't say such things."
"What? The truth?"
"You should listen to the little girl.", said a rogue elf as he crouched in front of the cage. Behind him was the fire in the center of the camp with four more rogues, two leanoids, and one welfen. Most of the bandits were asleep, only over a dozen stayed awake. "The money we'll get from you will make us set for life. Sure, we might have lost more than half our men, but that just means more for the living."
Taria spat, "Open this cage and I'll show you a little girl."
The rogue chuckled, "Quite a fighter. I saw you kill that leanoid. You're good. Why don't you come with us?"
"Why would I join a bunch of good-for-nothing traitors? You know nothing of honor, duty or the light."
The rogue laughed, "They still teach that shit? The light is nothing but a made-up excuse the first emperor made so we can take these lands. People like us? We see the truth. And all of you are being manipulated."
"You dare mock the path of light?", asked Bellon.
"Shouldn't a bad joke be mocked?"
Taria and Bellon gritted their teeth. This is why rogues are killed on sight. They know nothing but greed. As Taria stared at the rogue, something appeared in the corner of her vision. A man in green armor held a black boomstick and aimed it at the bandits by the fire. She looked around and saw six more. Are they insane? If they fire it, it will alert everyone. But when they fired them, only a slight sound was heard. Enough for the rogue in front of her to turn around. He saw his mates dead, but couldn't call for help as his neck was ripped out by a welfen. The Belus family was in shock as the welfen opened the cage.
"Don't be afraid.", he spoke, "I'm with the Americans."
This confused the family. "Who?", Taria asked.
Soon after, a soldier in green got to them, "My name is Lieutenant Caden Roberts of RG-3. We're here to rescue you.". He cut their ropes and waved his hand to signal the rest of his men. As they moved, Taria saw the dead bodies of the bandits and when they got out of the camp she could see that only fifteen soldiers, including two tribals, came to rescue them.
"Who are you people?", Taria asked.
"We're the Rift Expeditionary Force from the United States of America.", said the lieutenant as he pressed a small metallic box which caused the entire bandit camp to get engulfed in flames. The bandits burned and screamed, some ran out of the camp but got shot by the green soldiers. Their camouflaged armor, repeating broomsticks, and fire magic puzzled Taria greatly. She couldn't even see their faces from their masks and eyewear. Who are they? Her questions had to wait a little longer, as iron carriages moved from behind them and opened.
"Lieutenant, is it go time?", spoke the man from one of the carriages.
"Yeah.", said the lieutenant, "Let's go, I'll get them to the MRAP. Come on.". He led the five of them to the middle carriages through its back door. It looked like it was completely made of metal and that it could take a cannon shot. This just further confused them. As the carriages started moving, they noticed that it was going at high speeds, even faster than horses.
"Who are you?", Bellon asked, "What do you want from us?"
The soldiers in front of them looked at each other before taking their masks and helmets off, revealing their pale faces. It wasn't anything sinister and they didn't look like they intended to harm them.
"I am sergeant Jeff Parker.", spoke one of them.
"I am staff sergeant Liam Cook.", spoke the other one, "Over here is Lioba, our feelian, and Olaf, our friendly welfen."
"It's welfen that attacked us.", Klaus spoke.
"Do not speak as if they are of my kind.", said Olaf in an angered tone, "Those beasts lost their meaning in life."
"What do you mean?", Jeff asked.
"Each wolf lives for the pack. For the tribe. He fights for it, provides for it, and dies for it. These wolves, they've abandoned their blood and chosen the life of a wild animal. They're no better than the ferals."
"I see. We have those too. We call them deserters. They flee the army and abandon their brothers. And so we hunt them down and punish them."
"As you should."
After some silence, Klaus spoke, "Forgive me. I meant no disrespect.". Olaf nodded.
"Are you taking us home?", Nimriel asked.
"No.", Liam said, "We're taking you to Galdush. Our lieutenant-general wishes to speak with you. Well, lord Bellon more specifically." The five went silent. This was the enemy from the rift, and now they're taking them to their leader.
"Are we to become your slaves then?", Taria asked.
Jeff and Liam chuckled a bit. "No no, of course not. That kind of thing is in the past for us. Our lieutenant-general only wants to speak with you. After a nice conversation, we will personally bring you back to the Meilume capital."
"How do you know its name?", Bellon asked.
"We have our ways. Now sit back and enjoy the ride.", Liam said as he pulled some blocks out of his pocket. When he opened it, it was gray and seemed to be food. After offering it to Lia, he spoke, "Hungry?". After some hesitation, Lia took it and tasted it. It was quite delicious. As she ate the whole thing, Liam chuckled as he opened a bag, "Don't strain yourself, I have enough for everyone."
---
(Several hours later)
Fort Galdush
"My lady.", said Lia as she shook Taria, "My lady, wake up, we've arrived."
Taria woke up, "What? How long have I been asleep?"
"A few hours, my lady."
This was surprising, to say the least, "We're already here?". She looked out the window and saw their fort as well as their machines. The M2 battle tanks rolled over the hills and fired at the targets, blasting through them. She saw soldiers shooting their guns and groups running in a circle. At the gate, the lieutenant introduced himself and the convoy continued. Inside, they could see soldiers clad in thick, metal armor carrying large boxes and as they got out of the MRAP they saw the Invictus ACs flying in the air. All of this overwhelmed them. To them, these were otherworldly monsters. To the rangers, it was a normal everyday occurrence.
Lieutenant Roberts stood in front of his men, "Alright. I will take lord Bellon Belus to lieutenant-general Coleman. Parker, Cook, you take the rest to their temporary residents."
"Yes sir.", both of them said as they saluted, "Okay, let's go. I promise it's nothing bad."
Taria, Lia, Nimriel, and Klaus went with Jeff and Liam to their residence while Caden took Bellon to the lieutenant-general. The two of them went into the central command building.
"Lieutenant Caden Roberts of Rift Group 3 here to see colonel Andrew Marshal and lieutenant-general Patrick Coleman.", he said to a woman who worked as a secretary.
After some delay, the woman nodded, "Go down the hall to meeting room two."
"Thank you. Come on.". Bellon followed Caden through the hall. He admired how it was crystal clear and pearl white like they were made of pure marble. As they walked they reached the meeting room and entered. Inside were two men who stood up immediately.
"Good morning.", said the first man, "I am lieutenant-general Patrick Coleman of the Rift Expeditionary Corp. And this is our logistics officer, colonel Andrew Marshal."
"Nice to meet you.", Andrew said, "You are the lord of Meilume, Bellon Belus, correct?"
Bellon stuttered, "Y-Yes I am. Great general, you have my eternal gratitude for saving my life, and my family.", he said as he bowed.
"Please.", Patrick spoke, "No need to bow. And please call me Patrick. Sit down."
"Thank you, Patrick.", Bellon said as he sat down, Caden next to him.
"While I accept your gratitude, I'm going to need to ask something else of you?"
'Of course. What was I expecting?', Bellon thought, "And what would that be? If it is gold I assure you the emperor will pay a decent sum for my family and me."
"Oh no, god no. I'm not asking for money. I need something from you that only someone of your status within the empire can provide."
'Someone of my status'. "What exactly?"
"As you know, your empire opened a rift in our country and attacked without warning and unprovoked. We beat the invasion force and the force than came after it. You lost two armies in less than a month, or, a moon cycle as you call them."
"Yes, I am aware of this. What does that have to do with me? I didn't send those armies."
"We know. But you have a connection with the person who did. And we want you to send a message to him for us."
'A message?' "And what kind of message?"
"We would like an audience with a representative to negotiate peace."
This stunned Bellon. 'Peace?'
---
(Meanwhile)
Jeff and Liam brought the four to an empty army barracks, reserved for these situations. "Okay.", Liam spoke, "You'll be staying here until the lieutenant-general orders otherwise. Don't worry, you'll be comfortable." They entered the barracks and it was clean, with several beds, a fridge, desks, and lights, which Jeff turned on, surprising the 'guests'.
"Make yourselves at home.", Jeff said, "I'll bring you some breakfast soon.". He left and closed the door, leaving the four to talk.
"What do you think will happen, Klaus?", Nimriel asked.
"I don't know, my lady.", he answered, "But we shouldn't do anything to anger them. I think we should wait and see what is to come."
Taria looked out the window and saw the tanks and LAVs driving past as well as soldiers marching in unison. "Incredible. All this power. They could have destroyed Meilume before we even had the chance to escape. And yet here we are. In their fortress, waiting for them to bring us food. They want something."
"Well.", Lia said, "That man who offered me the sweet food was nice. I think they're not that bad."
"They are the enemy, Lia. Enemies should never be trusted. It might seem like they are good, but they are using us. They want us here so we can witness their power and use us to spread fear through the rest of the empire. Clever."
"I think you are thinking too much about it, my lady. Perhaps you need to sit down, and rest."
Taria sighed. She walked to a nearby desk and observed the notebooks, pens, and pencils. She sat down and opened a notebook, immediately noticing how the paper is milk-white with lines to help her writing. Picking up one of the pens, she observed how smooth it was and made of spotless, thin metal, but also how it didn't have a tip. Then she noticed the round top and remembered how the lieutenant pressed his metal box. Pressing down the top, the pen clicked and the tip appeared. Amazed, she clicked it several more times before starting to write.
"Taria?", Nimriel asked, "What are you doing?"
"I'm writing down what I saw."
At that moment, Jeff opened the door and brought several white cardboard boxes, "I brought breakfast. I hope it's to your liking."
Each of them took one and Jeff put the last one on Taria's desk. She looked at him and asked, "Can you show me more of your fortress?"
Jeff hesitated a bit, "Why?"
"I'm curious. I wish to learn."
"So you can write it down and give the information to the army?". Taria sat silently. This wasn't untrue. "Look, we're not your enemy. Our commanding officer is talking to your father about peace. Truth is, we don't want war.". Taria paused to think about that. "But if I get permission, I'll show you around."
"I would appreciate it. Thank you."
​
End of chapter 10
​
---
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She is the kind of woman who is naturally kind, calm, and deeply empathetic, yet so full of life and sometimes goofy and silly. Kids love her, and so do animals. She always tries to help others and feels genuinely bad when she can't for any reason. She easily sheds tears, even when watching cute or wholesome videos. My wife works hard to understand and put herself in other people's shoes. Every time I think about it, my heart breaks.
Life hasn't been easy for her. She comes from a broken household where her addicted father would beat her mother on a daily basis. From a very young age she not only learned to defend herself but also her younger sister and mother. She has witnessed things that are beyond my imagination, and it hurts me to know that I can never truly understand how much she has suffered (and still suffers). She is scared of loud noises, and it breaks my heart to see this beautiful woman shaking from head to toe when something heavy falls close to her or when I slam the door. Once, when I got angry and screamed, she just sat down, shaking, tears rolling down her emotionless face, looking into my eyes. It's just too hard to watch, and it breaks me.

This all began 2017, when she and I began to like each other during high school and she was a sweetheart. We lost connect for few years and reconnected back in 2019. She had assured me that she still liked me, but soon after I found her tagging a guy in romantic posts, sharing his video with a heart and what not. I removed her from social media afterwards. Then she gave me a friend request again on 2021 and this time, I apologised but she had a boyfriend now.
They broke after few months. And soon after she told me to set her up with new guys. There was this joke where I told her that it was cold and that she should look for people to warm her up and she said, I was there she didn't have to worry about that. But even when we meet up, it's like she is very annoyed to talk to me and having to meet me even though she was the one that wanted to meet up. Last year, I bought her gifts and hung out with her for the entire day on her birthday. But she didn't didn't bother to wish me 2 days back on my birthday even though she watched my Instagram stories. She hasn't been wishing me for the past 5yrs although she watches every story of mine. She treated all those boys on their birthdays fairly nicely and tagged them on sexual memes even if they were on the beginning stage of love blossoming. Also she replies to my text after a day even when I reply to her on time. Sometimes one word replies from her. She is arrogant over the fact that she is pretty and has lots of guys that are hung up on her. I removed her on all social media platforms. But she sent me a text within a day after removing her saying why did I unfriend her and found a follow request again.
How do I say that I no longer want to be friends with her and do not want to have any sort of connection at all?

Hi, so for context I am a 20 year old female and my partner is a 21 year old male. He used to be my boyfriend last year in Summer but we broke up in September due to him cheating (he was trying to be monogamous for me but realized that he cannot suppress his polyamorous urges).
He has been raised very open minded and I have been raised with the typical values most people have and to want monogamous relationships. So basically by nature I’m monogamous and I have been struggling with the idea of his polyamory for the past few months. However, he hasn’t had any other experiences with other people since we met besides the time he cheated.
Anyways, ever since we broke up we have been acting as if we were a couple which brought with it a lot of ups and downs, mainly due to things that I was struggling with because he is my first and I had a lot to learn since he knows how to deal with relationship problems better than me (I’m not his first relationship). I also caused problems last year with not really being able to meet with him during the weekends because my parents wanted me to visit them every weekend (I live in an apartment alone for university) and I was scared to just stay the weekend in the apartment instead so I could meet with him.
I also was struggling with the fact that my parents are not aware with what is going on because last year when we broke up, I was pressured to tell them what was going on with me when I was on holiday with them (the breakup happened right before the holiday and before that they weren’t aware that I was in a relationship) and I told them that he cheated on me and that he wants to be polyamorous. My parents are Christian so this didn’t sit well with them so right now I am keeping everything that is going on between me and him a secret.
I’m telling you all this background stuff because all this caused me to struggle a lot last year and this year and because of that something came up which is causing our relationship to be rocky. In the past few weeks he has revealed to me that he has been struggling with the fact that I am not romantic (I wish I could tell you the exact moment he told me but to be honest so much has happened in the past few weeks that a part of it is a blur).
He has also let me know that last year and this year (even when we were together) that he felt very depressed about the lack of romance and that he couldn’t tell me because then the romance would feel forced. He said that he tried hinting to me about all this but I never got the hint because I am bad at reading between the lines.
He also held on to hope that the romance would somehow come but then a few weeks ago, I caused him to have a breakdown and he told me that the only way the romance problem can be fixed is for me to initiate all the romantic encounters and he will give me what I give him.
For a little more context, he usually gives his all in relationships romance wise but with me he felt he had to put that down quite a lot to reach my level. He told me if he could, he would treat me like a queen and gift me stuff for every occasion but since I don’t do that for him he cannot do it for me (he used to but then he stopped). He mentioned how he can list a few things to gift me just from the top of his head and that I don’t even have any idea what to give him.
He also mentioned how he would always make sure to make time for me last year during the summer (even if I would do that as well) but I suppose in his defense he would have to be the one who travels to me since I’m the one who lives in an apartment alone and he lives with his parents.
To defend my lack of romance, I told him that I was struggling with a lot last year and this year and I didn’t have the time to even think about being romantic. I also hardly have time to think to myself because I’m constantly with my roommate.
Anyways, my question is what romantic things can I do if he doesn’t find some typical romantic things romantic for example: kissing is not romantic to him, hugging isn’t either (he still enjoys them though). He doesn’t associate sex with romance because in his mind they are two separate things.
He did mention that he would appreciate me sending him romantic memes that remind me of him besides the funny ones that I send to the group chat with him and my best friend. Thing is, I mean it’s something I’m going to try but most romantic memes are either too cringy for me or they don’t reflect our relationship at all (besides the ones about sex because our sex life with each other is great it’s just everything else that isn’t the best).
If you got this far, thank you so much for reading. I would really appreciate if anyone has any ideas <3
P.s. Please don’t comment on the polyamory thing, I only mentioned it for context.

Get ready because this is going to be a long one…
It’s 2:35am and I (21M) am no where close to sober, but I remember this experience vividly. Yesterday was a normal Friday except I had my first business casual presentation. It was relatively easy given I had the option to record the presentation instead of give it in class. My recording was exceptional, and I answered the follow up questions well. Even got a few laughs out of the class.
After class, I hit the gym for the first time in a week because I was spending so much time catching up on my studies and preparing my presentation, which is still awaiting a grade.
I felt invincible.
I lift quite regularly, and I think my break took a big toll on my body. I wasn’t using enough energy throughout my day to work up an appetite. My goal is to lose 1lb per week. I lost 5lbs in this single week. I’d estimate that I was eating 1,300 calories a day. A banana and an apple for breakfast, grilled chicken and roasted potatoes for dinner.
Once I got home, I killed a tuna sandwich and a protein shake. After a week of neglecting my health, my dopamine levels were off the roof. I sat down for a good three hours and completed even more work.
So much weight lifted off my shoulders.
In celebration for myself, I took a shot with my roommate and had a few. I was feeling great and decided I needed a shower.
This is where my life changed.
I have done my fair share of research on the benefits of taking cold showers, but I have never actually gone really cold. I take cold showers, but never freezing to the point where I can’t catch my breath.
Well today was my day. I figured I’d start with 30 seconds, and I wasn’t going to cheat it. I had a banger on my speaker that I was keeping pace with for my 30 seconds. After I was positive I had hit 30 seconds, I turned the water off.
The bass dropped and it felt like I was tripping.
I had never felt more empowered in my life. I finally had a true understanding of commitment and discipline. I still have a lot to learn, but we grow everyday.
Take care of yourself.

Not necessarily in that order, but stargazing would be my "happy ending" moment. I'm fond of balconies overlooking the city lights, and conversations round that corner. Weekends were fun, but each year passing by, gets me into the "What's so great about it" moment. I miss the spark of life, as I've always been a free bird.
I would love to have conversations with someone who's opinionated, and a rebel (that shimmering spark in the eye turns me on). Talk to me about your funniest moment on a date, or when your heart sank and melted with compassion. Looking for someone, who would open up to a variety (of kinks too, eventually - and I dont judge), and go on cute icecream dates, and if we vibe, we do the Forehead Kisses, Cuddles and Filter Coffee.
I can go on and on about who I am, but I can firmly say that I am a good person.
A good person who will be hard to deal with for most people. I am definitely not everyone's cup of tea. I guess what I'm hoping for is that somewhere, somehow, that one person reads this rant of mine and goes "Oh, he sounds delightful" and gets in touch maybe? I don't care about country, colour, creed, and I honestly don't have a type. I always just go on feelings. If we vibe, we vibe.
Bonus points, if you spam me with your meme collection. 💛

Expedition report from Rift Group 4
Report carried out by Lieutenant Marvin Bailey
Report states: Peaceful contact with the local town of Una has ended in failure. Upon nearing the gates, the elves demanded RG-4 to identify themselves and after identification, they opened fire on with bows, crossbows, and scorpions. RG4 retaliated by opening fire with its 50mm chain gun, destroying parts of the wall, killing an unknown number of defenders, and destroying their heavy defenses. The initial shock from the chain gun froze the defenders, allowing RG-4 to vacate the area with minimum damage and no losses taken. This was the first unsuccessful interaction with the local populace since the beginning of the expedition and the Rift Group program and it shows that not all natives will be pleased with REC's arrival.
Other news: The enemy force on the other side of the North Alston river has not shown any signs of movement. Moreover, drone footage shows a number of the local populace leaving the Meilume capital and Una across the river, further suggesting that the Imperial army wishes to fortify and wall off the area between the two Alston rivers with the intention of boxing the REC before attacking. CIA sources can confirm this is the case. As far as the Rosian vassal kingdoms are concerned, RG-1, upon making successful contact with the border town of Afa, has sent a platoon, led by lieutenant James Wilson, to the Alston capital of Olinor where they made contact with the king of Alston, Thavok Zorgen. After a number of debates, king Thavok has agreed to accompany the platoon to the duchies of Zirith, Dothen, and Elarith, as well as the kingdom of Opherin to convince the dukes and kind Ostontul to attend a meeting with ambassador Eugene Anderson. Additional transportation will be provided should it be necessary.
30th day of late yellow season
Elyana, Empire of Light
"So.", said the chained human, "Is it my turn to pick the nail or yours?". The torturer responded by punching him in the face. The prisoner spat out a piece of his tooth before answering, "C'mon, you're supposed to be consistent. It's nail, nail, cut, punch. The teeth come later when all the nails are gone. Everyone knows that.". The torturer punched him again. "There you go again, messing up the consistency. I think I know why you work in this shit hole now."
The torturer wanted to hit him again, but a voice stopped him, "Enough!". A moment later, two elves walked into the room.
"Great General Laeroth.", the torturer said as he bowed.
"How is the questioning, Maul?", Laeroth asked.
"Not well, my lord. This human is proving to be a greater challenge than I had anticipated. All I got was a name. Jack Mitchell."
Laeroth sighed as he approached the chained-up human. His body was cut in several places and half of his fingernails have been removed. In addition, he was missing two teeth and bleeding from his mouth and nose. Yet he still denies Maul. As much as it pained Laeroth to admit it, he was impressed. Any Rosian or even elf would have broken by now. What made this human different?
"Jack Mitchell.", Laeroth said, making Jack lift his head and smile.
"What's up?", Jack asked.
"The ceiling.", Laeroth answered, making Jack laugh. "What is humorous?"
"Maul over there said the same thing.", Jack replied as he wheezed, "You sure you're not related? You got the same shade."
This made Maul mad as he grabbed his hammer, "You insolent savage!"
"Calm yourself.", Laeroth said, "I still need this human alive. High mage Gunru, you have my permission.".
"Yes, general.", said Gunru. He was one of the seven high mages of the empire in North Altia, second only to the grand mage Ishton. Each high mage is able to use more than one type of magical ability. Usually, a mage is only able to use one ability from a single spirit. The mages of Vita can be healers or they can use their power to give life to made objects. This way they can create their own army, however, the mage has to remain alive in order for the creature to remain alive, and if the creature is destroyed the life will return back to its source. The mages of Elendi can use one of the various elements, such as wind, fire, water, and so on. One other ability the high mages possess is 'Mind read'. By focusing their spiritual energy on the mind of the target, they can visualize their knowledge.
"What the hell are you doing?", Jack asked as Gunru grabbed his head with both hands, "I mean I'm flattered but I'm into women, just so you know."
Gunru closed his eyes and white energy started appearing from his hands. That energy went into Jack's head, which remained perfectly still as this occurred. Gunru entered his mind and began to project Jack's memories, thoughts, and knowledge around him. Laeroth just watched. He himself couldn't see unless Gunru gave the knowledge to him. But he did see something that disturbed him. Gunru began to twitch. A twitching that turned to shake as his eyes opened and quickly pulled back while panting and holding his head as though he had a headache.
"Gunru.", Laeroth called, "Tell me, what have you seen?"
Gunru shook and could barely grasp the words to speak, "T-T-Terrible things. A mistake. All of this was a mistake."
"Show me."
"No!", Gunru yelled immediately, "You must not. I could not get all the details myself. You will go insane."
"I must know our enemy. Even if it is a little, I must know. Gunru, you must show me."
Gunru greatly hesitated and opposed this. But at the same time, he knew if anyone was able to take the strain, it was Laeroth, the most loyal servant of the empire. "Very well. I shall show you as much as I can. Forgive me."
As Gunru placed his hands on Laeroth's head, the same energy went into it. Laeroth opened his eyes and found himself on a field of battle. Two sides were fighting, humans. One side had blue clothing and the other was red, both fighting with cannons and boomsticks, but nothing else. The blue-clothed soldiers appeared to be winning and they charged the red ones, all while carrying a flag. Red and white stripes with stars. It was brutal. What could it mean?
Night turned to day over and over again, until another battle occurred. Same thing, broomsticks, and cannons, but they fought each other. Once again, there was a flag with stars and stripes but now there were two. A civil war? Hundreds of thousands of men died all for what?
Fast forward, Laeroth appeared in another field, but considerably more terrifying. It was a field of black mud, ash, and blood as far as the eye could see. Thousands upon thousands of bodies piled up around giant cannons that fired and destroyed castles. He could see waves of soldiers running forward at their dug-in enemies. They fell by the dozen until a few lucky ones reached the line and engaged in a brutal brawl. The fighting kept escalating until a massive white cloud filled the battlefield and everyone caught in started choking and dying.
Once the smoke cleared, Laeroth could see hundreds of thousands, no, millions of soldiers and armored beasts marching across a field. They fought another gigantic army, one Laeroth thought could never exist. Millions of troops met on the battlefield and slaughtered one another as the metal monsters spat fire and thousands of iron wyverns fought in the air. Massive ships of steel fired enormous cannons of steel at one another as hundreds of iron rods fell from the sky and flattened the cities below.
Closing and opening his eyes one more time he saw a city. A large city with towers of stone and glass that pierced the clouds. But then he saw it get destroyed as it was engulfed in a literal sea of flames. All of those people were dead in an instant, and in place of the city was a gigantic cloud in the shape of a mushroom.
The day turned to night again as Laeroth was lifted into the air and observed the world change. The nations fought one another while also existing in peace. Cities became massive and their armies even more powerful. But then, the fires came. The great cities turned to a smoldering pile of ash as they turned on one another in the name of 'salvation'. War, disease, poverty, entire civilizations were whipped out and empires started to fall. But in this chaos, something was born. The petty rivalry of the great powers vanished and united they led their armies and pulled the corruption by its roots. It took them decades but they did it. And now united, they rebuilt their homes. The world was not at peace but they made the most of it. At least until they showed up. The rift opened, the invasion failed and now an angered giant prepares to take its vengeance and punish them for their crimes.
Gunru stopped sending energy into Laeroth's mind and let go of his head. Laeroth bent over and panted. His heart was racing and his nose bleeding. He could not believe what he saw. Was there really no hope? Was this war lost before it even began? How was he to win? He wasn't, but he knew he couldn't just give up. His pride as a warrior and a soldier wouldn't let him. But more than that, it was Canus. His maniacal nature coupled with fear will only make things worse if he were to find out. Furthermore, the Inquisition will most likely pull strings and keep the war going for their sick and twisted games. Laeroth knew he had to come up with something, otherwise, the empire will crumble.
"General, are you alright.", Maul asked.
"I am fine Maul.", Laeroth answered, "Take the human back to the cell and treat his wounds. I will let you know what I want with him next later."
"Yes, my lord.", Maul said as he gestured to the guards to help him.
"Gunru."
"Yes, general?", Gunru answered.
"You must not speak of this to anyone. Not even the emperor. This stays between us. Do you understand me?"
"Yes, general."
"Good. Now excuse me, I must clean myself and prepare for the future.". Laeroth left the torture chamber and climbed up the steps to the halls. On his way to his personal chamber, he could feel a strange sensation run down his spine. The effects of the mind read? No, this was something else. He made a random turn and walked down a narrow hallway. After taking a few steps, he prepared a knife and waited. Soon, a cloaked individual suddenly appeared from behind the corner and started running away. Laeroth immediately gave chase, signaling the guards in front to stop him. Two guards formed up with shields, which made him stop for a moment. After a moment Laeroth threw his knife at his back. He yelled in pain as he fell over and the guards moved in.
"Leave him!", Laeroth shouted as he grabbed the man and pulled the cloak down. It turned out to be a woman. "Who sent you!? Talk!". His words fell on deaf ears as the woman's head twitched and a thick purple foam-like substance oozed from her mouth. Laeroth groaned and let her go, "Burn the body. Speak nothing of this.". The guards nodded and carried the body outside.
'Gilshor.', Laeroth thought, 'I will not let you turn this war into your own personal puppet show. The darkness will not rule the light.'
---
(Meanwhile)
Upper level of the Imperial palace
Lilyth Camilla Agorix was always a strange girl. While the other girls took care of their hair, she took care of the armor forged specifically for her. While the other girls practiced knitting and read poetry, she expressed an interest in politics and philosophy. This behavior wasn't particularly accepted by her father. Her mother, on the other hand, empress Alruna Flavia Agorix, greatly supported her. It was thanks to her effort that women were allowed to join the army, and at the moment, a tenth of the army is female. Alruna wasn't named the Lioness for anything, and Lilyth tries to live up to her expectations.
But some members of the family aren't as hard-working as her. Her brother Armas is the biggest and most disgusting slob. She could hear him and his hooligans laugh in his chamber. Trying her best to ignore them, she walked past, but as Armas exited the room he called her over, "Hey sister! Come on in. We have room."
Lilyth groaned, "I have more important matters to attend to than entertain a room full of children."
Armas laughed, "Oh come on, loosen up. The slaves taught me that."
"Armas, if mother finds out-"
"What? What will she do? These slaves were given to me and I can do whatever I want with them."
"Is that so?", spoke a mature womanly voice, "Tell me, Armas, what exactly have you been doing?"
"M-Mother?", Armas uttered. Next to her was the second youngest daughter, Khelsa, along with the captive human girl, Amy. The two became friends after Amy arrived and while Alruna didn't support it at first, she learned that a child is a child, and her being from a supposedly savage land is irrelevant. "Nothing. Just questioning these captives with my soldiers."
"You mean raping women with your hooligans.", Alruna said as she walked into his room. The stench and sight made her sick. "Guards! Take these women to my chambers and bring along some maids. Clean them, feed them, and dress them properly." Guards did just that, pushing away the thugs who grunted in response.
"Khelsa?", Amy asked, "Is that your brother?"
Khelsa sighed in response, "Yes. I'm sorry you had to see this."
As the guards took the women out, Armas protested, "Mother, this is unfair. These women are my slaves. Furthermore, they are savages from a barbaric land. They should consider themselves lucky to even be in my presence. Father says-"
Alruna slapped him, stopping his sentence, "Your father may be the emperor, but I know him better than anyone else. He is narrow-minded and frightened, only seeing what is right in front of him, and never bothering to properly assess anything. We may be the chosen bringers of light, but if we act as barbaric as our adversaries then we are no better than them. Now, get this room cleaned and then yourself. You are royalty, act like it." With that Alruna and Lilyth left, leaving Armas to bicker and throw tantrums.
"Thank you, mother.", Lilyth said, "I must go now."
"Go, my daughter.", said Alruna. Lilyth bowed and entered her chamber.
"Fenris.", she spoke, "Is everything ready?"
"Yes, princess.", Fenris said, "The savage stands before you in chains and the scribe has prepared the parchment."
"Excellent. Scribe, you are to document any and all findings. Listen carefully. Do you understand?"
"Yes, princess.", answered the scribe.
"Let us begin.", Lilyth said as she walked to the captive, "What is your name?"
"You know that.", he answered and received a back-handed slap. After moving his head back, he answered, "Brian O'Neil."
"Where are you from?"
"My mom.", to which he received a punch in the stomach. It didn't hurt a lot, considering he was a large man. "The United States of America."
"Tell me more about it."
"It's a unity of fifty-two states with three hundred and fifty million people."
This shocked Lilyth but she didn't show it, "Are there more countries?"
"Many more. My country isn't even the biggest one."
"So there are more empires in your world."
"No, there aren't any."
Lilyth paused for a moment, "Then what?"
"We are a republic. We elect our leader and that leader represents us. He doesn't have all the power and all of his decisions are put to a vote. Empires and kings are a thing of the past."
"You expect me to believe that? A nation cannot function without a centralized figure controlling it."
Brad chuckled, "We use to think that, too. But we found out that the opposite is true. One person can control a city, or maybe a small nation. But the bigger a nation gets and the more powerful it gets, the more strain appears on a single person. This is why our nations are governed by dozens of people and we have careful systems for governance. A single person is not enough. He would only bring ruin."
This shocked Lilyth more. A system like this was always theorized by politicians and philosophers, but nothing was ever tested because the emperors abolished it, saying that it goes against the path of light. "You say that. But our empire has grown powerful and spread across the world. We have become its rulers and spreaders of wisdom, knowledge, and civilization."
"There used to be an empire in my world that thought just like you. They wanted to conquer the entire world and make it so that only their ways exist. Do you want to know what happened?"
"What?"
"They became too big. There was too much ground. Their forces were spread thin and could be picked off by united barbarians who didn't like their ways. War stopped and since their economy depended on it, it crumbled. Their politicians became corrupt and power-hungry. They stole from and even killed each other. Eventually, they fell beneath the force of the united kingdoms they called savages and were wiped out. This is why no one can truly conquer the world. No matter how hard you fight, the world always wins."
Lilyth clenched her fists and stared at Brad with an angered look, "You say that we will end up the same?"
"If you refuse to change, then yes.".
After staring at him for a few moments, she spoke, "Fenris! Take him back to his cell. We will continue this tomorrow."
"At once, princess.", Fenris said and grabbed Brad by the arm.
As they were walking out the door, Brad turned his head to Fenris, "You know she likes you, right?".
Fenris looked at him for a bit before pushing him forward. Lilyth was left to ponder Brad's words. There is still much for her to learn.
---
(That night)
Somewhere between Meilume capital and Una
Being a prisoner is never good. Your rights are taken away and the ones who captured you can do anything they want to you. They could kill you, sell you or worse. This was the predicament the Belus family found itself in. Out of the two hundred soldiers that accompanied them, only one soldier remained, the others were killed and fed to the welfen and leanoids. The Belus family was in a cage with the last soldier, Klaus, and a servant, Lia. The five of them were all sitting with their hands tied behind their backs, wondering what will happen next. Taria was still grieving over the death of Aego, not even lifting her head.
"Bellon.", Nimriel whispered, "What will happen to us?"
"Do not worry.", Bellon said, "We will alright."
"Stop lying, father.", Taria said, still with head lowered, "These people will first rape us, torture us and then demand ransom from the empire."
"Hush, my lady.", Lia said, "Don't say such things."
"What? The truth?"
"You should listen to the little girl.", said a rogue elf as he crouched in front of the cage. Behind him was the fire in the center of the camp with four more rogues, two leanoids, and one welfen. Most of the bandits were asleep, only over a dozen stayed awake. "The money we'll get from you will make us set for life. Sure, we might have lost more than half our men, but that just means more for the living."
Taria spat, "Open this cage and I'll show you a little girl."
The rogue chuckled, "Quite a fighter. I saw you kill that leanoid. You're good. Why don't you come with us?"
"Why would I join a bunch of good-for-nothing traitors? You know nothing of honor, duty or the light."
The rogue laughed, "They still teach that shit? The light is nothing but a made-up excuse the first emperor made so we can take these lands. People like us? We see the truth. And all of you are being manipulated."
"You dare mock the path of light?", asked Bellon.
"Shouldn't a bad joke be mocked?"
Taria and Bellon gritted their teeth. This is why rogues are killed on sight. They know nothing but greed. As Taria stared at the rogue, something appeared in the corner of her vision. A man in green armor held a black boomstick and aimed it at the bandits by the fire. She looked around and saw six more. Are they insane? If they fire it, it will alert everyone. But when they fired them, only a slight sound was heard. Enough for the rogue in front of her to turn around. He saw his mates dead, but couldn't call for help as his neck was ripped out by a welfen. The Belus family was in shock as the welfen opened the cage.
"Don't be afraid.", he spoke, "I'm with the Americans."
This confused the family. "Who?", Taria asked.
Soon after, a soldier in green got to them, "My name is Lieutenant Caden Roberts of RG-3. We're here to rescue you.". He cut their ropes and waved his hand to signal the rest of his men. As they moved, Taria saw the dead bodies of the bandits and when they got out of the camp she could see that only fifteen soldiers, including two tribals, came to rescue them.
"Who are you people?", Taria asked.
"We're the Rift Expeditionary Force from the United States of America.", said the lieutenant as he pressed a small metallic box which caused the entire bandit camp to get engulfed in flames. The bandits burned and screamed, some ran out of the camp but got shot by the green soldiers. Their camouflaged armor, repeating broomsticks, and fire magic puzzled Taria greatly. She couldn't even see their faces from their masks and eyewear. Who are they? Her questions had to wait a little longer, as iron carriages moved from behind them and opened.
"Lieutenant, is it go time?", spoke the man from one of the carriages.
"Yeah.", said the lieutenant, "Let's go, I'll get them to the MRAP. Come on.". He led the five of them to the middle carriages through its back door. It looked like it was completely made of metal and that it could take a cannon shot. This just further confused them. As the carriages started moving, they noticed that it was going at high speeds, even faster than horses.
"Who are you?", Bellon asked, "What do you want from us?"
The soldiers in front of them looked at each other before taking their masks and helmets off, revealing their pale faces. It wasn't anything sinister and they didn't look like they intended to harm them.
"I am sergeant Jeff Parker.", spoke one of them.
"I am staff sergeant Liam Cook.", spoke the other one, "Over here is Lioba, our feelian, and Olaf, our friendly welfen."
"It's welfen that attacked us.", Klaus spoke.
"Do not speak as if they are of my kind.", said Olaf in an angered tone, "Those beasts lost their meaning in life."
"What do you mean?", Jeff asked.
"Each wolf lives for the pack. For the tribe. He fights for it, provides for it, and dies for it. These wolves, they've abandoned their blood and chosen the life of a wild animal. They're no better than the ferals."
"I see. We have those too. We call them deserters. They flee the army and abandon their brothers. And so we hunt them down and punish them."
"As you should."
After some silence, Klaus spoke, "Forgive me. I meant no disrespect.". Olaf nodded.
"Are you taking us home?", Nimriel asked.
"No.", Liam said, "We're taking you to Galdush. Our lieutenant-general wishes to speak with you. Well, lord Bellon more specifically." The five went silent. This was the enemy from the rift, and now they're taking them to their leader.
"Are we to become your slaves then?", Taria asked.
Jeff and Liam chuckled a bit. "No no, of course not. That kind of thing is in the past for us. Our lieutenant-general only wants to speak with you. After a nice conversation, we will personally bring you back to the Meilume capital."
"How do you know its name?", Bellon asked.
"We have our ways. Now sit back and enjoy the ride.", Liam said as he pulled some blocks out of his pocket. When he opened it, it was gray and seemed to be food. After offering it to Lia, he spoke, "Hungry?". After some hesitation, Lia took it and tasted it. It was quite delicious. As she ate the whole thing, Liam chuckled as he opened a bag, "Don't strain yourself, I have enough for everyone."
---
(Several hours later)
Fort Galdush
"My lady.", said Lia as she shook Taria, "My lady, wake up, we've arrived."
Taria woke up, "What? How long have I been asleep?"
"A few hours, my lady."
This was surprising, to say the least, "We're already here?". She looked out the window and saw their fort as well as their machines. The M2 battle tanks rolled over the hills and fired at the targets, blasting through them. She saw soldiers shooting their guns and groups running in a circle. At the gate, the lieutenant introduced himself and the convoy continued. Inside, they could see soldiers clad in thick, metal armor carrying large boxes and as they got out of the MRAP they saw the Invictus ACs flying in the air. All of this overwhelmed them. To them, these were otherworldly monsters. To the rangers, it was a normal everyday occurrence.
Lieutenant Roberts stood in front of his men, "Alright. I will take lord Bellon Belus to lieutenant-general Coleman. Parker, Cook, you take the rest to their temporary residents."
"Yes sir.", both of them said as they saluted, "Okay, let's go. I promise it's nothing bad."
Taria, Lia, Nimriel, and Klaus went with Jeff and Liam to their residence while Caden took Bellon to the lieutenant-general. The two of them went into the central command building.
"Lieutenant Caden Roberts of Rift Group 3 here to see colonel Andrew Marshal and lieutenant-general Patrick Coleman.", he said to a woman who worked as a secretary.
After some delay, the woman nodded, "Go down the hall to meeting room two."
"Thank you. Come on.". Bellon followed Caden through the hall. He admired how it was crystal clear and pearl white like they were made of pure marble. As they walked they reached the meeting room and entered. Inside were two men who stood up immediately.
"Good morning.", said the first man, "I am lieutenant-general Patrick Coleman of the Rift Expeditionary Corp. And this is our logistics officer, colonel Andrew Marshal."
"Nice to meet you.", Andrew said, "You are the lord of Meilume, Bellon Belus, correct?"
Bellon stuttered, "Y-Yes I am. Great general, you have my eternal gratitude for saving my life, and my family.", he said as he bowed.
"Please.", Patrick spoke, "No need to bow. And please call me Patrick. Sit down."
"Thank you, Patrick.", Bellon said as he sat down, Caden next to him.
"While I accept your gratitude, I'm going to need to ask something else of you?"
'Of course. What was I expecting?', Bellon thought, "And what would that be? If it is gold I assure you the emperor will pay a decent sum for my family and me."
"Oh no, god no. I'm not asking for money. I need something from you that only someone of your status within the empire can provide."
'Someone of my status'. "What exactly?"
"As you know, your empire opened a rift in our country and attacked without warning and unprovoked. We beat the invasion force and the force than came after it. You lost two armies in less than a month, or, a moon cycle as you call them."
"Yes, I am aware of this. What does that have to do with me? I didn't send those armies."
"We know. But you have a connection with the person who did. And we want you to send a message to him for us."
'A message?' "And what kind of message?"
"We would like an audience with a representative to negotiate peace."
This stunned Bellon. 'Peace?'
---
(Meanwhile)
Jeff and Liam brought the four to an empty army barracks, reserved for these situations. "Okay.", Liam spoke, "You'll be staying here until the lieutenant-general orders otherwise. Don't worry, you'll be comfortable." They entered the barracks and it was clean, with several beds, a fridge, desks, and lights, which Jeff turned on, surprising the 'guests'.
"Make yourselves at home.", Jeff said, "I'll bring you some breakfast soon.". He left and closed the door, leaving the four to talk.
"What do you think will happen, Klaus?", Nimriel asked.
"I don't know, my lady.", he answered, "But we shouldn't do anything to anger them. I think we should wait and see what is to come."
Taria looked out the window and saw the tanks and LAVs driving past as well as soldiers marching in unison. "Incredible. All this power. They could have destroyed Meilume before we even had the chance to escape. And yet here we are. In their fortress, waiting for them to bring us food. They want something."
"Well.", Lia said, "That man who offered me the sweet food was nice. I think they're not that bad."
"They are the enemy, Lia. Enemies should never be trusted. It might seem like they are good, but they are using us. They want us here so we can witness their power and use us to spread fear through the rest of the empire. Clever."
"I think you are thinking too much about it, my lady. Perhaps you need to sit down, and rest."
Taria sighed. She walked to a nearby desk and observed the notebooks, pens, and pencils. She sat down and opened a notebook, immediately noticing how the paper is milk-white with lines to help her writing. Picking up one of the pens, she observed how smooth it was and made of spotless, thin metal, but also how it didn't have a tip. Then she noticed the round top and remembered how the lieutenant pressed his metal box. Pressing down the top, the pen clicked and the tip appeared. Amazed, she clicked it several more times before starting to write.
"Taria?", Nimriel asked, "What are you doing?"
"I'm writing down what I saw."
At that moment, Jeff opened the door and brought several white cardboard boxes, "I brought breakfast. I hope it's to your liking."
Each of them took one and Jeff put the last one on Taria's desk. She looked at him and asked, "Can you show me more of your fortress?"
Jeff hesitated a bit, "Why?"
"I'm curious. I wish to learn."
"So you can write it down and give the information to the army?". Taria sat silently. This wasn't untrue. "Look, we're not your enemy. Our commanding officer is talking to your father about peace. Truth is, we don't want war.". Taria paused to think about that. "But if I get permission, I'll show you around."
"I would appreciate it. Thank you."
End of chapter 10
​
---
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My dog passed away last week from heart failure and I feel such immeasurable guilt and regret over it because the signs were there several months leading up to that day but we didn’t take them seriously. He had a continuous cough, usually when he would get out of bed, I would say 2-3 times a day I would hear him cough, and he would always fart each time he coughed and I would sometimes laugh. Now that I know why he was coughing, how could I laugh?? I feel so awful, I didn’t know it was so serious. We had asked about his coughing in december, and at the time his vet didn’t hear anything wrong with his heart or lungs and said he wasn’t too concerned, but it was up to us if we wanted to go to the next step and do tests etc we thanked him and we left thinking ok he doesnt seem too worried. But the last couple months I felt like it got worse, we even stupidly bought him cough syrup and that did absolutely nothing. I dont want to make excuses, but my mum would always say he was just coughing because he was old (He was turning 17 in august), whatever that means, and I let that rub off on me. In the end we sort of just got ‘used to’ him coughing, we became desensitised. But I should have known way better. Like I saw someone say “dogs dont just repeatedly cough for no reason”, I should have known.
He still loved going on walks, eating and begging for scraps, he was his usual self from what I saw, and I always felt he acted so much younger then 16 and naiively thought he could live until he was 20. Especially because because he was a mega mutt, not a pedigree labrador as my other dog. How stupid I was. I never would have imagined he would have such a serious condition, which im so stupid for because I knew he was old, did I really think he would go his whole life being healthy? We were planning on getting him properly checked again, because it did seem to be getting a bit worse, my sister even messaged us a week before that she thinks we should, and we said yh we want to, so why didn’t we make an appointment asap?? why did we keep pushing it back. If I knew how little time we had left, I would have made one in a heart beat. We ended up having to rush him to the vet last week because he was acting strange and holding his head up, they did an x ray and found his heart was huge and there were also problems with his lungs, we were given medicine, but only 8 or 9 hours later he passed away. By the time we found out his condition, it was too late and in the final stages. and he ended up dying painfully because of that, I can’t get rid of his final moments out of my head. If we had found out earlier, even just a week, I would have prepared myself on what to expect and euthanasia. I wish he didn’t suffer like that. My poor baby. I don’t think I will ever forgive myself, I feel like a monster. How could I claim I loved him but not take his health issues as seriously as I should. I miss him so so much. He had to suffer because of me, and now i’m suffering too.
and the frustrating things is that when you type in google “why is my dog coughing”, heart disease is the first thing that comes up. Did I not see that when I was looking things up? did I choose to ignore it thinking the internet always exaggerates things? I don’t know what I was thinking. I wish I could rewind time so badly and do everything differently. I definitely want to learn from these mistakes, I have another dog and I vow to make sure I don’t overlook anything with him, I just hate that my poor baby had to be the ‘guinea pig’ for that.
I wish I could say that I did everything for him, I wish I was one of those owners who would take their dog to the vet for the smallest of things, I wish I was more attentive to him aging and growing old. I just wish he was never in pain. I failed him
Has anyone out there had the same regrets and guilt? or am I all alone?

Not necessarily in that order, but stargazing would be my "happy ending" moment. I'm fond of balconies overlooking the city lights, and conversations round that corner. Weekends were fun, but each year passing by, gets me into the "What's so great about it" moment. I miss the spark of life, as I've always been a free bird.
I would love to have conversations with someone who's opinionated, and a rebel (that shimmering spark in the eye turns me on). Talk to me about your funniest moment on a date, or when your heart sank and melted with compassion. Looking for someone, who would open up to a variety (of kinks too, eventually - and I dont judge), and go on cute icecream dates, and if we vibe, we do the Forehead Kisses, Cuddles and Filter Coffee.
I can go on and on about who I am, but I can firmly say that I am a good person.
A good person who will be hard to deal with for most people. I am definitely not everyone's cup of tea. I guess what I'm hoping for is that somewhere, somehow, that one person reads this rant of mine and goes "Oh, he sounds delightful" and gets in touch maybe? I don't care about country, colour, creed, and I honestly don't have a type. I always just go on feelings. If we vibe, we vibe.
Bonus points, if you spam me with your meme collection. 💛

I get panic attacks when I see them in my neighborhood. I panic when I find out someone I've been speaking to is a Jehovah's Witness, it feels like a trap. I get anxiety whenever someone knocks on my door on Saturday and Sunday. Whenever I drive by a Kingdom hall I feel dread. Most of my family are Jehovah's Witnesses and constantly try to bring it up to me. Even when I just visit they always seem to be watching something from JW dot org. I work at a hotel and accidentally revealed to a guest that I used to be a JW (I recognized his no blood card) and I almost quit because he is here all the time and now I constantly am stuck behind the desk being unable to escape his constant preaching because telling a Titanium member to leave is considered rude. Every week it feels like something comes up and I just wish I could forget it all. I wish I could forget the 144,000, or forget the fucking memorial, or forget the assemblies, and meetings, and everything because this shit makes daily life so fucking stressful.

My mother and I are currently dealing with issues regarding our house and are having to temporarily live with her father (my grandfather), and I cant stand it anymore. He's lived alone for a long time so he really doesnt understand how to live with someone and respect their privacy and items. He also has a habit of going out and drinking from 7pm-2am, and coming home drunk. It's uncomfortable living with someone who comes home drunk every night. Not to mention he has a temper problem. He easily gets angry at the smallest things and that too is uncomfortable to deal with and to be around. Oh the fridge is beeping because the door was left open, well his response is to cuss under his breath at the fridge. Oh he drops something, starts cussing. And he's constantly commenting on my mother and I's living habits even though his house was a mess before we moved in, and we were the ones who cleaned it.
If we could, we'd move in with my grandmother. It would be the superior option but I'm worried about my cat, silly I know, but he's my everything. My grandmother owns a german shephard and I worry if we did move in with her, there would be issues between the animals. I was wondering if maybe installing a door (between living areas) while we were there temporarily might be a solution, but still that worries me. I think soon i'll take my cat over to test the waters. I just want to move out of my grandfathers, and I know my mother does too. She sticks through it for the cat too though lol.

My 8 month old lab/collie has scratched my door to the point it needs replaced. I’m looking advice on how to stop the behaviour because I’m not sure how, he stops when I bring him inside. I work from home and when the weather is good, I’d prefer him to be outside with my other dog (3F) when I’m working. They are both crate trained but it would mean being crated for the majority of the day (out during my breaks) and then at night for sleeping, which seems excessive.

Summary:
I don't know what to do about my wife's alcoholism anymore. It's reached a serious tipping point. She's amazing but has mental disorders that are comorbid with her alcoholism. She will get me near the tipping point, fix things, do it again, and cycle. I am also afraid she will harm herself or me if I left. I don't know what to do anymore.
An Apology:
Before I even start, I'm really sorry that I'm bothering everyone because I feel like I should know what to do and not be going back and forth like I've been doing. But, I'm online asking a bunch of strangers for advice (probably because I'm too much of a piece of shit to just man up and do what needs doing).
So, I'm genuinely really sorry. I just feel embarrassed.
My Wife:
One of the smartest, sweetest, amazing women I've ever met. She really is and has been my best friend for nearly 8 years. We do everything together from gaming, books, travel, and she even supports my dream of becoming a writer. We got married about 9 months ago.
I can honestly, without reservation or doubt, say that I love her with all my heart.
She is in the middle of getting a career in medicine.
She has a history of mental issues (primarily bipolar), and I highly suspect she has 1+ untreated neurological issues that result in her struggling with attention, some memory, and other minor things. Because of recent events with work, she is being forced to deal with them.
Me:
I'm a writer and work to make real money. I have moved around to help her get her career off the ground and be a good husband. I'm not perfect, but I really try. I have no money. I have a family in the state.
History:
She has had substance abuse problems with on and off throughout her life since she was a teenager. She stopped the hardcore substances around the time I met her and has cleaned up her act substantially. When I met her, I didn't see too much of a problem because I had only seen her in small doses or in social situations.
The deeper into our relationship we got, the worse the issue became. Whenever she'd drink, she became a different person. Whereas she was normally calm, collected, and reasonably friendly when she was sober, she transformed into this raging party animal when she was drunk. It was like she never wanted the party to end and lost all ability to "read the room." Alongside her sudden change of behavior, we would always, without fail, get into a fight. Usually, it was because I was the voice of reason (e.g., "don't go out to 8 more bars and go dancing all night when you have work in the morning," "you probably should lower your voice because you're literally yelling right next to someone," "why are you going in and out of the house and slamming all the doors for the millionth time to yell on the phone at 1 am?", etc.).
For the first few years, I let it go. Every time I confronted her, she told me she would stop (and still do). After the first times, she started sneaking alcohol. She would buy handles, drink them in secret, and leave the empties in her bag/draweetc. like her father used to. I would find them (usually by accident) and she would turn it around on me with accusations that I shouldn't be going through her things.
As time has gone on, the alcoholism stabilized for a while until about 2 years ago. Honestly, I think I still partially blame myself for her deep dive into drinking near the end. I went off to be in law enforcement in another state because we were talking about setting up a life there for when she left medical school. There was no work where we were. So, we both agreed that I go ahead, set everything up, get established, and she would follow in X months. We both agreed on the plan, but she couldn't handle the loneliness. So, she started hanging out with our alcoholic, piece-of-shit, useless neighbor, who I suspect got her back into drinking. Obviously, our plans blew up in my face.
Every time she drinks, we fight over stupid shit. She has driven drunk, spent ridiculous amounts of money (separate bank accounts) on drinking in private, won't tell me when I ask (and know) if she's been drinking. In our most recent fight, she tried to sit in my lap while we were fighting over her insulting my mother. After telling her no, she decided she would try to force her way there. I moved to stop her by putting my hand out (not aggressively. Just stick it out to stop her). She got angry because she said I was pushing her. So, she reacted by trying to choke me, to which I had to physically restrain her (non-violently) to de-escalate the situation. When she calmed down, I immediately let her go and backed off.
This isn’t the first time she’s hit me during a fight. She punched me in the arm two times before. I have never once raised a fist, hit her, or threatened to do so.
She has rejected professional help because she doesn't want it to get out and affect her professional status.
Now:
Since then, she has apologized profusely and claims she can't remember the situation. She has been doing a lot of nice, small things for me to show me she's "trying." She is about to join intensive therapy to go over her medication and other issues. However, I don't think alcoholism is among it. She's fine for now, but I don't know. Every single time she does well for a while and I start to trust her, she screws up and goes back to being in the doghouse. Lately, she's been stressed out because of work, giving up drinking (again), and so forth.
Honestly, I'm feeling fairly shocked, disgusted, and shattered over recent events. I haven't been happy even half the time for the last few years. Everything is just tinged with either stress or sadness. I'm tired of the apologies and being sad.
Problem:
I don't know that I want to stay anymore. The good times are some of the f***ing best times. She is sweet, funny, and amazing. She is getting adjacent help. I love her. However, I don't see the good side very often. Instead, I see the monster, who is spiteful, inconsiderate, and selfish. And, I'm tired of being close to leaving, having her fix it, have it get better, and just continue that cycle endlessly.
But I keep going back and forth on it. I can't seem to decide, even though this is depressing me. I feel trapped because I'm unhappy, but I don't want to abandon someone that needs help so badly. Also, I fear she would:
A) stab me to death if I try to leave,
B) commit suicide if I try,
C) delve straight into her habits and ruin her life
D) become so depressed that her life will crumble.
Her mother is a divorce lawyer with a protective streak for her daughter. I fear that she'll try to blame me or make my life worse if I leave.
Any thoughts? Advice? Anything? Am I an asshole?